Why You Should Support




       Bryan Fantana

      Thomas Jefferson

       May 12, 2010
Summary

       The purpose of this report is to clearly outline the importance of The Official Moon Base

Party of the Un...
Table of Contents

Summary                                            ii

Table of Contents (You are here)                ...
What’s all the fuss about?

       Over fifty years ago, Vice President Hubert Humphrey, Jr. looked into the clear

August...
Figure 1. A model of the proposed Moon Base. This diagram depicts the Moon Base
   after its inevitable hostile takeover b...
What will it be like on the Moon?

       It is hard to say what the Moon will be like. No one has ever been there [1].

H...
What’s with the Moon Base Party?

       To fuel the Moon Base Movement, we have created The Official Moon Base

Party of ...
Conclusions

          We have arrived at the end of this report. It was a difficult journey. We’ve

laughed. We’ve cried....
Appendix A: Stuff I couldn’t fit in the report

       This appendix highlights some import figures and trends relating to...
Figure A2. Success of America v. Getting a Moon Base. This clear, positive correlation
speaks for itself.




Figure A3. R...
Figure A4. Temperature-entropy graph for two power cycles. Unfortunately, entropy still
exists on the Moon.




Figure A5....
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Why You Should Support OMBPUSA

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Why You Should Support OMBPUSA

  1. 1. Why You Should Support Bryan Fantana Thomas Jefferson May 12, 2010
  2. 2. Summary The purpose of this report is to clearly outline the importance of The Official Moon Base Party of the United States of America. First, we examine the history of the Moon and the importance of the Moon Base. As we shall see, the Moon Base offers many great advantages for the United States should we invest the time and resources into building it. Next, we shall look at what it might be like for the first inhabitants of the Moon Base. It’s difficult to say for sure what will happen once construction begins on the Moon Base, but there are theories. Then, we focus on the Moon Base Party and why America needs us now more than ever. Finally, we conclude by going home and eating cake. ii
  3. 3. Table of Contents Summary ii Table of Contents (You are here) iii What’s all the fuss about? 1 Why a Moon Base? 1 What will it be like on the Moon? 3 What’s with the Moon Base Party? 4 Conclusions 5 Appendix A: Stuff I couldn’t fit in the report 6 References 9 iii
  4. 4. What’s all the fuss about? Over fifty years ago, Vice President Hubert Humphrey, Jr. looked into the clear August sky and discovered the Moon. Since that day, man has dreamed of going there and building a large military compound/vacation resort. The Official Moon Base Party of the United States of America has one goal: to boost support for this Moon Base Initiative. If America hopes to continue to be a world leader and superpower, it needs to build a base on the Moon. A military compound/vacation resort provides many great benefits, including improvements to domestic security and a boost in the financial sector. Settling the lunar terrain will not be easy, but it is a task we must undertake. There may be some resistance to this idea, which is why we have created The Official Moon Base Party of the United States of America. The Moon Base Party will spearhead the Moon Base Movement and fight for the rights of babies everywhere. Why a Moon Base? A military compound/vacation resort on the moon resolves many issues facing America and the rest of the world. Weaponry on the lunar surface would greatly improve homeland security. Let’s say one day Chile decided to get all up in our business and started to pick a fight. Any potential standoff would end immediately once we remind them of the giant laser cannons hovering above them. This also helps the rest of the world by reminding them who’s the boss around these parts. A model of the potential Moon Base is shown in Figure 1.
  5. 5. Figure 1. A model of the proposed Moon Base. This diagram depicts the Moon Base after its inevitable hostile takeover by Martians. But the Moon Base will have more than just military benefits. Constructing the lunar facility will require financial investment, which will boost the nation’s economy. Building the structure will be accomplished through cheap illegal labor, which will take care of the country’s immigration problem. Also, the completed Moon Base will double as a tourist attraction and a source of merchandizing dollars. We’ll build a big statue of Benjamin Franklin fighting a polar bear and sell all sorts of related memorabilia. The public will not be able to resist the Moon Base Gift Shop. 2
  6. 6. What will it be like on the Moon? It is hard to say what the Moon will be like. No one has ever been there [1]. However, we do have ideas. Figure 2 is an artist’s rendition of what the lunar surface might be like. Some early reports suggest the Moon may not have an atmosphere. Jon Miller and his assistants over in the research department are currently working on this minor technical detail and will have a solution before the first phase of construction begins. Hopefully. We do know once the Moon Base is built the inhabitants will have two main jobs. Some will remain ready in the event the lunar cannons are called upon to defend the country. The rest will entertain tourists flocking to the moon. This means the first pioneers of the lunar surface will be missile silo technicians and carnival workers. Figure 2. Artist’s rendition of what the lunar surface might be like. Note the chocolate river and paddle boat are already present on the moon. 3
  7. 7. What’s with the Moon Base Party? To fuel the Moon Base Movement, we have created The Official Moon Base Party of the United States of America. This group of brave men and women raise awareness for the Moon Base and its importance for babies around the world. The interrelations between babies and the Moon Base are complicated, but one thing is known for certain: not supporting the Moon Base Party is equivalent to hating babies. See Appendix A for more details. In addition to spreading the word about babies and the Moon Base, the Moon Base Party also stands as a satire of the modern political system. The completely over-the-top humor of our group reminds people it is okay to laugh at the ridiculousness of the political process. One day some poor student, fresh out of an engineering test, will see one of our campaign posters or overhear members of the group talking about moon-based laser cannons defending armies of babies from global warming and that guy will laugh hysterically for a few minutes. We will have made the rest of his day a little better. We are giving back to the community, one absurd statement at a time. 4
  8. 8. Conclusions We have arrived at the end of this report. It was a difficult journey. We’ve laughed. We’ve cried. And now you understand the necessity of The Official Moon Base Party of the United States of America. We want to push the Moon Base issue, but at the same time be as absurd as possible and remind everyone to laugh every once in awhile. By the way, I didn’t forget about the cake. Figure 3. Delicious cake. References 1. “Moon.” Wikipedia.org. 1 Feb. 2008. <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moon> 5
  9. 9. Appendix A: Stuff I couldn’t fit in the report This appendix highlights some import figures and trends relating to babies, America, and The Official Moon Base Party of the United States of America that I was unable to place in the body of the report. You may find some of these figures shocking and disturbing. Viewer discretion is advised. Figure A1. Love for the Moon Base v. Love for Babies. This clear, positive correlation speaks for itself. 6
  10. 10. Figure A2. Success of America v. Getting a Moon Base. This clear, positive correlation speaks for itself. Figure A3. Results from a 2008 poll asking “How important is the Moon Base to you?” Overall the population strongly supports America building the Moon Base. 7
  11. 11. Figure A4. Temperature-entropy graph for two power cycles. Unfortunately, entropy still exists on the Moon. Figure A5. Campaign sticker. Please photocopy and distribute at family gatherings. Note the sticker is not actually adhesive and therefore it will require you to use tape. 8

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