SECRETS 
TO 
HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM 
By Avinoam Lerner
Tale of Two Wolfs
General Traits of Low Self-Esteem 
 Feeling unworthy of respect, happiness, love… 
 Feeling as life dealt you an unfair ...
What is Self-Esteem? 
Self-Esteem reflects a person's 
overall evaluation or appraisal 
of his or her own worth. 
~ Wikipi...
Why is Self-Esteem Important? 
o Self-Esteem can be the difference between 
success and failure. 
o Self-Esteem affects yo...
How do We Feed the Wolfs? 
 Lack of Satisfaction - the grass is always 
greener on the other side. 
 Negative Self-Talk ...
Ingredients to Healthy Self-Esteem 
 Worth - feeling that you have value and 
worth as a person just by virtue of "being"...
Self-Esteem Killer # 1 
 One of the most important factors 
affecting self-esteem is the gap 
between your self-image, th...
The Problem with Self-Esteem? 
What is this?
And This?
And This?
The Whole Truth (picture)
Self-Esteem Builder # 1 
o Setting Personal Boundaries 
o “We have not only the right, but the duty 
to take responsibilit...
Your Choice 
~Excerpts from Robert Burney – The Dance of Wounded Souls 
 Setting a boundary is not making a threat – it i...
Secrets to a healthy self-esteem 
1. Stop comparing yourself with others. It’s 
unfair. You may compare their strengths wi...
More Secrets: 
4. Emphasize your strengths. 
5. Change what can be changed. Some 
things fast, others gradual, and others ...
Even More: 
7. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. 
Remember that no one can fill your part 
in the world. 
8. Focus on th...
The Truth about Self-Esteem 
o You can have a healthy self-esteem and still have 
occasional bouts of self-doubt. 
o Healt...
When You Have Healthy Self-Esteem 
 You are can act more assertively without feeling 
guilty. Communication with other pe...
Cont’ 
 You recognize and accept a wide range of 
feelings, positive or negatives. You share them with 
another person if...
Reality Check: 
• “You may think everyone is looking at you, 
making mental notes of your flaws, but 
you’d be surprised t...
Thank You 
For more information on the topic visit: 
www.AvinoamLerner.com 
Or Call 
617.564.0707 
For a Free Consultation.
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Secretes to a healthy self esteem

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Discover the Guru's secrets to healthy self-esteem, what it means and what you can do to improve your experience. So many struggle needlessly. If you or a loved one struggle with low self esteem, please share this content with them and help them change their lives.

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Transcript of "Secretes to a healthy self esteem"

  1. 1. SECRETS TO HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM By Avinoam Lerner
  2. 2. Tale of Two Wolfs
  3. 3. General Traits of Low Self-Esteem  Feeling unworthy of respect, happiness, love…  Feeling as life dealt you an unfair hand…  Beating yourself down… or feeling excessive guilt…  Dominant thoughts such as “What if... I should have ... If only..”  Feeling as if you have nothing to offer or contribute…  Feeling inadequate, unattractive or unlikable…  Feeling as if other people can see into you…
  4. 4. What is Self-Esteem? Self-Esteem reflects a person's overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth. ~ Wikipidia
  5. 5. Why is Self-Esteem Important? o Self-Esteem can be the difference between success and failure. o Self-Esteem affects your thinking, causing your outlook to be positive or negative. o Self-Esteem affects your confidence. o Self-Esteem affects your happiness.
  6. 6. How do We Feed the Wolfs?  Lack of Satisfaction - the grass is always greener on the other side.  Negative Self-Talk – putting ourselves down.  Spending countless hours worrying about how people perceive of us  Constantly second guessing our decisions.  Not asking for what we really want or deserve.
  7. 7. Ingredients to Healthy Self-Esteem  Worth - feeling that you have value and worth as a person just by virtue of "being", not doing or accomplishing. You have a Fundamental right to be here and are entitled to happiness.  Competence - being aware of your abilities and talents as well as your strengths.
  8. 8. Self-Esteem Killer # 1  One of the most important factors affecting self-esteem is the gap between your self-image, the way you see yourself in the moment, and your ideal-self, the way you would ideally like to be sometime in the future.
  9. 9. The Problem with Self-Esteem? What is this?
  10. 10. And This?
  11. 11. And This?
  12. 12. The Whole Truth (picture)
  13. 13. Self-Esteem Builder # 1 o Setting Personal Boundaries o “We have not only the right, but the duty to take responsibility for how we allow others to treat us.” ~ Robert Burney, The Dance of Wounded Souls
  14. 14. Your Choice ~Excerpts from Robert Burney – The Dance of Wounded Souls  Setting a boundary is not making a threat – it is communicating clearly what the consequences will be if the other person continues to treat us in an unacceptable manner. It is a consequence of the other person’s behavior: theirs and ours.  Setting a boundary is not an attempt to control the other person – it is a part of the process of defining ourselves and what is acceptable to us.  The difference between setting a boundary in a healthy way and manipulating is when we set a boundary we let go of the outcome.
  15. 15. Secrets to a healthy self-esteem 1. Stop comparing yourself with others. It’s unfair. You may compare their strengths with your weaknesses. Instead judge yourself in terms of your own growth. 2. Instead of worrying about the things you can’t change, be more accepting of others and the things they can’t change. 3. Realistic Expectations - We often try to copy models that appear to be perfect at everything.
  16. 16. More Secrets: 4. Emphasize your strengths. 5. Change what can be changed. Some things fast, others gradual, and others never. There are things we inherit but we can change our attitude about it. 6. Practice positive self-talk and accepting compliments. Just say “thank you”. Give compliments to others. It will make you feel good.
  17. 17. Even More: 7. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Remember that no one can fill your part in the world. 8. Focus on the good - Celebrate your achievements by regularly reviewing what went well instead of thinking only about problems or setbacks. 9. Set achievable targets and goals and get regular feedback.
  18. 18. The Truth about Self-Esteem o You can have a healthy self-esteem and still have occasional bouts of self-doubt. o Healthy self-esteem means thinking as highly of yourself as you think of your peers. o A healthy self-esteem is compatible with humility. Humility is not the same as self-effacement.
  19. 19. When You Have Healthy Self-Esteem  You are can act more assertively without feeling guilty. Communication with other people feels easy and natural.  You don't spend too much time dwelling on the past. You live in the present moment doing the best you can.  You feel equal to everyone. You know that nobody is better or worse than you.  You do not allow others to manipulate you. Because you know how to be assertive you can easily handle these situations with a different attitude. Adaptation from www.selfesteemawareness.com
  20. 20. Cont’  You recognize and accept a wide range of feelings, positive or negatives. You share them with another person if you think it is healthy for the relationship.  You enjoy different activities like work, play, walk, relax, etc. Balance is important in your daily life.  You handle criticism easily without taking it personally. You know that you are learning and growing and are mostly independent of the good and bad opinions of others.  You value yourself and you communicate better with other people. You are not afraid to express your feelings, likes and dislikes. Adaptation from www.selfesteemawareness.com
  21. 21. Reality Check: • “You may think everyone is looking at you, making mental notes of your flaws, but you’d be surprised to discover how unaware others are. People are a lot alike when it comes to insecurity - they’re just as worried about themselves as you are about yourself.” ~ Candice Z. Watters
  22. 22. Thank You For more information on the topic visit: www.AvinoamLerner.com Or Call 617.564.0707 For a Free Consultation.

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