Coaching for Personal Empowerment

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To explore the foundations of personal transformation and change and how the 7 aspects of self can either enable or disempower us in our quest to change our behaviour to achieve the work and life results we desire
• Can you change someone?
• Why sustainable change is so hard
• What are the barriers and motivators for change
• The 7 aspects of self that impact our ability to change
• The personal transformation cycle
• The personal transformation pyramid
• Coaching tools for change
• Guidelines for sustainable change

Published in: Self Improvement
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Coaching for Personal Empowerment

  1. 1. Personal Leadership and Empowerment Leadership│Empowerment │ Awareness │ Drive
  2. 2. Coaching to change behaviour and create personal empowerment and transformation Debbie Craig, MD: Catalyst Consulting and World Alive • Can you change someone? • Why sustainable change is so hard • What are the barriers and motivators for change • The 7 aspects of self that impact our ability to change • The personal transformation cycle • The personal transformation pyramid • Coaching tools for change • Guidelines for sustainable change
  3. 3. Can people change?
  4. 4. egotistical (I know best) procrastination (tomorrow is another day) poor time and priority management (I haven’t had time) workaholic (just one more e.mail) healthy lifestyle (I’ll start next month/year) lack of empathy (who cares?) lack of awareness (what did I do?) defensiveness (it wasn’t me)
  5. 5. Awareness Insight Willingness Action Changing behavior to change results Only if you change your approach, can you change your results
  6. 6. Barriers and Motivators for change • Fear of failure • Fear of loss of credibility/image • Fear of uncertainty • Fear of not coping • Fear of incompetence • Fear of losing what you have • Fear of being found out Fears • Denial • Excuses • Avoiding feedback • Ego • Procrastination • Aggression • Avoidance/withdrawal • Blame/criticism Coping mechanisms  Power – wealth, success, prestige, power, freedom, personal power  Achievement – tick list, contribution, purpose, recognition, self-actualisation  Affiliation – acceptance, belonging, love, health Motivators What’s the pay-off?
  7. 7. 7 Dynamics if you ask people to do something different • People will feel awkward, ill-at-ease and self conscious • People will think first about what they must give up • People will feel alone even if everyone is going through the change • People can handle only so much change • People are at different levels of readiness for change • People will be concerned that they don’t have enough resources • If you take the pressure off people will revert back to old behaviour Real change can be perceived as painful Active Emotional Response Passive Time ReceiveShock Unexpected news Depression Disbelief Anger Wishing to change the past Acceptance Hope Positive Activity
  8. 8. Understanding the language of the mind & the power of the subconscious External Event 2 million bits/sec 134 bits/sec FILTERS/ PROGRAMMES Delete Distort Generalize Paradigms Language Memories Decisions Values Beliefs Attitudes Your interpretation of events Your interpretation of the world Your PARADIGM
  9. 9. Programs • 0-4 years old - 50% of our thinking is stamped in our brain • 4-8 years old - 30% “ “ • 8-18 years old - 15% “ “  95% of programs is stamped in our heads
  10. 10. What actually happens Feel “good” Event ? Feel “bad” Body reacts Mind reactsWe react SURVIVING CYCLE
  11. 11. When the conscious and sub-conscious work together, the outcome becomes a reality Rational Logical Thinker/analyzer Words & numbers Willpower (effort) Get’s bored and tired easily Conscious The power to think Emotional Conceptual Creator/imaginator Pictures & symbols Personal power (effortless) Limitless energy All memory All Beliefs/instincts/habits Runs the body Sub-Conscious The power to do Conscious/Subconscious
  12. 12. Core Wounds • We all have 5 primary wounds that stimulate intense emotional responses based on the fear and pain of it happening again FEAR Rejection Abandonment Humiliation Betrayal Injustice Birth Primary school Finish school First Job Marriage / Family Leadership Career moves Childhood University Appointed to Manager Student days…
  13. 13. What actually happens Feel “good” Event ? SURVIVING CYCLE
  14. 14. How do we break the cycle? Feel “good” Event Interpre -tation Option A Perception of threat Fight or flight Adrenaline Subconscious reaction NO CHOICE Option B Perception of no threat Reflect , analyse, choose before act Conscious response CHOICES ? VICTIM VICTOR
  15. 15. Processing emotions • What is the emotion trying to tell me? • Is it a boundary issue? • Is it an expectation issue? • Is it a difference in opinion, belief, value, approach, intent? • Is it affecting my self-esteem/self-image? • Is it an assumption or an incorrect belief – about myself/another? • WHAT HAS TO CHANGE? e-motion = energy in motion
  16. 16. It is not what happens to us that defines us ... but how we choose to respond to what happens
  17. 17. Changing behaviour requires deeper understanding Physical Behaviour Thoughts and feelings Experience Talents Personality Values & beliefs Results Behaviour Feelings Thoughts Beliefs Decisions Interpretation Experiences Feelings Perceptions Prejudices Anxieties Assumption s Attitudes Mindset Thinking styles Beliefs
  18. 18. Changing behaviour – coaching tool Physical Behaviour Thoughts and feelings Experience Talents Personality Values & beliefs Results Behaviour Feelings Thoughts Beliefs Decisions Interpretation Experiences What result would you like to change? What is the specific behaviour that is leading to those results? What feelings might be leading to those behaviours? What thoughts might be leading to those feelings? What beliefs might be leading to those thoughts? What decision did you make about yourself, others or the situation that might be leading to those beliefs? What assumptions did you make about current or previous experiences that led to such decisions? What assumptions, beliefs, decision could be more useful to achieve the results you want? What thoughts, feelings, behaviours would this results in? How would this impact on your results in future?
  19. 19. What we attend to and intend to become reality
  20. 20. Power of the Spirit (SQ) Purpose, Vision, Values and goals Aligning body, emotions, mind, spirit Intuition and inspiration Power of the Emotions (EQ) E-motion=energy in motion Letting go baggage Emotional intelligence Working with the Inner child Power of the Mind (IQ) Power of subconscious, thoughts and words Victim to victor Power of Choice Achieving goals PERSONAL EMPOWERMENT Power of the Physical (PQ) Purpose of the body Body messages Harnessing energy Health and balance - 23 -(c) World Alive 2010 Aware Conscious response Unaware Unconscious response Choices No Choice Optimised Limited Experiences VICTOR VICTIM Results Behaviour Feelings Thoughts Beliefs Decisions Interpretation
  21. 21. TO Victor Courage Collaboration (win-win) Action Self-confidence Committed Effective Responsive Purposeful FROM Victim Fear Competition (win-lose) Procrastination Low self-esteem Uncommitted Ineffective Reactive Lack of clarity/direction Shift happens …

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