Once Upon a time, there was a man named Ben Cartwright, and he had a dreamto be a famous horse trainer, build a ranch empire, and raise an upstanding family,Well two out of three ain’t bad. Quick recap, this is an Uglacy, it’s a legacy strivingto get ugly in 10 generations or less. Legacies are sim playing without cheats, rulescan be found by looking up Pinstar. Ben’s family is currently on generation 2, so youmight want to read the prior chapters first, or not, your choice…
Ben had a set of twins, there was Hoss Cartwright, who like his father wants tobe a great horseman. Hoss loves the outdoors, is a disciplined snob, and anequestrian. All he wants to do is ride horses in his brand new pink starred saddle…Why this saddle seems to be the default choice of EA is beyond me, but moving on…
Ben’s daughter is Victoria Cartwright, who is insane, athletic, lucky, and a computerwhiz.“How long do I have to sit on this creature?”Just long enough for me to snap a photo. Because her upbringing has sucked sobadly, I have been unable to choose the family trait, equestrian for her as of yet.
And lastly, was Little Joe Cartwright, who is artistic, and terribly neglected.Immediately following his birth, Ben and his wife, Dorothy, fled town on a“vacation” and left the teen siblings to raise him.“It’s ok, I have BoBo.”BoBo was probably the only reason social services didn’t take this kid.
Speaking of Ben’s lovely wife…“I like cookies, do you like cookies?”She has the hots for this man maid, and rolls wants like skinny dipping withhim.Yeah, right, Dorothy. Dream on.
Because Dorothy and Ben were practically non-existent for Little Joe’supbringing, they come back just in time to see him become a child.And he is the first Cartwright child to grow up well, I could have actuallypicked his trait, if this wasn’t a legacy. He grew up well probably because theyweren’t around. (That and the swing, my secret baby weapon of choice).
Oh my…“What? I’m totally buffed.”Little Joe gets excitable as a trait. Well isn’t that special?
I thought (hoped) that Dorothy’s mothering skills would improve in time, butshe seems to hate her young.“Why do you live here again?!”“I’m your SON!”
Her favorite pastime is running up behind the kids and scaring thebeejeebies out of them.“Booo! Hahaha!”Why her relationship with her kids is tanking is beyond me *rolls eyes*.
The first day of school, and Little Joe misses the bus.“What?! I figured no one would notice if I went to school. They never noticed mebefore!”
Meanwhile, Victoria begins the hunt for an ugly spouse.Ooh, ugly looking derelict at 10:00!
Sam Robles, you hunka, hunka of ugly, you. Bonaza!!!“Howdy, ma’am.”
I leave Victoria on free will to chat him up and the next thing I know she’stelling him ghost stories.“Deeep within the crypt, hidden was the mummy of death, muhahaha…”Whatever works.
That was when I noticed that instead of jumping in the pool, everyone was swimmingin the fountain instead… but hey, that’s ok, right? So I leave Victoria keep telling herlame ghost stories.
“Did you know that Samara Uglacy became a criminal?”“Hee, hee you don’t say. And she got black goggles, awesome!”
Meanwhile, back to the idiot committee swimming in thefountain,“Oh my, I’m tired…”“So I am, where’s the ladder to the pool?”Oh crap…
Victoria, I think you better go…“Why, I’m taking an evening swim.”In your formal wear? Gads. Well I think we need to get off this lot, pronto.There’s a bit of a problem.
Great, the locals are drowning in the fountain. Hopefully they will re-setonce we leave the lot, or we’re have a new graveyard where the communitypool use to be.
“How dare you ask me for homework help?!”“But Pa, I just don’t understand them number things.”
“Fools, the lot of them. Why if I could just rob the Appaloosa Plains FirstNational Bank, we’d be set for life! Must be a way I could tunnel myway across town… muhaha.”Side note: Love interest (Women) on Bonanza or Big Valley were either criminals or shot in theend. You would think the town would catch on to this and never get engaged to a Cartwright orBarkley. It was the kiss of death.
