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One Ugly Pie 13.1
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One Ugly Pie 13.1

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  • 1. One Ugly
    Pie
    After the Vacation
  • 2. I couldn’t take it seriously
    After seeing this
  • 3. After the vacation, Xerxes invites Ratna Collins over for some important event. After all, the alien noo boo, Chuck, is alive and well. And very much alien. That means Xerxes gets to have something he wants: Ratna.
  • 4. After all, she can’t stop thinking about him. But then what sim can resist not thinking about a popularity sim?
  • 5. Xerxes, “Ratna, after having birthed a Maxoidian baby, there is only one question to ask.”
    Ratna, “And that would be, by dear sweet Xerxes?”
    Xerxes, “Won’t you marry me?”
  • 6. Ratna, “I accept, darling. I shall place the engagement ring here amongst my others.
  • 7. Why bother stopping with engagement? Might as well go the whole nine yards. As for witnesses, we’ve got the whole internet, plus anyone who reads this.
  • 8. And let’s not forget baby Chuck. He’s watching too.
  • 9. Ratna Collins Pie. She comes with a loaded inventory. Most of which is immediately sold because it’s not like there isn’t already enough cash in the family bank. Important stats are as follows: Fortune Sim seeking LTW of Business Tycoon. 4/10/3/6/0 personality score with turn ons of jobless guys in swim suits and an off of Fit. She brings in a whopping $70,950 and subtracts a point off the legacy score card, being a Diva. Which reminds me, I should keep track of how many points I’m at.
  • 10. I don’t think I ever shared Xerxes stats, so here they are:
    Popularity seeking Rock God-hood
    10/6/4/7/8
    Turn On: Brown Hair, Athletic; Turn Off: Custom hair
  • 11. Look out lady! Or you’re bound to get splattered!
  • 12. Xerxes heads to Club Pie 2.0 to make use of the lots time escape aging mechanism so that way he can alien pregnant a second time via the dance sphere. It will also come in handy to make some additional money that the family doesn’t really need.
  • 13. The first few customers are none other than the strangling servo and Gargamel. Hey, even bad guys deserve breaks. And so long as they have the money, no discrimination. Thank goodness I don’t need to explain this within plot boundaries.
    Oh, and Ajay Loner also pays a visit. I still think he looks rather appropriate bald.
  • 14. As stated earlier, Xerxes is here for alien baby(ies). However, I soon realize his body skill of three might be just a touch too low to spin on even medium difficulty for very long. And since skills don’t build on business lots, it isn’t going to get any better.
  • 15. Instead, he can tend to the rather extensive strawberry garden that Miss Piggy left behind when she was working on her gold gardening badge. And it is one whootnanny of a garden!
  • 16. Katelynn, “Can I say hello?”
    Gargamel, “Yes, I’d like to be acquaintances with my nephew. Please stop pulling weeds so I can say hello.”
    Xerxes, “Go away!”
  • 17. Servo, “Master, what are we going to do with a dead body?”
    Gargamel, “We’re going to bring her back. Some how some way. Know of a cursed Native American burial ground?”
    Servo, “Not one that exists in this reality, master.”
    Gargamel, “Drat. We’ll just have to try something else then.”
  • 18. Sharla, “Hey, Xerxes. How are things with being the heir.”
    Xerxes, “Just peachy, sis. Just peachy. I’m just tending mom’s garden she left behind for me to tend to.”
    Sharla, “Good luck with that.”
  • 19. OMG! Look everybody! It’s Jill Smith! No, really! Her name is really Jill Smith. Now if only we could somehow introduce her to Gargamel, then maybe everyone can have a happily ever after.
  • 20. Ajay, “She’s not pretty enough to be Jill Smith.”
    Well she is. And you’ll know it when she says your garden sucks.
  • 21. Well, looks like Jill Smith took the initiative and plays a game of Mahjong with Gargamel all on her own. Let’s hope for the best.
  • 22. Later in the evening, Elmyra shows up. Quick! The villains you are looking for are just inside.
    Elmyra, “But it says I need to pay $24 to get inside.”
    Ack!
  • 23. What, no dancing! Go get the strangling servo.
    Elmyra, “I can see it fine from here.”
    No! Got get him! It’s your job!
    Elmyra, “Ok fine.”
  • 24. Elmyra, “See, he’s not breaking a law. He’s simply playing Mahjong. Like a civil person would.”
    But Gargamel was just here! Ack! He must have escaped!
