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Finally Friday 5-13-2011


Selected news and photographs.

Selected news and photographs.

Published in Entertainment & Humor
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  • 1.
  • 2. The cost of bin Laden: $3 trillion over 15 yearsNational Journal – Fri May 6, 8:12 am ETThe most expensive public enemy in American history died Sunday from two bullets.As we mark Osama bin Laden's death, what's striking is how much he cost our nation—and how little we've gained from our fight against him. By conservative estimates, bin Laden cost the United States at least $3 trillion over the past 15 years, counting the disruptions he wrought on the domestic economy, the wars and heightened security triggered by the terrorist attacks he engineered, and the direct efforts to hunt him down.What do we have to show for that tab? Two wars that continue to occupy 150,000 troops and tie up a quarter of our defense budget; a bloated homeland-security apparatus that has at times pushed the bounds of civil liberty; soaring oil prices partially attributable to the global war on bin Laden's terrorist network; and a chunk of our mounting national debt, which threatens to hobble the economy unless lawmakers compromise on an unprecedented deficit-reduction deal.Perhaps the biggest economic silver lining from our bin Laden spending, if there is one, is the accelerated development of unmanned aircraft. That's our $3 trillion windfall, so far: Predator drones. "We have spent a huge amount of money which has not had much effect on the strengthening of our military, and has had a very weak impact on our economy," says Linda Bilmes, a lecturer at Harvard University's John F. Kennedy School of Government who coauthored a book on the costs of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars with Nobel Prize-winning economist Joseph Stiglitz.
  • 3. Osama bin Laden dead: hi-tech secret may end up in ChinaThere are growing fears that top-secret stealth technology taken from the helicopter that crashed during the raid on the home of Osama bin Laden could be smuggled into China and cause a diplomatic row.   May 6, 2011The TelegraphIt has become clear that US special forces used a previously unseen stealth helicopter for the mission in order to evade Pakistani radar or being heard on the final approach to the home of the al-Qaeda terrorist. The American troops used thermite grenades to destroy the helicopter’s main body but its rear section was left intact and taken away by the Pakistani military soon after the night raid on Monday. It is feared that if Islamabad refuses a request from Washington for the return of the tail section that the issue could turn into a diplomatic rift. Relations are already fraught after the Seal Team Six raid entered Pakistan airspace apparently without permission and after the government was accused in some quarters of “harbouring” bin Laden. It is believed that US Special Operations Command decided to give the operation the greatest chance of surprise by using the untested helicopters, probably modified Blackhawks. Neighbours have said they did not hear the helicopters until they were directly overhead at 1am. It is likely that the operation was launched from a special forces base inside the Afghanistan border. Their destination, Abbottabad, would have been at the limit of their range, although Blackhawks can be refuelled mid-flight. One of the aircraft crashed during the raid after it is thought the engines developed a problem. Experts believe that the shape and design of the aircraft is similar to that of the RAH 66 Comanche helicopter, a project that was scrapped after $7 billion [£4.26 billion] was spent on eight prototypes. However, it now appears that the Americans might have adapted some of the technology and bolted it on to a Blackhawk. The modified tail boom would have reduced noise and appears to be covered in a hi-tech material used on stealth fighters.
  • 4. Swiss "Jetman" flies over Grand Canyon with his wingsuit Swiss "Jetman" Yves Rossy completed an eight-minute flight along the Grand Canyon on Saturday, one day later than planned and away from the media spotlight.Leaping from a helicopter about 8,000 feet above the canyon floor, Rossy picked up speed and fired up his jet-wing, which he steers using his body as a kind of rudder/aileron. During the eight minute flight, he startled onlookers by passing over the rim only 200 feet above their heads, hitting speed of up to 190 miles per hour. During the demonstration Rossy hit speeds of 190 miles per hour before powering down his engines and parachuting safely to the canyon floor. 