“It’s ok BoBo. I can bring you to life, I know I can! I don’t need this stupidfamily.”By the way, the potion to turn the imaginary friend is a big pain in the butt. Ittook for flipping ever!!!
Victoria’s lifetime want is to adopt 6 pets, so we start out with Bella, a cute,little bulldog who is hydrophobic.“Be a good doggie, or I’ll squirt you with the hose, hee, hee, hee.”
Ben wanders aimlessly at night in his old age, but usually ends uploving on Athena. She is now old as the hills, and I expect the grimreaper any day.
Speaking of old…“What was that?”I said, speaking of old…“I can’t hear you, you need to speak up!”
“MY mood sucks and my homework ain’t done, I don’t see the point to this. Andwhyaren’t there ever any other kids on this bus? What happened to them?”They didn’t do their homework.“Wh..what?”
“NO Bobo, I do not want to socialize anymore. Geesh, you’re so clingy.I’m trying to get a potion here to turn you real.”“Just one hug, Little Joe.”“NO!”
“Happy Birthday, Little Joe!!!”“I’d like to thank my mother, and my father, for making this possible, and mybrother and my sister, for actually raising me, and Bobo, for keeping mefrom social isolation…”“Just blow out the dang candles, kid, we ain’t got all day!”
“Well that was a let down.”You’re telling me, I was hoping for more ugly then that. Little Joe here is artistic,excitable, disciplined, and a hopeless romantic. He wants to be the Ark Builder andhave 2 cats, 2 dogs, birds, lizards, turtles, rodents, snakes, butterflies, and beetles.And he likes hot pink. Oh boy. Have we got the perfect saddle for you.
But that’s not all, are we ready for some more birthday fun!”Also growing up today, Hoss and Victoria, step right up!“Do we have to?”You get free cake!
“Hmmm, what should I wish for?”Come on Hoss, sometime today.
Hoss grows up wearing a western ensemble he styled himself. He randomlygets one more trait, ‘great kisser’ to add to his already amazing personality.“That’s right ladies, the Hoss man is in the house.”He looks like daddy and therefore is too cute to win the heirship. Sorry Hoss.
Not to be outdone, Victoria sparkles with the Birthday fairy dust.Note her handsome, soon to be husband in the midst, laughingrandomly.
Victoria finally allows me to choose one family trait for her, so we addthe equestrian trait.“Hmmf, now I can finally like riding horses.”And Victoria looks the most…erm, physically challenged, so she will take theheirship.
Seriously, dude, you do not have any room to talk.
Little Joe gets right to work working on Bobo’s potion…Bobo patiently waits. Stalking Little Joe the whole time, to the point that Little Joewants to be enemies with Bobo. These imaginary friends get a bit creepy as timegoes on. Poor Joe can’t even take a bath in peace.
Little Joe works in his meth lab everyday, working on that special potion for BoBoI have him drink some of them but they really don’t seem to do all that much. He’s become a regular potion junkie.
Victoria works on her soon to be husband… Sam Robles. Only there’s one problem.“I love food, lots of food. My wife’s a great cook.”“Your what?!”Oh Twallan’s Mod, what have you done to me?
That’s right, Sam married Janette Fox-Robles, who I think is possiblyrelated to him, and the illegitimate child of Gage Uglacy. Oh boy,on the plus side, they will throw some ugly babies, but on the negative side,this makes courting him a lot harder.
So we need a Plan B. Meet the town vampire.Only he’s ugly, which is against everything in the vampirecode book.
Wasting no time, Victoria invites him over to be “friends”.She immediately puts all the moves on him, we need to get an ugly baby going here.
“Oh finally, an ugly man I can call my own!!!”
“Erm what? Sorry darling, but I’m married. I just came over here because I figuredyou would make a good midnight snack.”“Married?! Why are all the ugly guys taken?!”“Well, because we are in demand…wait, did you say ugly?”
After literal hours of seducing Mr. Faithful Vampire, who should stroll byjust in time to ruin the “relax ” option.“La dee la dee, dum, anyone want a hug?”Grrrrrr. Bobo you are so on my crap list right now.
