Percentage of couples in AgreementCommunication Issue Happy Unhappy Couples CouplesMy partner understands how I feel. 93% 21%My partner makes comments that 8% 64%put me down.I am very satisfied with how my 97% 45%partner and I talk with each other.I feel good about how much my 72% 15%partner shares feelings withme.When we are having a problem, my 17% 74%partner often refuses to talk about it.
1. Passive-- unwilling to honestly show thoughts, feelings, or desires2. Aggressive—characterized by blaming and accusatory actions: ―You Always‖ ―You Never‖3. Assertive: Expressions in healthy, non- defensive and non-insistent ways. Asking clearly what we want: being positive and respectful
This encourages the partner to respond positively and assertively. Step mom Father
Try to set aside5 – 10 minutesdaily and 15-20 minuteson weekends to share thoughtsand feelings aboutyour day, work,stresses and life Use “I” statementstogether. avoid “YOU” statements
1. Focus on the good in each other2. Praise each other often3. Take time to listen to understand, not to judge :Reflect before countering.4. Be assertive (using ―I‖ statements rather than ―You‖ statements) No guessing games!5. Give your relationship the importance and attention you did when you first met.
If your partnerdoesn’t understandyou, maybe it’s nother (his) fault! Areyou speaking goodEnglish?
A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the wholehorse. A small rudder on a huge ship in thehands of a skilled captain sets a course in the faceof the strongest winds. A word out of yourmouth may seem of no account, but it canaccomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forestfire. A careless or wrongly placed word out ofyour mouth can do that. By our speech wecan ruin the world, turn harmony tochaos, throw mud on a reputation,send the whole world up in smoke andgo up in smoke with it, smoke rightfrom the pit of hell. James 3:5-6 (The Message) Eugene Peterson
Graphics, desktop publishing, sequencing and editing my OCOI Studios Xhilliwhack, BC OCOI.Studios@gmail.com Cartoons permission by cartoonstock.com Tables and graphs courtesy of Baker Publishing group