  • 5. New High Tech Taser being used in Polk County 10:31 AM, May 9, 2011  |   Bartow, Florida - There's a new taser in town that looks like something out of a James Bond movie. It packs a powerful punch and it stops the bad guys in their tracks longer than a stun gun can. Polk County Sheriff's Office SWAT team members say the taser has already saved lives. Polk County Sheriff's Office is one of only about two dozen law enforcement agencies in Florida using the powerful new TASER Extended Range Electronic Projectile (XREP). It's fired from a 12 gauge shotgun from up to a hundred feet away. It's 14 grams, has wing like fins that spread open as it takes flight.  It has painful probes and pins that stick into your body. It packs all the powerful punch and stopping power of a stun gun and is enclosed in a 12 gauge shotgun shell and when it hits you it locks up your muscles.John Angleton is the taser coordinator for the sheriff's office and says, "It's the most excruciating pain imaginable. It locks everything up. For one you cannot move. You can breathe because you're screaming at the top of your lungs." The TASER XREP keeps a suspect down for 20 seconds instead of 5 seconds which is how long the traditional taser keeps a suspect down. It has to be fired from a closer range within 21 feet.While the rounds cost a hundred dollars apiece Swat team members will tell you that the lives they've already saved is priceless.The TASER XREP is only available to law enforcement agencies and not the general public. While the cartridges are expensive for the Polk County Sheriff's Office only their SWAT team is allowed to use them.
  • 6. Fourth marijuana conviction gets Slidell man life in prisonFriday, May 06, 2011, 7:58 AMCornell Hood II got off with probation after three marijuana convictions in New Orleans.He didn't fare too well after moving to St. Tammany Parish, however. A single such conviction on the north shore landed the 35-year-old in prison for the rest of his life.State Judge Raymond S. Childress punished Hood under Louisiana's repeat-offender law in his courtroom in Covington on Thursday. A jury on Feb. 15 found the defendant guilty of attempting to possess and distribute marijuana at his Slidell home, court records show.Hood moved from eastern New Orleans to the Slidell area after he admitted to separate charges of distribution of marijuana and possession with intent to distribute marijuana on Dec. 18, 2009, in Orleans Parish Criminal District Court. He received a suspended five-year prison sentence and five years' of probation for each -- which was precisely the same penalty he got in that court after pleading guilty to possessing and intending to distribute marijuana on Feb. 22, 2005.When Hood switched homes, he also requested a new probation officer based in St. Tammany. Authorities granted the wish, and the officer, Dustin Munlin, drove to Hood's place for a routine visit on Sept. 27, 2010. Munlin found nearly two pounds of pot throughout the house, according to court records. He alerted Sheriff's Office deputies. They arrested Hood, who apparently shared the King's Point house with his mother and young son.Prosecutors later charged him with one count of possession with intent to distribute marijuana.At Hood's one-day trial, the evidence presented by the prosecution included a digital scale and about a dozen bags that had contained marijuana before being seized from the house, testimony showed. Deputies also found $1,600 in cash and a student-loan application with Hood's name on it inside of a night stand.Jurors deliberated for less than two hours and convicted Hood of a reduced charge, which usually carries no more than 15 years' imprisonment. Assistant District Attorney Nick Noriea Jr. then used Hood's past convictions on Thursday to argue that he was a career criminal worthy of a severe punishment.Drug offenders in the state are subject to life imprisonment after being convicted three or more times of a crime that carries a sentence exceeding 10 years.
  • 7. 60-day jail sentence for man who grew marijuana to help cancer-stricken wifeMay 06, 2011 9:57 AM EDT   UPDATE: The 69-year-old who grew marijuana to help his cancer-stricken wife was sentenced to jail on Friday morningGary Burton must serve 60-days behind bars for growing two pot plants in Chippewa Lake. He will also serve 30 days house arrest and will undergo drug testing for two years.Burton says he was growing the plants for medicinal purposes, to help ease his wife's pain due to her breast cancer treatments.
