Finally Friday

(Mental Floss) -- Work hard, get promoted, succeed in your new post, and eventually you'll start earning the big money. This progression seems like a firmly ingrained part of the American Dream, and it's certainly worked for a lot of people. Michael Ovitz spent $6 million on office renovations, Lakers tickets, and a BMW, among other expenses. However, these steps aren't absolutely necessary to fatten your bank account, as Washington Mutual CEO Alan Fishman learned last week. When WaMu failed and was seized by government regulators, Fishman had been on the job for just 17 days. However, he was contractually guaranteed $11.6 million in cash severance on top of the $7.5 million signing bonus he got for taking the job. Basically, Fishman netted just under $20 million for 17 days of work, which is a pretty nice setup for the head of a collapsing corporation. (In Fishman's defense, it's tough to blame WaMu's failure on his leadership alone; it seems highly unlikely that any CEO, however determined, could crash such a large thrift in just two weeks.)

Earliest reference describes Christ as 'magician' Bowl dated between late 2nd century B.C. and the early 1st century A.D. Wed., Oct. 1, 2008 A team of scientists led by renowned French marine archaeologist Franck Goddio recently announced that they have found a bowl, dating to between the late 2nd century B.C. and the early 1st century A.D., that is engraved with what they believe could be the world's first known reference to Christ. If the word "Christ" refers to the Biblical Jesus Christ , as is speculated, then the discovery may provide evidence that Christianity and paganism at times intertwined in the ancient world. The full engraving on the bowl reads, "DIA CHRSTOU O GOISTAIS," which has been interpreted by the excavation team to mean either, "by Christ the magician" or, "the magician by Christ."

Yard work yields archaeological finds for Seguin man San Antonio Express-News Sept. 28, 2008, 2:02PM SEGUIN — One day this past June, Floyd McKee hauled a load of topsoil from near the bank of the Guadalupe River, on which his property sits, and dumped it on the grass in his yard. "It rained that night, and when I went out in the morning, the yard was covered with spear points," he said. "I got more dirt and sifted it and found a dozen more." Surprised, McKee contacted local archaeologists Bob Everett and Richard Kinz, both of whom soon declared that McKee's property, near Starcke Park, was among the richest Paleo-Indian archaeological finds they had ever seen. On Saturday, they announced the discovery, some of which will be on display next month at the Seguin Heritage Museum for Archaeology Awareness Month. So far, McKee has excavated a trench about 50 feet long, 10 feet wide and 7 feet deep and has found hundreds of spearheads, arrowheads, bones and stone tools. Archaeologists have dated the artifacts and said they could be as old as 11,000 years or as young as 200. The Texas Historical Commission said it plans to send a team to Seguin next month to check out the find. "To be here in the city limits, it's unique," McKee said. "But we don't really know what we've got yet." McKee's wife, Jody McKee, said the couple suspect that their backyard was once an "important trading center." "It was like a Wal-Mart for Paleo-Indians," she said. Other such trading posts have been unearthed in Bastrop and San Marcos. Among the finds on the McKee property so far: rare Andice spear points; Guadalupe bi-face stone woodworking tools, used to build dugout canoes; arrowheads from Oklahoma and Colorado; and cleavers and seashells from the coast. Michelle Hammond, assistant director of the Seguin Heritage Museum, said the facility awaits the artifacts. "We're lucky to have such a collection to display at the museum," she said. The museum is also planning a sort of "artifacts road show" for Oct. 25 and 26, in which people can bring up to three artifacts for archaeologists to examine and identify, she said.

Maoists appoint 'living goddess' The new 'living goddess' wants to be a nurse when she is older Nepal's new Maoist-led government has authorised the appointment of a six-year-old girl to be a "living goddess" in the temple town of Bhaktapur. For centuries "Kumaris" in several towns in the Kathmandu valley were appointed by the head priest of the monarchy. This is the first time the appointment has been carried out by anyone else. The monarchy was abolished after the Maoists, who are atheists, won elections earlier this year. 'Eyelashes like a cow' Deepak Bahadur Pandey, a senior official of the state-run Trust Corporation that selected Shreeya Bajracharya, told Reuters news agency: "The government authorised us to appoint the Kumari and we have done that for the first time." Kumaris must pass ritual tests and have 32 beautiful physical attributes. Shreeya, a farmer's daughter, was chosen for having, among other things, "eyelashes like a cow" and a "voice as soft and clear as a duck", Keshab Bahadur Shrestha, another member of the Trust Corporation, told the AFP news agency.

