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Capacity building course 3 counselling

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  • 1. K N O W T H E MK N O W T H E M L O V E T H E ML O V E T H E M R E A C H T H E MR E A C H T H E M Keys to effectiveness in Ministering to TEENAGERS COUNSELLING TEENAGERS The Solid Foundation Ministry Caring for teenagers
  • 2. Summary • Christian Counseling what it involves is it biblical aims and objectives social spiritual • Who can counsel? teenage • Where and when to counsel? • Counseling tools listening using right words prayer follow-up • Entertain Questions
  • 3. Christian teens’ counseling involves helping the teens to: 1. Get along better with God 2. Get along better with others 3. Get along better with themselves
  • 4. 1. Showing teens how to have an abundant life 2. Pointing them to the eternal life in Christ 3. Seeing the teenagers become disciples of Jesus Christ A Christian teenage counselor has the ultimate goal of:
  • 5. 1. Help them recognise unconscious harmful activities 2. Teach them ways of relating to other people 3. Show them how to mobilize their inner resources to face crises Counseling should:
  • 6. a) Inner conflicts b) Peer, parental & societal pressures c) Crippling emotions d) Problems of growing-up e) Disappointments & discouragements . Teenagers like all other individuals are aced with problems of life (Lam. 2: 19) such as:
  • 7. 1. Accept who they are 2. Understand who they are 3. understand changes in their body and mind 4. Changes in their thinking and behaviour 2. Perhaps a shorter way … make teenagers grow faster in Christ… help them:
  • 8. 1. Romans 15: 1. We who are strong 2. Hebrews 3: 13. But encourage one another 3. 1Thess. 5: 11. Therefore encourage one another 3. It is a biblical injunction … Jesus Christ the Wonderful “counselor” Isaiah 9:6b
  • 9. 1. Have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ 2. Be filled with the Spirit 3. Be deeply familiar with scriptures 4. Having a calling & vision for teens 5. Be a person of prayer 6. Have a passion for saving souls WHO CAN COUNSEL? However, a good teen’s counselor MUST
  • 10. 1. Accept the teenagers as they are 2. Maintain confidentiality 3. Love them & understand their culture & problems 4. Endeavour to counsel teens of own gender (2Cor. 2: 11) 5. Be able to listen to the Holy Spirit For a counselor to be effective, he must
  • 11. 1. Be warm, friendly, absolutely honest, compassionate etc. 2. Be spiritually mature 3. Be able to see things from teen’s point of view 4. Have a deep burden for them For a counselor to be effective, he must (contd.)
  • 12. 1. Informing & enlightening them 2. Encouraging (be persistent). Heb. 10: 24 3. Teaching them the right behaviour. Phil.4: 8 4. Praying for them 5. Guiding them to take stock of spiritual/psychological resources 6. Engaging in effective follow-up 7. Pointing them to Christ as answer to their problems 8. Suggest solutions to their problems (assisting not advising) A Counselor’s Role WHAT DOES A TEEN’S COUNSELOR DO?
  • 13. WHERE AND WHEN TO COUNSEL TEENAGERS 1. Absenteeism 2. Withdrawal 5. Absentmindedness 7. Bullying 1. Moodiness 2. Snobbishness 3. Secrecy 8. Extreme extroversion
  • 14. Some ways in which teens can defend themselves against fear of rejection and inferiority complex 1. Saccharine sweetness 2. Feigned humility 3. Excessive talkativeness 4. Extreme shyness 1. Exaggerated behaviour 2. Blame shifting 3. Uncharacteristic behaviour (e.g. introvert becoming extrovert overnight
  • 15. COUNSELLING TOOLS 1. Get to know counsellee & let counsellee know you(areas of common interest) 2. Establishing cordial relationship 3. Calling teen by first name/pet name,buying things for them and knowing their hobbies 4. Paying compliments 5. Asking about school, home, friends, etc. In what ways?
  • 16. LISTENING
  • 17. 1. Learning the facts 2. Sympathy 3. Compelled to/obligation 4. Inquisitiveness 5. Genuine help Determine which ones are yours:
  • 18. WORDS/SPEECH A. Use the right words
  • 19. 1. “you shouldn’t have done that” 2. “I expect you to be wiser” 3. “You should know better” 4. “How old are you?” Things we should not say to teenagers
  • 20. 1. Prompted by love – Proverbs 15: 23 2. Chosen with care – Proverbs 25: 11 3. Spoken with tenderness – Eph. 4: 29; Prov. 12: 25 Bible tells us that words that encourage are:
  • 21. 1. “How does that make you feel?” 2. “What do you think we can do about it?” A few door openers might be:
  • 22. 1. “Are you sure you’re telling me the truth?” 2. “Do you think it is possible for everyone to disbelieve you?” 3. “They are probably right!” A few door closers might be:
  • 23. 1. Focusing fully on the teenager – undivided attention 2. Maintaining a good distance between yourself and teenager & proper posture 3. Matching facial expression with teen’s mood 4. Proper eye contact Things to consider in this area are: NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION
  • 24. 1. Hearing 2. Seeing 3. Doing People have different ways of learning. These include:
  • 25. 1. Saying a kind word to someone each day 2. Reading a chapter in the Bible each day 3. Keeping a record of time (timetable) 4. Making a list of personal values and priorities Their possible “HOMEWORK" could include specific behaviours such as:
  • 26. 1. Testing (questionnaires, list of life goals, likes & dislikes) 2. Reading (books, articles etc.)related to problems 3. Watching Christian video tapes 4. Listening to Christian music/word tapes More possible “HOMEWORK" could include:
  • 27. PRAY
  • 28. 1. Naturally 2. Perceptively 3. specifically But remember, when you pray to do it
  • 29. FOLLOW-UP 1. Visiting – (this should not be confused with socialising) 2. Letter writing 3. Telephoning 4. Meeting other significant people in the life of the teen (e.g. friends, parents/guardian, teachers, relatives) Some areas of follow–up could include:
  • 30. 1. Fashion, career 2. Interpersonal relationships – dating 3. Sexuality 4. Parents – teens relationship GROUP COUNSELING Some areas in which teenagers in your local church require counseling are
  • 31. THANK YOU