    Elmyra, “Well too bad. I’ll have to commence my search after a game of billiards.”
  • 25. Ew! Xerxes, you shouldn’t look at your distant aunt as an attractive person. Granted, she would probably already be dead if everyone was on the proper time scale.
  • 26. Xerxes, “What’s going on? Why am I green?”
    Well this actually plays in Xerxes’ favor in a twisted sort of way. He’ll be able to better care for the garden with only three needs instead of eight. Three very easy to manage needs. He’ll be changing back though.
  • 27. Shadey, “Hmmm, $24 for each hour of fun? Is it really worth it?”
    It is! It is, Shadey. Come in and have the time of your life. We have Mahjong.
  • 28. Following Shadey are Chloe Singles and one of the local cheerleaders. I’m sure you know which one she is. I hope. >_>
  • 29. Chris, “I hate Tank Grunt. How dare he be deployed overseas!”
  • 30. Thanks Ophelia. Those gosh darn mean witches keep bringing roaches to the lot. It’s nice to know that customers are nice enough to take care of them.
  • 31. Abhijeet, “What’s up, dude? You look all green and stuff.”
    Xerxes, “Just go away. No vacations ever again!”
    Probably paranoid that Abhijeet might start flirting with him. Still, I always thought Abhijeet never would have thought of Xerxes that way. Ever.
  • 32. Jenny, “Oh my gosh, you’re sitting next to me.”
    Quincy, “And what’s wrong with that?”
    Jenny, “I just heart farted you so…”
    Quincy, “The nerve to think I’d ever find you attractive.”
  • 33. Jenny runs to the bathroom to cry. Just stay faithful to your husband, Jenny. No good can come from straying.
  • 34. Here’s a nice gathering at the Mahjong table: Circe Beaker, Chloe Singles, and two of the local villains. Or is it three? >_>
  • 35. There are a few casualties during the harvest season, but most of the strawberry plants are plucked and sold for a nice profit of $88 per plant. Apparently, price doesn’t matter from the healthiest plant to the near death ones.
  • 36. Since body skill is too low and won’t build, Xerxes heads for home. It is there that he shall bulk up the proper skill to master medium on that dang dance sphere.
  • 37. Ratna, “Why am I feeding Chuck?”
    Because you won’t leave him alone when you’re in free will mode. Der!
  • 38. Ratna, “Don’t think that just because I’m a woman means I’ll be cooking all the meals around here.”
    Wouldn’t think of it. But you’re such a good cook. I mean, you only put a turkey in the oven and you pulled out all of this on a plate.
  • 39. Meanwhile, Xerxes gets to work by swimming several dozen laps around the pool. And for some reason, the bottom looks all weird and funky. Not sure why.
  • 40. “Happy birthday to you
    Happy birthday to you
    Happy birthday dear Chuck
    Happy birthday to you.”
  • 41. And in a poof of confetti, Chuck reveals that he is seriously lacking in anything from Xerxes. In fact, the only thing I do notice that he possibly got from his human father are the lips.
  • 42. Xerxes, “Well, that’s what happens when you drink from the rotten bottle instead of the fresh one that daddy is getting for you.”
  • 43. At a skill level of five, Xerxes is managing to stay in for longer periods of time. Yet he gets the toss every-so-often.
  • 44. Ratna, “What are you doing?”
    Xerxes, “Trying to get alien abducted.”
    Ratna, “Without using the telescope.”
    Xerxes, “I was told by a doctor that this way works too. So while I’m busy doing this, could you give Chuck a bath?”
    Ratna, “I uh… don’t we have a butler or nanny to do this?”
    Xerxes, “I only hired a maid.”
    Ratna, “Oh alright. If it just has to be me.”
  • 45. Ratna, “Alright, you little booger. Let’s get you all clean. Good golly, look at how fast the water turned brown. You are absolutely filthy. Where you playing in the mud, kid?”
  • 46. And after a nice bath, Ratna and Chuck return to… Wait, where’d he go?
  • 47. Ratna, “Looks like your daddy got abducted while you were getting clean. Looks like you won’t be an only child.”
    It would of happened when I wasn’t paying attention.
  • 48. And so a long game of peek-a-boo occurs while Ratna and Chuck wait for Xerxes to return.
  • 49. Ratna, “Don’t hide, Chuck. It’s just Xerxes coming back.”
    Xerxes, “I’m back!”
    Ratna, “As if I wasn’t aware of that already.”