Actress Heather Locklear was arrested by the California Highway Patrol in September 2008 on suspicion of driving under the influence of prescription drugs. After receiving a call from a motorist who saw the 47-year-old Locklear driving erratically, officers found the TV star parked on the side of a road blocking traffic. She was booked into the Santa Barbara County Jail where she posed for the below mug shot before posting $5000 bail.

Sara Plumby, an Islamic specialist at Christie's, seen behind one of only seven known Fatimid carved rock crystal ewers, at the auction house in London Thursday, Oct. 2, 2008. The ewer, which is hand carved from a single piece of flawless rock crystal, is from the Fatimid Royal Treasury, dating from the 10th to early 11th century AD, is expected to sell for approximately 3 million pounds, US$5.3 million, euro3.8 million. The Faimid rulers conquered Egypt from 960 AD, but by the mid 11th century the state was impoverished and the treasury was sold.

Woman Wearing Cow Suit Arrested CINCINNATI- A Middletown woman is arrested, after chasing children, peeing on a porch, and blocking traffic... all while wearing a cow suit. Police say 32 year old Michelle Allen was chasing children in the 3100 block of Wilbraham, while wearing the cow costume early Monday evening. Allen also reported urinated on a neighbor's front porch. An officer told Allen to go home and stay there for the remainder of the evening. Police were later called to North Verity Avenue, where Allen was allegedly blocking traffic. The arresting officer says Allen smelled of alcohol, slurred her speech, and was belligerent. She also alleged cussed at the officer. Allen is charged with disorderly conduct. LOCAL 12 News

Wife: Husband beat fridge, choked and poked me September 28, 2008 - 10:08PM Daily News CRESTVIEW - A man beat his refrigerator, then choked his wife and jabbed his fingers into her eyes before leaving for the woods, sheriff's deputies say. Mark Clayton Evans, 41, of Creek Court, is charged with domestic battery by strangulation. He was arrested Tuesday for an Aug. 30 incident - an argument over him "not wanting to do things around the house," a deputy wrote. His wife asked him to take out a broken refrigerator. But instead of taking it out, Evans "took a hammer and started beating off the doors to the refrigerator and throwing things around the kitchen." He took her to the ground, choking her and poking her eyes before he fled on foot, according to his arrest report. Evans later called the Sheriff's Office and said he was in the woods and that he was the one who had been beaten.

Wealthy Teen Nearly Experiences Consequence September 27, 2008 | SOMERSET, NJ— In what local authorities are calling a "near tragedy," Charles Wentworth, a 17-year-old Rutgers Preparatory senior and member of the affluent Wentworth family, came perilously close to suffering a consequence resulting from his own wrongdoing Saturday. Wentworth, reportedly ignoring the protests of his classmates, got behind the wheel of his turbocharged Supra 2000GT after consuming half the contents of a bottle of Goldschläger at a friend's party. While driving westbound on Route 27, a disoriented Wentworth drifted across two lanes of traffic and collided with a minivan carrying a family of four, bringing the teen face-to-face with a potentially life-altering lesson. Wentworth escaped unscathed and unpunished, however, when his airbags deployed and a team of high-powered attorneys rushed to the scene and rescued him from the brink of personal responsibility. "Amazingly, Mr. Wentworth did not experience a single repercussion for consuming alcohol under age or operating a motor vehicle while intoxicated, and is furthermore completely unaware that he did anything wrong," local police chief Marvin Taylor said. "He is a very lucky boy." "If he had been driving just 5 mph faster, or if his parents hadn't had the influence to keep the matter out of court and the endless financial resources to lease a car of the exact same make and model to prevent him from having to face even the relatively trivial humiliation of being taunted by his peers for driving a slightly less expensive vehicle—my God, who knows what could have happened?" Taylor added. "He could have died or, worse, been held accountable for his actions." The Onion