  • 8. Saudi men decry mall bansMay 11, 2011 at 4:09 PMJEDDAH, Saudi Arabia, May 11 (UPI) -- Young single men in Saudi Arabia are crying foul over a shopping mall policy banning them unless they are accompanied by a female family member.The men said shopping in the country is difficult due to the policy, which is designed to protect solo female shoppers from harassment, Arab News reported Wednesday."Whenever I want to go and buy anything for myself, I have to call my mother or one of my sisters to join," said Adel Sahhaf, 26. "It's sad that I can't just walk into a shopping center and buy whatever I need. I have been facing refusal from many security guards to enter the mall, even in the early morning when no one is around.“Jaber Abdullah, a security officer at a Jeddah shopping center, said the policy only applies to young men because they are seen as more likely to harass women.Um Said, a 58-year-old mother, said the policy is unfair."I just hate it when my son forces me to accompany him to the shopping center just to get one item and leave again," she said. "On the other hand, I have to take him with me when I want to shop just to avoid harassment too."
  • 9. 2011-05-08 - AHN News Space Adventures to fly tourists to the moon  VIENNA, VA, UNITED STATES (AHN) -- Space Adventures, a space tourism company, has announced that one customer has signed up for a rare one-week trip around the moon costing $150 million per passenger. The flight is set for launch within three to five years once another passenger signs the contract for the second seat of a Russian Soyuz spacecraft, which the Virginia-based company currently uses to take tourists to the International Space Station (ISS). A third seat will be for the lunar tourism flight commander from Russia.Under the flight itinerary, the tourists aboard the Soyuz will meet and dock with an orbiting unmanned rocket, which will propel the spacecraft to the moon, according to Space Adventures president Tom Shelley. An option is to bring the tourists first to the ISS before rendezvousing with the rocket, he said. The tourists will not land on the moon. They will be 62 miles from the lunar surface affording them a close up view and circumnavigation of the moon. The tourists will also see the incredible Earthrise. Only 24 people have seen the Earth rising from the moon, most of them by astronauts. Shelley did not identify the first customer who signed up last year.
  • 10. New Army Ammo Puts Mean in ‘Green’May 05, 2011Military.com|by Christian Lowe  ABERDEEN, Md. --- Tell a Soldier he's loading "environmentally friendly" ammo into his M4 mag and he might be skeptical about whether it's as effective as its lead counterpart.But Army officials here say the new M855A1 Enhanced Performance Round -- with its steel core instead of a toxic lead slug -- is far more effective than the current round, doubling the effective range and for the first time giving M4-wielding Joes the ability to penetrate barriers once reserved for higher-caliber rounds.Read more about the Army's new M855A1 ammo in Kit Up! "There's a stigma among Soldiers about something that's 'green,' " said Lt. Col. Jeff Woods, the Army's small caliber ammunition product manager. "This is a clear case where making something environmentally friendly works for us.“Leveraging the science of 120mm tank rounds, Army engineers at Picatinny Arsenal, N.J. designed a 5.56mm rifle cartridge that incorporates a jacketed copper slug pushing a sharpened steel "penetrator."  Testers showed during a May 4 demonstration here that the round can punch through quarter-inch steel armor out to 300 yards with ease."You normally wouldn't even think of a guy with a 5.56 going against a target with this kind of armor," said the Army Research Lab's Jim Newill, who lead the team that developed the M855A1 round. "Now we've more than doubled the ability to perforate [armored] targets."