“Bobo knows what you did… oh Bobo is so disappointed.”“Beat it clown face. An heir’s got to do what an heir’s got to do.”By the way, we have no pool, Victoria’s choice of outfits are her own, and I’ve given upand leave her pick her misfit outfits. If she wants to sleep in a bikini, well who am I tostifle her … insanity.
“Hi, Sam, yes, well I was wondering if you could come by this evening, you know,I could just use a friend to talk to. No, no, just leave the wife at home. I need to see youalone.”
So he brings his kid! Oh for the love of boolprop, and that shirt, don’t go all out there Sam.Pickings are slim in this town, I’m telling you.
“What are these flowers for?”“Because we’re friends, Sam. Can’t a friend give another friend flowers?”“Well, gee, I guess so.”
“Oh Sam, what would I do without a good friend like you.”“Actually I barely know you… but okay, I guess a hug isalright.”
“Wow, sometimes I look at the stars, and think what am I doing here? What’s my purpose,who am I? What happens when we die? Is there life out there?”“Yeah, yeah, all deep thoughts there, Sam. Want to ditch the toddler and check out mybedroom?”
“I’m not getting it, you want me to come over here to see yourbedroom?”“I’m like the village bicycle, Sam.”“You don’t look like a bicycle. Does the village have a bicycle?”“Sam, do I have to spell this out for you?!”
Timing is everything with the Sims… and timing always sucks for me!Right when Sam might have been getting the message…“Daddy, oh nooo, my daddy just dropped dead.”Ben gets even with me, screwing up Victoria’s night of seduction. It’s not like she’s going tobe in the mood now.
“Well, I guess I’m not getting all those creativity pointsnow.”
“Erm, can you get your horse out of my way, here… “Moe makes a last ditch attempt to save Ben from the Grim Reaper.
“Ben, oh Ben. What am I going to do without you.”Dorothy does take it quite hard and runs out to the barn and hangs out with thehorses, maybe to be closer to Ben. Or steal their apples, it is Dorothy after all.
Ben Cartwright, he built the Ponderosa, achieved his lifetime want, topping thehorse career, and left a bunch of money and his crazy family behind. All in all, a decent sim.Who knocked that trash can over and ruined my house view! Grrr.
Oddly enough, Athena has outlived Ben, and she takes it the hardest, refusing to eat.Nothing we do seems to improve her mood. She must be 180 in horse years.
“And you are sure this is safe, Master Joe?”“Just drink it Bobo, no one can handle your creepiness anymore.”
“Woah, this is some good stuff.”“Yeah, well I haven’t been working in that lab since I was eight years old for nothing.”
Ok, so maybe the creepy factor is still there. I was hoping Bobo would bereally ugly, but from what I’ve seen of Imaginary Friends that turn real,they are usually good looking. So I didn’t really bank on that.
Life has to go on, and finally Victoria is able to seduce Sam, never mindthat he is nearly 80 years old now and even uglier. Maybe she just misses daddy. Ick.
Victoria also has a brief fling with Count Ugly.“Take it in, sweetheart, this is the way a real vampirestruts.”“Can you stop with that walk, please.”
“Great, he’s a hairy vampire too, this is just getting better and better.”
You don’t say…Not like she’s sleeping with two married men.
Meanwhile, Hoss finally decides to move out on his own.“Well I don’t want to be here when my sister starts popping babiesout.”
I give Bobo a new look, because we need a farm hand.
Apparently, Count Ugly felt it was his duty to make Bobo feel better.“It’s okay that you’re different. Look at me, I was different too, and see howawesome I am now.”“You’re making me feel worse, dude.”
“Victoria! You’re pregnant!”“Yeah, right, like you didn’t see that one coming.”“Whose the daddy?!”That’s a good question.
“Whose your daddy, huh kiddo… is it Count Ugly, or Sam the Hobbit?”“Stop it Joe. You’re just going to have to wait till the next chapter, like everyone else.”
Say what?! Well that bites.Until next time, happy simming!