  • 50. With alien abduction having occurred, there is no longer a need to be a plant sim.
    Xerxes, “Time to change back into some more comfortable clothing.”
  • 51. Yes. Xerxes is definitely, definitely alien pregnant again.
  • 52. Xerxes, “What are you reading?”
    Ratna, “A cook book. Or rather the Woodchuck Guidebook to Cooking.”
    Xerxes, “Why?”
    Ratna, “An old wives tale: eating cheesecake causes you to have twins. I’m trying to find the recipe.”
    Xerxes, “Oh… OH! I guess I am getting pretty old.”
    Ratna, “Yes you are.”
  • 53. To solve potty training troubles, instead of emptying them every time, Xerxes opts to just buy a new one. After all he’s got the money to spend. Why not make things easier?
    Xerxes, “Hmm… cheesecake… I wonder if.”
  • 54. Guess what Miss Piggy cooked before she passed on? Cheesecake. Ah yea. Guess what was sitting in a refrigerated shelving unit? Cheesecake. Ah yea.
  • 55. Ratna, “I haven’t found the recipe yet, but I am starving. Wait, is that what I think it is?”
    Xerxes, “Cheesecake. It sure is. Apparently, my mom cooked up a couple of these and left them behind as part of my inheritance. Lucky find.”
    Ratna, “That was sitting in your pocket for how long now?”
    Xerxes, “Long enough to still be fresh.”
  • 56. Take that Smart Milk! Toddler taught to walk in a single sitting without ya!
  • 57. Ratna, “It’s time to get up, darling. I can hear Chuck wailing all the way in here.”
    Xerxes, “Then you can take care of him.”
    Ratna, “Charming idea, but no.”
  • 58. Xerxes decides to get up and tend Chuck, but not before making the bed in a very odd fashion. O_o
  • 59. Xerxes, “Say teddy bear. Teddy bear. Oh hey, Ratna. What’s with the baby bottle?”
    Ratna, “It had a note on it saying now is the time to give it to Chuck.”
  • 60. Ratna, “By the way… I don’t mean to brag, but I quit my job as a professional party guest to be with you. Hope you understand that.”
    Xerxes, “Well it is a part of the rules.”
  • 61. Xerxes, “Say daddy.”
    Chuck, “No!”
  • 62. Ratna, “Hello, Chuck. Let’s play a game of toss the baby at the ceiling. Ready? Here we go!”
  • 63. Still, they have their moments together where they look precious.
  • 64. Xerxes, “See, I knew you could teach ol’ Chuck how to use the potty.”
    Ratna, “Good thing he taught you most of it, so I don’t have to stand idly by ever again.”
  • 65. Ratna, “Can we please move on to the childhood stage? I’m not liking screaming toddler.”
    Yes, of course. It is Chuck’s birthday, so he will grow to the child stage and reveal more of his face.
  • 66. As I suspect, only Xerxes lips seem to have translated to this maxoidian offspring. And featuring his hastily built room that juts into the side of the garage. Tiny little thing ain’t it?
  • 67. But at least the little guy has a full view of the backyard.
  • 68. Ratna, “Not to brag or anything, but I taught ol’ Chuck how to use the toilet.”
  • 69. Ratna, “Just what this place needs: a wonderful self-painting of me.”
  • 70. The ever hyper Chuck. Did I mention his personality?
    10/10/10/2/3
    Yea.. Scary.
  • 71. Chuck, “I’m going to school!”
    As I said: hyper
  • 72. Xerxes, “Yoo hoo… I’m about ready to give birth to more maxoidian babies. A little attention would be nice.”
  • 73. Ratna, “Look at that flair. Ain’t nothing like that. Ain’t no one fairer than me. No nono.”
    Xerxes, “PAIN!”
    Ratna, “Whatever was that noise?”
  • 74. Ratna, “Good heavens, is that burger stuck between my teeth. I’ll have to fix that.”
    Xerxes, “OUCHIES!”
    Ratna, “There… oh no wait, it’s still between them.”
  • 75. And sometime later…
    Ratna, “Xerxes, why didn’t you tell me you were birthing the maxoidian babies?”
    Xerxes, “I did.”
  • 76. Abignale Pie
    Girl
  • 77. Jerry Pie
    Male
  • 78. Ratna, “Now what are we supposed to do?”
    Raise’em. Raise’em proud and ugly.
    Fin
  • 79. No, Abhijeet. Just plain no.