As you’ve seen, the law in Iowa has defined an objectively hostile school environment for us. This helps to clarify what kinds of conditions exist for a situation to be labeled “bullying.” The graphic here visually illustrates the information presented so far about the definition of bullying according to Iowa law. Take some time to review it and ask yourself which aspects are more clear, and which still seem a bit difficult to understand. It’s not difficult to notice, however, that there are still parts of this definition that are very subjective in nature. Which terms did you notice that are still a bit unclear?
Divide the room in half – each half gets a different scenario – then put in groups of four They discuss whether this is/is not bullying and what their response would be as a counselor, principal, parent Divide again to make new groups of four; two from one side of the room and two from the other Compare situations and notes – how are these alike and different Chart Venn Diagram
Cyberbullying, Sports, and YouBen Barry, School Counselor – Carlisle Middle School(and former coach, teacher, and Dad of 4 little ones)
Who Am I and What do I Do?• Carlisle Middle School– 6-8 building– 2000+ students district-wide, 474 in middle schoolincluding largest class in district– Rural school just outside major metro area• Teacher/Educator for 12 years• Counselor for 5 years• Have Coached at MS and HS level• NOT a Bullying Expert, but like all of you,constantly learning
Today’s Objectives• You will know what bullying and cyberbullyingactually is.• You will be able to identify if an issue isbullying…or maybe just teasing• You will understand how your role as Coach iskey in preventing bullying• You will see many different simple ways youcould create a culture of no-tolerance forbullying, not just with your team, but withyour entire school
Workshop Survey• Please go to this website and take the 5question survey. Your results will be shownduring the 2ndhour of our focus on Bullying.• Even better, you will be shown how you canuse this survey tool as a way to getinformation on your team and theirperceptions• www.carlislecounseling.blogspot.com
“Bullying is a learnedbehavior. If it can belearned, it can beexamined, and it canbe changed.”~ Barbara Coloroso
A Look at OurselvesIf bullying behavior is learned,did they learn it from us???
“When staff reach a consensus onwhat bullying is and agree tointervene to prevent and reduceit, rates of bullying dropsignificantly.”~ Wright (2004) cited in SEL and BullyingPrevention (2009)
What is Bullying?• “Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavioramong school aged children that involves areal or perceived power imbalance. Thebehavior is repeated, or has the potential tobe repeated, over time. Both kids who arebullied and who bully others mayhave serious, lasting problems.”– www.stopbullying.gov
What Events are Bullying?• Must have imbalance of power– Physical size, outnumber target, access toinformation, controlling• Causes lasting harm, target shows effects• Repetitive (but can be bullying sometimeswith just 1 event)• Can be physical (not likely), verbal, emotional,social, cyber-related
Bullying vs. Teasing• This is what I tell students…..– If target shows emotion or effects andbehavior/action STOPS….it is teasing– If target shows emotion or effects andbehavior/action continues or gets worse…it isbullying.– When in doubt, address it with all involved– Don’t buy the “I was just joking or kidding” linefrom aggressor. And target may also say it wasjust a joke, but follow up 1-on 1
Cyberbullying• More on bullying later….but now,Cyberbullying!• Waukee students show the true nastiness ofCyberbullying, but also show how a school canunite to be better.
Cyberbullying….Why ShouldCoaches Care?• Almost all Cyberbullying or “Cyber Drama” willoccur when athletes are not around the coach• But that does not mean it is not the Coach’sissue to deal with or the school’s issue to dealwith
Check Your School Policy• ….And then consider updating it or meetingwith your AD/principal/Superintendent• If your student athlete is showing effects ofbeing bullied and these effects show up duringpractices, games, or the school day…..….it is a school, team, and Coach issue.
So What is Cyberbullying?• Similar definition to bullying• But adds “involves sending offensive,humiliating, or threatening messages orimages through a computer, cell phone, orother internet-related device”• Comments directly to target, to others abouttarget, rumor-spreading, posting lies, made upweb pages, sexting
Cyberbullying Stats• Over ½ of adolescents have been bulliedonline, about the same have engaged incyberbullying• 1/3 have experience cyberthreats• Over 25% have been bullied repeatedlythrough their cell phones/Internet• More than half do not tell their parents whencyberbullying occurs.• But….would they tell their coach?