  • 11. Steve McQueen’s 1971 Husqvarna 400 Cross Auction “Don’t you want to be able to say you sold your bike to Steve McQueen?”  That was apparently the line McQueen used at times to convince sellers to offer up their top rides to him.  It is also just another in a long line of examples of why he is the epitome of cool.  You may never get your hands on the ’68 ‘Stang from Bullitt, but now you can own one of the actor’s off-road bikes (assuming you have a lot of spare change in your sofa cushions).  McQueen’s Husqvarna 400 Cross, a bike not for amateur riders (though we assume you wouldn’t be taking it on any joy-rides), is up on the auction block for fans of On Any Sunday or just kick-ass bikes (though we’re assuming if you’re a fan of the latter you’re a fan of the former).  Though it’s traded hands a few times, it has been kept in ‘as last ridden by McQueen’ condition . $50000+
  • 12. Jaguar C-X75: A $1.1 million hybrid production pussycatRay Wert —Jaguar just confirmed today it will build the stunningC-X75 concept car first seen at last year's Paris Motor Show as a highly-exclusive hybrid supercar. How exclusive? It'll cost you $1.1 million just to walk through the dealership doors.The C-X75 concept was designed with the intent to move Jaguar's styling into something new and evolved, reviving the promise of the XJ220two-seat supercar from the 1990s; one vehicle that carriers every engineering resource Jaguar can muster.The design mixed a number of cues from Jaguar's modern lineup, but in shape and proportion resembles the 1966 XJ13 Le Mans prototype, a car Jaguar chief designer Ian Callum tags as "possibly the most beautiful Jaguar ever made.“The production car will become the British marque's most advanced model to date, with performance that will supposedly claw out a 0-to-60 time of just three seconds and a top speed in excess of 200 mph.Sadly, although the concept showed off some trick concept turbine technology that was powered by butterfly tears, the real production car will not feature such magic and mystery.View the galleryInstead of Gummi Berry juice, Jaguar plans to use a small-capacity, highly-boosted internal combustion engine with a "powerful" electric motor at each axle to get the car to bounce here and there and everywhere. How powerful? We have no idea and Jaguar ain't yet saying. So whether that small boosted engine and two electric motors will get it to the claimed 780 HP of the concept is anyone's guess. Only 250 examples will be built, each costing between $1.1 and $1.4 million, depending on market and local taxes. That's a pricey pussycat, but if it looks like what we saw in Paris, then it may very well be worth it.
  • 13. Lamborghini to build world’s most expensive new carWednesday, May 11th, 2011Lamborghini has unveiled the world’s most expensive new car with an eye-watering £1.77 million price tag – but it is not even road legal.The stunning Sesto Elemento is £170,000 more expensive than its closest rival, the BugattiVeyron Super Sport.It can accelerate from 0-62mph (100kph) in less than 2.5 seconds and has a top speed of more than 200mph.But to produce such astonishing speed, Lamborghini has bypassed the normal measures required to make the supercar road legal, making it a millionaire’s track toy.Power will be delivered by a highly-tuned 5.2-litre V10 engine which will develop about 600bhp in a car which weighs less than one tonne.This makes it 550kg less than a Lamborghini Gallardo and 850kg less than the BugattiVeyron Super Sport.Its incredibly low weight is thanks to its carbon fibre body, which is where the name ‘Sesto Elemento’ is derived from with carbon the sixth element in the periodic table.The car was first unveiled as a concept at last year’s Paris Motor Show but bosses at the Italian firm have now given the green light to a limited production.Just 20 of the cars will be built – but it’s unlikely they’ll have any problem selling them.When the Italian car maker announced plans to build its £1 million Reventon concept in 2007, they sold the 35-strong batch in less than one week.Mark Tisshaw, from Autocar, said: ”The Sesto Elemento is a fantastic technical showcase and it’s going to cost an awful lot of money, but Lamborghini will have no shortage of interest.”World’s most expensive new cars:* Lamborghini Sesto Elemento – £1.77 million* BugattiVeyron Super Sport – £1.6 million* Koenigsegg CCXR – £1.5 million* PaganiZonda Roadster F – £1.4 million
  • 14. 2006-11-14 - Headline News  Cruise Offers Beautiful Women To Rich Men (AHN) -- A cruise packed with attractive women is being offered to eligible bachelors this month in Shanghai - but only if their bank accounts are big enough. The cruise is being offered to match men making $250,000 or more with women who must be "attractive in every category," said cruise organizer XuTianli. Twenty men have signed up so far and less than 30 out of 1,000 women who applied have been accepted. Tianli said these men desire women outside the board room as companions. He said, "Rich men are normally very busy, and most of the women they meet are there for work or business, which these men consider to be unsuitable for relationships." The number of wealthy men has increased in China. In fact, Forbes reported that the wealth China's top 400 wealthiest people doubled since last year.
