How to Persevere


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How to Persevere

  1. 1. Why People Overcome Obstacles and HowBy Brian Patrick Jensen (All Rights Reserved 2012)
  2. 2. Introduction to perseverancePerseverance is…achieving positivegrowth by overcomingadversity.
  3. 3. Introduction to perseverancePerseverance…is a process of choicesand actions, not apersonality trait.
  4. 4. Introduction to perseveranceApplicationWrite out a brief description ofthe problem, crisis or challengeyou now wish to overcome“I am newly deaf in a hearing world and I feelisolated and alone. I just lost my job. I am worriedabout supporting my family. My future livelihoodis very uncertain.”
  5. 5. 5 things resilient people do1. Believe growth is a choice2. Stare down hard reality3. Find a higher meaning4. Visualize the extraordinary5. Take specific action
  6. 6. 1.) Believe growth is a choice We do NOT control the “External” world All other people Time and events Economic pressures Medical diagnoses Weather and seasons Harm and tragedy Hitting the lottery
  7. 7. 1.) Believe growth is a choice We DO control the “Internal” self Reactions to Externals Decisions, beliefs & values Plans (not outcomes!) Self-awareness Desire, passion & energy Skills and learning Behaviors and actions
  8. 8. 1.) Believe growth is a choice We can “Influence” the External world It is ineffective to focus on things you do not control Focus on the External DECREASES Influence Focus on the Internal INCREASES Influence
  9. 9. 1.) Believe growth is a choice Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved
  10. 10. 1.) Believe growth is a choiceApplicationWrite two lists concerning yourcurrent challenge:I do NOT Control I DO Control•That I’m deaf now •How I communicate•I am unemployed •How I do job search•Job market •Asking for help•Bias not to hire deaf •My personal integrity•Technology limits •Learning new skills
  11. 11. 2.) Stare down hard reality
  12. 12. 2.) Stare down hard reality The optimism trap Resilient people keep things real We are hard-wired unrealistic* Optimism: Denial in disguise*People hugely underestimate chances of getting divorced,losing a job and being diagnosed ill while overestimatingpersonal achievement, family fortune and life span.-Time Magazine: The Science of Optimism
  13. 13. 2.) Stare down hard realityInventory cold hard factsI lost all hearing; it’s permanentMiss my children’s voicesGet exponentially less informationI feel isolated; talk to less peopleInterpreting visual cues is exhaustingLip reading seems impossibleGetting a job is far more difficultYearn for sounds of music, nature, etc.Depleting all my money
  14. 14. 2.) Stare down hard reality Grieve with passion  Holding back is unhealthy  Sharing pain helps you & others  Process toward healingSadness, anger and depression are sane reactions to greatloss. Grieving is a healthy process with stages that shouldbe experienced, not denied.- Coping with Grief and Loss:
  15. 15. 2.) Stare down hard realityAsk for specific help  Admit you need help (Acceptance) Do not assume they know  Show exactly what to do  Never beg, apologize or demand  Reinforce positive efforts
  16. 16. 2.) Stare down hard realityApplicationInventory all the cold hard facts ofyour situation. Select 1 item anddescribe specifically how anotherperson can help you with it. “I can ask my daughters to text or email me a quick summary of their day, every day. Then I can keep a running journal of communications between my kids and their Dad!”
  17. 17. 3.) Find a higher meaning
  18. 18. 3.) Find a higher meaning Nature is more vivid Insight into human behavior Better comprehension via captions Keener of others’ true feelings New friends who understand Inspired by others’ feedback Better at sharing my heart Closer to my children
  19. 19. 3.) Find a higher meaningApplicationWrite your own list of lessonslearned or desirable outcomes thatactually occurred as a result of yourdifficulty.Caution: List only firm convictions, facts or actualevents. This is not a wish list or ambiguous hopethat something good will come. It must be real.
  20. 20. 4.) Visualize the extraordinarySee higher purpose to currentstruggles via a concrete vision:  Visualization techniques (as in athletes)  Imagine specifically “Dreams Awake”  Set concrete goals for future
  21. 21. 4.) Visualize the extraordinary
  22. 22. 4.) Visualize the extraordinaryApplicationImagine a future of happiness andaccomplishment beyond* yourcurrent struggles. Be very specificand write it down. Dream big!*Note: “Beyond” does not mean “without” if your currentproblem is permanent. I didn’t visualize to be cured of mydeafness; rather to use my hearing loss to inspire othersthat they can overcome their struggles too.
  23. 23. 5.) Take Specific action Memorized Sarah’s speech Wrote daughters a poem Started new blog Took sign language classes Contacted HLAA / ALDA Dusted off telescope Started networking Obtained great job references Created this presentation!
  24. 24. 5.) Take specific actionApplicationWrite your own list of actions thatyou can do right now to either dealwith your problem or move towardyour future vision. Then do it!Add to your list to complete the ApplicationExercises from this training within a week!
  25. 25. 5 things resilient people do1. Believe growth is a choice2. Stare down hard reality3. Find a higher meaning4. Visualize the extraordinary5. Take specific action
  26. 26. Be inspired every day!
  27. 27. Perseverance: Why People Overcome Obstacles and How By Brian Patrick Jensen (All Rights Reserved 2012)