YES!• If you form a relationship and bond with yourplayers, they may come to you before they goto a parent• That bond and openness must start early:Coach’s meeting, camps, outside of practicetime• But remember to forge that same relationshipwith parents as well
But Wait…Why is Cyberbullying soBad?• 24 Hours• 7 Days a Week• 365 Days a Year• Doesn’t end at 3:30, Doesn’t end on Friday,Doesn’t end at Summer Break.• And the solution isn’t just telling the target toshut off their phone, close their computer,and delete their Facebook and Twitter
From Coaches/ADs• It takes place more now via social media,texting, ect…it’s easy to hide behind akeyboard, and people don’t think sometimesbefore hitting the enter key.—Todd Gordon,Carlisle AD• I think it is a bigger issue because of the use ofsocial media to bully kids. I think that avenuemakes it easier to hide behind their actions.—Mark Hoekstra, Carlisle Head Football Coach
Iowa Safe Schools LawAnti-Bullying/Harassment Law – Iowa Code 280.28• Big Picture – No bullying/harassment by– students– school employees– school volunteers• 17 protected traits/characteristics• Know Your State’s Laws when it comes tobullying and harrassment, and your school’spolicy
• 17 enumerated categories• Age• Color• Creed• National Origin• Race• Religion• Marital Status• Sex• Sexual Orientation• Gender Identity• Physical Attributes• Physical/Mental Disability• Ancestry• Political Party Preference• Political Belief• Socioeconomic Status• Familial StatusIowa Safe Schools LawAnti-Bullying/Harassment Law – Iowa Code 280.28
So now….back to just “regularBullying”• No such thing as “regular bullying”• 15-20% of students victimized by bullies duringschool career• 1 in 3 is involved in bullying• 160,000 students skip school every day due tofear of bullying• 71%-85% of bullying is not stopped by an adult• Bullying many times stops in seconds with peerintervention
Risks of Bullying• Team Unity• Player attrition• Patterns of behavior/Long-term Team Culture• Professional issues/lawsuits• Suicide– 3rd leading cause of death in teens– 100 attempts for every completed suicide– Bully targets are 2-9 more likely to attempt
So What Do You Do?• LISTEN to issue• Report issues to superiors• Investigate issue to see if it is truly bullying• Address issue with students/athletes involved• Contact parents• Do not try “Conflict resolution” with bully andtarget if issue is truly bullying
What do Your Athlete TargetsWant You to Do?• When targets of bullying were surveyed aboutwhat they want and do not want adults to do– They wanted adults….• Listen to them• Validate their concerns and feelings, believe event• Address issue– They did not want adults….• To talk to bully with them• Punish the Bully• To solve the issue
What Can You Do Before BullyingHappens?• Talk to players• Talk to parents• Seek help from resources (School counselor!)• Use Technology and social media…be a rolemodel• Special Events/Promotions• Be there and listen
Social Media and Blogs• Facebook account• Twitter• Blog site for your sport/team• Old fashioned emails and newsletters??www.carlislecounseling.blogspot.com
My “Got Guts?” campaign• Modeled after “Got Milk?” ads• Made 10 black posters with white lettering• Used different body parts, senses, etc.• Posted around building for month of October• How could a Coach/team do this?
My “Be a Lifesaver” Campaign• Found and typed up 10-15 bullying facts• Added some Carlisle comparison informationto make more real and current• Student council students stapled facts toindividual lifesavers• Posted “Be a Life Saver” poster in Commons• Student council reps handed out life saver toall 474 students at lunch• How could a Coach/team do this?
My “Blue Jeans for Bully-Free School” Campaign• Coordinated it with launch of othercampaigns and National Stomp Out BullyingDay• All staff wore blue jeans (they loved this!)• Moving it to district-wide next year• Encouraged students district-wide to wearblue on that day as well.• How could a Coach/team do this?
Parent/Team Meeting• Most of you already have parent/teammeetings• Address Bullying/Cyberbullying specifically• Consider emailing or mailing specificinformation to parents on the topic• Team meeting, even just 5-10 minutes, abouta No-tolerance policy on bullying
Gather Data!• 1-on-1 interviews• Mid-season contact with player and/orparents• Survey online (I use Google Forms)– Quick, easy for players or parents– Get instant data– Act on the data!– Publish the data!
Get Data!• Needs Assessment for different groups• Iowa Youth Survey (many states have these)• Self-created Bullying/Harassment Survey• Observational Data• Bullying/Harassment forms• Referral Data: Grade, location, time
Use the Data• Review with players, coaches, administration,parents, counselor, etc.• Share the data….be public!• All Schools have issues with bullying andharrassment, but the good schools gather thedata, use the data, and try to problem-solve!• And they do not shy away from the issue, theyconfront it! (Example….Sioux City & “Bully”movie
But the Most Important Things You Can Do arethe Easiest….ListenSupportCareFollow up/throughTargets of bullying want to be heard, listened to, supported,and helped. This can be the most impactful thing you doand might just be the best fix to any bullying problems inyour school
So…..What WILL You do?• Think about all you have heard and discussedtoday• What is ONE thing you will do when you goback to your district and your team.• Write that ONE thing on two different stickynotes• Keep one and post the other
To Finish….• Athletes many times make the best rolemodels….
“Let us not look back inanger or forward in fear,but around in awareness.”~James Thurber