  • 15. Pole dancing seeks an Olympic leg-upExotic dancers want to be part of the Games and stranger things have happened – but why don't we try superinjuncting?Thursday 12 May 2011 REUTERSHaving started out totally sleazy and ended up halfway respectable, pole dancing has travelled in the opposite direction to the Olympic movement. Yet the former is pushing to attract the latter's attention by most unconventional means. Out goes dead-eyed writhing to Donna Summer's She Works Hard For The Money; in comes a petition to London 2012 to feature pole dancing as a test event, with a view to it being elevated to an official Olympic sport for 2016.Will the pole dancers succeed? If past controversies have taught us anything, it's that the best way to entice the International Olympic Committee is to stuff wads of cash into its capacious garter belt, so they are warned they may have to compromise their pole-dancing principles. At the very least they should avail themselves of a corrupt governing body so as to look the part. As for whether they should succeed, I don't see why not.Of course, we can argue all day long about what does and does not constitute a sport, whether tennis is a sport or a game, whether it's a sport if you can have a pint and a fag while playing it, whether gymnastics is just child abuse with points, and so on. But as far as Olympic sports go, that ship has sailed. The masts of said ship are bedecked in rhythmic gymnastics ribbons, and it is crewed by beach volleyballers and the 1996 French synchronised swimming team, who had planned a routine based on the Final Solution.For whatever reason, though, the pole dancers don't go with that line of argument. "Like the horizontal bar," their petition reads, "the vertical bar should have a place in international sport" – a piece of reasoning that exposes one of the flaws in pole dancing's perception of itself. The suspicion is that its current champions, though very skilled, aren't half as good as they think they are, in that any fifth-rate Olympic gymnast who opted to switch discipline would probably obliterate the competition.
  • 16. Jennifer Aniston slips into her underwear for her naughtiest role yetDaily Mail Reporter12th May 2011Jennifer Aniston certainly isn't targeting the family market with her latest film.The actress strips down to her underwear for new movie, Horrible Bosses, before seductively sucking on an iced lolly, then provocatively eating a banana and a hot dog.The actress plays a sex-starved dentist in the movie, which is certainly a new direction from her usual choice of romantic comedy.
  • 17. Police say pot pipe plucked from Fort Pierce resident's 'rear end‘May 10, 2011 7:54 AM Police say John David Hall had this pipe in his rear end. Photo provided by Port St. Lucie police. Maybe John David Hall ran out of room in his pockets. Perhaps storage space at his home was at an extreme premium.  Whatever the reason, the 33-year-old man apparently had a marijuana pipe in his "rear end," according to a recently released Port St. Lucie police report.What could be called the case of the pot pipe in the posterior began about 11:40 p.m. on May 4 as an officer at Southeast Port St. Lucie Boulevard and Southeast Veterans Memorial Parkway reported spotting Hall make an illegal U-turn.The officer stopped Hall and learned he had a violation of probation warrant out of Leon County. Hall was arrested and asked whether he had any drugs, weapons, needles or any illegal items. Hall said no. Before Hall entered the jail, a St. Lucie County Sheriff's deputy made a similar inquiry. Hall said no.Once inside, however, Hall said he had a "pipe." "The deputy asked him what kind of pipe and where it was, the defendant stated it was a marijuana pipe and it was in his rear end," a report states.Residue in the pipe tested positive for cannabis.In addition to the violation of probation charge, Hall, of the 600 block of Ribaut Road in Fort Pierce, was arrested on charges of introduction of contraband into a detention facility and possession of drug paraphernalia. As for the U-turn, he was issued a warning citation.The reports don't state why Hall apparently had the cannabis pipe in his keister.