Teen Accused Of Plotting Mom's Death To Pay For Girlfriend's Breast Implants Fountain, CO (AHN) -- An 18-year-old man is accused of plotting his mother's death with three others so he could have access to her money to buy his girlfriend breast implants. According to the Denver Channel, Nikita Weis hired two young men for a total of $7,000 to kill his mother and dispose of her body. However, when the victim, Hyun Weis, was attacked Thursday in her home with a small souvenir baseball bat, she was able to escape after using the panic button on her key chain to set off her car alarm, causing the assailant to flee. Nikita, the girlfriend, Sophia Nicole Alsept, 21, and the two men he allegedly hired - 18-year-old Juan Antonio Velez Gonzalez and 19-year-old Brandon Michael Soroka are all charged with suspicion of conspiracy to commit first-degree murder. The Denver Channel reported that Nikita and Alsept admitted to plotting the attack after initially saying they were held at gunpoint by the intruder. According to Fountain Deputy Police Chief Mike Barnett, Nikita planned to sell his mother's car and empty her bank accounts to pay for Alsept's breast implants. All four of the alleged plotters are being held on $50,000 bond. The mother was released from the hospital Friday.

PETA Calls For Ice Cream Made From Human Breast Milk Waterbury, VT (AHN) -- An animal rights group has urged a U.S. ice cream maker to follow a Swiss restaurant's lead by using human breast milk instead of cow's milk in making its products. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) made the call in a letter to the owners of Vermont-based Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc. on Tuesday. "Everyone knows that 'the breast is best,' so Ben & Jerry's could do consumers and cows a big favor by making the switch to breast milk," PETA executive vice president Tracy Reiman said in the letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, founders of the ice cream firm. The PETA official said using mother's milk is good for health and at the same time will spare dairy cows and their babies from suffering. The suggestion came on news that a restaurant in Switzerland will start buying breast milk from nursing mothers and using it as substitute for cow's milk used the food it serves.

Thursday, September 25, 2008 Third Grade Teacher Arrested for Sex With Underage Boy - Alyson Perri -Jarvis, Southern Oaks Elementary School Wow, gotta love that mug shot, don't you? The picture at right is of Alyson Perri-Jarvis, a third grade teacher at Southern Oaks Elementary School in Florida, who is accused of having a sexual relationship with a teen aged boy, starting when he was 15. The good news? According to the school district, Perri-Jarvis will NOT--we repeat NOT--be paid while she is in jail. Relieved, aren't you? The name of the now 18-year-old victim has not been revealed, but we do hear from sources that he is having his vision checked.

Man shoots own arm after being denied sex FORT MYERS, Fla. (AP) — The Lee County Sheriff's Office reports that 29-year-old Jonathon Guabello and his girlfriend returned home from a bar early Wednesday morning. The girlfriend told deputies that Guabello had wanted to get intimate, but she wanted to go to sleep. When Guabello became irate, authorities say the girlfriend went to a spare bedroom, and several minutes later she heard two gunshots. She told deputies Guabello came into her room and threatened her. He then stumbled into the kitchen and knocked himself unconscious. Guabello was charged with threatening violence and firing a weapon in an occupied dwelling. He was being held on $100,000 bail.

2 More Students Say Had Sex With Teacher Sandy Binkley Suspended Without Pay October 2, 2008 PORTLAND, Tenn. -- Two more students have come forward claiming they've had a sexual encounter with a high school teacher in Portland. Last week, Sandy Binkley was arrested and charged with aggravated statutory rape of a 17-year-old student during school hours. She is now charged with three counts of statutory rape by an authority figure and one count of sexual battery. Portland Police said the investigation led them to allegations that Binkley had sex with two additional Portland High School students on three occassions. The new accusations also involve sex acts at school, as well as one off campus. Binkley, 36, was released on bond. The Sumner County school system has suspended Binkley without pay.

Artist: Den Beauvais