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Lesson 1 Are we Ready?
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Lesson 1 Are we Ready?

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First in an Eight Part series for a class on step-parenting. Best taken BEFORE you ruch into a situation where you will be a Step-parent, or have to get along with someone step-parenting your ...

First in an Eight Part series for a class on step-parenting. Best taken BEFORE you ruch into a situation where you will be a Step-parent, or have to get along with someone step-parenting your children!

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  • This excellent book is available on Amazon.ca for as low as $14.24
  • Imagine all these people in the stadium are experienced step parents. This course includes their collective wisdom and experience published
  • A study of 50,000 couples revealed the Top 10 qualities of Highly satisfied Remarriage couples:(p 28)Satisfaction with and acceptance of the personality of your partnerHealthy communicationAbility to resolve couple conflictShared couple leisure activityStrong couple flexibility and adaptabilityGood financial management and shared values for handling moneyHealth sexuality and affection within the relationshipPositive shared friendships and healthy boundaries with extended family that support the coupleSuccessful management of the complexities of living in a step familyPositive couple closeness and emotional safety.
  • On a scale of 1(low) and 10 (excellent) grade your relationships on each of the Top ten Qualities:share your answer personally with your partnerDecide which item requires attention firstCreate a written plan to overcome the issuemeasure and share your results weekly (I.e on a date night)
  • Some interesting statistics regarding marriage nearly half of all marriages do not surviveAn additional 25% of marriages that don’t end in divorce are DISSATISFYINGSecond marriages crash and burn 60 % of the timeThird marriages crash and burn 73 % of the timeCouples bringing children into the new family divorce 50% more than those with no children
  • This course if offered to change those statistics and help us become a successful step family. The health of each of the step parents and the ability to manage the attributes and actions on our children are the two defining attributes that make or break a step family. Remarriage is not only about the couples' ability to cope with change, but also about our past and our children in the present.
  • Remarriage is not only about the couples' ability to cope with change, but also about our past and our children in the present. ** See couple's positioning system (CPD) @ couplecheckup.com ($29.95)
  • Key Strengths of Highly Satisfied Remarriage Couples1. Satisfaction with and acceptance of the personality of your partner.2. Healthy communication.3. An ability to resolve couple conflict.4. Shared couple leisure activity.5. Strong couple flexibility and adaptability.6. Good financial management and shared values for handling money.7. Healthy sexuality and affection within the relationship.8. Positive shared friendships and healthy boundaries with extended family that support the couple.9. Successful management of the complexities of living in a stepfamily.10. Positive couple closeness and emotional safety.
  • Top Ten Statements Predicting Health Items are in order of how closely they relate to couple satisfaction.1. One partner's moodiness is not an issue in our relationship. 2. Each of us feels understood by the other.3. We are able to resolve our differences.4. We enjoy many of the same leisure activities.5. We are creative in how we handle our differences.6. We agree on how to spend money.7. Affection is used fairly in our relationship and sexuality is healthy.8. Neither of us is overly involved or influenced by his/her family or previous partner.9. We have worked out parent and stepparent responsibilities and roles.10. Each of us feels close to the other.
  • Remarriage Stumbling Blocks Items are in Rank Order1They expect difficulty dealing with complex stepfamily issues(88%)2They believe having children from previous relationships will put an additional strain on their marriage(86%)3Creating a stepfamily puts more stress on their relationship(85%)4Having different patterns of child rearing in their birth family can be problematic(82%)5They expect stepfamily adjustment to be difficult(78%) 6They don't have a specific plan for money management(73%)7They have concerns over unpaid bills, debts, or settlements(66%)8They feel their partner is too stubborn(65%)9 One or both of the partners goes out of their way to avoid conflict with the other(63%)10 They have a fear of another marital failure(63%)11 One or both partners feel responsible for the problems when they argue(61 %)One or both partners have not yet worked through the issues and hurts from previous relationships(58%)
  • Couple positioning system (CPS)Review your couple Checkup Report to see what Couple Type you are most similar to. The chart in the next page summarizes the strengths and key growth dimensions of each type. The couple Scores in the Summary of Strength and Growth Areas graph describe how much you agree with each other in a positive way about important aspects of your marriage.

Lesson 1 Are we Ready? Lesson 1 Are we Ready? Presentation Transcript

  • Based on” The ReMarriage Checkup By Ron Deal and David H. Olson © 2010 by Bethany House, Minneapolis, Mn. a division of Baker Publishing Co,Data graphs and comments used with permission of the publisher
  • Aloha Stadium holds 50,000 peoplePublished in “The ReMarriage Checkup” ©2010
  • From a study of 50,000 couples1. Partner’s 6. Financial Personality management2. Healthy 7. Healthy sexuality communication 8. Friendships and3. Ability to resolve extended family conflict 9. Managing4. Shared couple complexity leisure activity 10. Couple closeness5. Flexibility and & emotional adaptability safety.
  • On a scale of 1(low) and 10 (excellent) grade your relationships on each of the Top ten Qualities (above): share your answer with your partner Decide which item requires attention first Write a plan to overcome the issue measure and share your results weekly (i.e on a date night)
  •  Nearly half of all marriages do not survive An additional 25% of marriages that don’t end in divorce are DISSATISFYING Second marriages crash and burn 60 % of the time Third marriages crash and burn 73 % of the time Couples bringing children into the new family, divorce 50% more than those with no children
  •  This course if offered to change those statistics and help us become a successful step family. The health of each of the step parents and the ability to manage the attributes and actions on our children are the two defining attributes that make or break a step family. Remarriage is not only about the couples ability to cope with change, but also about our past and our children in the present.
  • www.couplecheckup.com
  • 1. Satisfaction with and acceptance of the personality of your partner.2. Healthy communication.3. An ability to resolve couple conflict.4. Shared couple leisure activity.5. Strong couple flexibility and adaptability.6. Good financial management and shared values for handling money.7. Healthy sexuality and affection.8. Positive shared friendships and healthy boundaries with extended family.9. Successful management of the complexities of living in a stepfamily.10. Positive couple closeness and emotional safety.
  • Items are in order of how closely they relate to couple satisfaction1. One partners moodiness is not an issue.2. Each of us feels understood by the other.3. We are able to resolve our differences.4. We enjoy many of the same leisure activities.5. Creative in handling differences.6. We agree on how to spend money.7. Affection is used fairly and sexuality is healthy.8. Neither of us is overly involved or influenced by his/her family or previous partner.9. Clear parent and stepparent roles.10. Feeling close to the other.
  • Items are in Rank Order1. Expecting difficulty dealing with complex stepfamily issues (88%)2. Stepchildren strain (86%)3. Stress of creating a stepfamily (85%)4. Different patterns of child rearing traditions (82%)5. They expect stepfamily adjustment to be difficult (78%)6. No specific plan for money management (73%)7. Concerns over unpaid bills, debts, or settlements (66%)8. They feel their partner is too stubborn (65%)9. Tendency to avoid conflict (63%)10. They have a fear of another marital failure(63%)11. Feeling responsible for problems when they argue (61%)12. Baggage from previous relationships (58%)
  •  Review your couple Checkup Report to see what Couple Type you are most similar to. The chart in the next page summarizes the strengths and key growth dimensions of each type. The couple Scores in the Summary of Strength and Growth Areas graph describe how much you agree with each other in a positive way about important aspects of your marriage.
  • Graphics, desktop publishing, sequencing and editing my OCOI Studios Xhilliwhack, BC OCOI.Studios@gmail.com Cartoons permission by cartoonstock.com Tables and graphs courtesy of Baker Publishing group