  • 18. 'I'm NOT a predator': Mormon 'Hummer mom' who slept with her daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend breaks her silenceDaily Mail Reporter6th May 2011A California woman convicted of having sex with two teenage boys, including her daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend, has spoken publicly for the first time about her crimes, insisting she is 'not a predator'.Christine Hubbs, dubbed 'the Hummer mom' for driving teens around in her SUV, was arrested last year on 67 charges related to the relationships.The married mother-of-three received a five-year prison sentence last month and has opened up in a bid to fight allegations she was preying on neighbourhood teens.Convicted: Christine Hubbs was sentenced to five years in prison for having sex with two underage boys but says she doesn't want 'to be portrayed as a predator‘Hubbs, the Mormon wife of a Livermore dentist, was 40 when she got involved with two 14-year-old boys attending her daughter's middle school in 2008.In February, she pleaded guilty to four counts as part of a plea deal, including unlawful sexual intercourse, oral copulation with a person under 16 and two counts of performing a lewd act upon a child. The other charges were dropped.
  • 19. UK NEWSWOMAN DENIES BITING OFF TESTICLES   Maria Topp pleaded not guilty to causing grievous bodily harm to her partner Martin Douglas Friday April 22,2011 A MOTHER yesterday denied biting off her boyfriend’s testicles in a drunken attack.Maria Topp, 43, who has four children, pleaded not guilty to causing grievous bodily harm to her partner, Martin Douglas, 45, who needed emergency surgery to re-attach his genitals.Mr Douglas, a DJ, called 999 in excruciating pain at around 4am and operators struggled to understand what he was saying.The pair had been out drinking prior to the incident on the night of February 18.Paramedics who attended his flat in Newcastle called police and Topp was arrested. Mr Douglas was forced to spend several days in hospital recovering from the alleged attack which also included injuries to his arm. Topp, of Wrekenton, Gateshead, denies the allegations, and defence barrister Caroline Goodwin told Newcastle Crown Court her denial was “absolute”.She added: “The defendant was on her back with the victim straddling her.” Miss Goodwin told the court that she would be instructing a medical expert who would provide detailed evidence.A trial date will be set on May 6 when the case will next be heard.
  • 20. Duluth 'ball slasher' arrested againThe Duluth man known for having a sexual fetish of slashing exercise balls with a knife allegedly attempted to strike again on Sunday. Duluth News Tribune  May 11, 2011 The Duluth man known for having a sexual fetish of slashing exercise balls with a knife allegedly attempted to strike again on Sunday.This time, Christopher Neil Bjerkness, 33, was arrested at Chester Creek Academy, a Duluth school at 714 W. College St., according to Jim Hanson, Duluth police information officer. The school is for children in treatment through Northwood Children’s Services.Bjerkness reportedly gained entry through a window about 1:30 p.m. Sunday into a room used for physical and occupational therapy. As he entered, an alarm was triggered and staff located him in the room shortly thereafter. Bjerkness was compliant and waited with staff members until police arrived, according to Richard Wolleat, president and CEO of Northwood Children’s Services.Inflatable exercise balls were in the room but none were damaged, Hanson said. There was no other damage except to the lock and window used by Bjerkness.He had no connection to the school and had not been there before, Wolleat said.In 2009, Bjerkness was convicted of third-degree burglary after he admitted breaking into the SMDC-Duluth Clinic West building and slashing balls there.He was also convicted of first-degree criminal damage to property in 2005 after getting into the Sports and Health Center at the University of Minnesota Duluth on several occasions and damaging exercise balls. He also admitted at the time to slicing into exercise balls at the SMDC Center for Personal Fitness, the Polinsky Medical Rehabilitation Center and St. Luke’s hospital, according to criminal complaints.Bjerkness is being held pending charges at the St. Louis County Jail.
  • 21. Wis. judge calls defendant ‘gayer than a sweet-smelling jockstrap’May 10, 2011 Before sentencing a former school bus driver to prison for molesting young boys, the judge ridiculed the defendant for claiming to be a heterosexual.“I think you were born gayer than a sweet smelling jock strap,” Judge Philip Kirk of Waupaca told Delton Gorges, 71, before sending him to prison for seven years on counts of sexual assault of a child, repeated sexual assault of a child and two misdemeanour counts of fourth-degree sexual assault. Gorges will serve 15 years of extended supervision after his prison release.Kirk said he believes Gorges was the victim of a homophobic society in the 1940s and 1950s.“No one knew there was a closet to come out of in those days,” the judge said. “You know you had to be very careful, because you could have found your penis floating in the Wolf as walleye bait. It was a terrible life to have to live.”But Kirk added, “I think that if anyone believes that in the last 10 years or 15 years all of a sudden you developed an interest in homosexuality and young boys, then I must have looked ravishing in my prom dress this year.”A video of the judge’s remarks were posted online by Fox 11 WLUK-TV.Although the judge’s rant sounded sympathetic toward gay people, critics told Fox 11 they were concerned that it linked homosexuality with paedophilia.“Sometimes people don’t say the right thing, but they potentially mean well,” said Andrew DeBaker, co-chair of the gay rights group New Pride. “The thing that concerns me is the linking homosexuality, linking being gay with, in this case, child molestation.”Gorges, who drove a school bus for 33 years, pleaded no contest to the charges.
  • 22. Either This Perp Is An Insane Clown Posse Fan Or A Big Panda EnthusiastMay 12, 2011Smoking GunMeet Andrew Davis.The 20-year-old Oklahoma motorist was arrested Tuesday evening after he struck a man with his car, dragged the victim 100 feet, and fled the scene. Davis, pictured in the above mug shot, was charged with felony counts of assault with a deadly weapon and hit-and-run.It is unclear why Davis, who is jailed in lieu of $25,000 bond, was wearing black and white face paint. Though observers could be excused for mistaking Davis for a fan of Insane Clown Posse, whose "Juggalo" followers are partial to similar facial adornment.
  • 23.  6th May, 2011 METROYou must get a job, I want a new penis ZaprianLozanov, a Bulgarian man who had his penis chopped off by his best friend Lyubomir while he was demonstrating his martial arts skills, is to help him get a new job - so he can pay for a new manhood.The painful incident happened at 61-year-old MrLozanov's flat just outside the city of Plovdiv, where the two had been getting hammered for most of the day.MrLozanov's friend LyubomirTodorov, 43, decided it would be a great idea to take a decorative - but very real and very sharp - samurai sword hanging on the wall to demonstrate his flawless control of a weapon while intoxicated.The result was pretty much inevitable, as MrTodorov began swiping wildly with the sword.Our unfortunate victim picks up the story: 'He told me he was a martial arts expert - he was whizzing it around his head.'I went to try and take it off him before he caused an accident - and then he slashed it in front of me.'I thought he'd missed but then I felt a burning pain and collapsed. He'd sliced the sword through my trousers and lopped off my penis.‘Although clearly sad and very unfortunate, the story is also somewhat heartening - because MrLozanov campaigned for his pal's release from prison, after he was given a six-year sentence over the incident.He did have something of an ulterior motive, though - to get MrTodorov back into employment in order to raise the cash to pay for a brand, spanking new chopper. 'People tell me I was noble to get him released but I want him to get a job so he can pay the compensation I am due,' MrLozanov continued.'There is nothing I can do to change what has happened - it's in the past. I just hope now that, by helping him, it will help me.'