Whose Face Is in the Mirror?: The
Story of One Womans Journey from
the Nightmare of Domestic Abuse to
True Healing by Dianne Schwartz
A Heroine's Transformation
Dianne shares the trauma involved in living with an abuser, and takes you
with her during the gradual process that allowed her to escape from the
nightmare and move toward true healing.
Personal Review: Whose Face Is in the Mirror?: The Story of
One Womans Journey from the Nightmare of Domestic Abuse to
True Healing by Dianne Schwartz
She had it all. Good looks. Her own business. Even a Mrs. Arizona title.
But Dianne Schwartz hid a gruesome secret. She was a victim of
continued physical abuse by her first husband. How does a seemingly
successful, beautiful woman fall into the snare of an abuser? Schwartz

tells us, beginning with childhood issues that evolved into setting her up as
a victim for domestic violence.
In the preface to Whose Face is in the Mirror, the author introduces us to
an essential part of healing from abuse-ridding oneself of shame. Through
her story, Schwartz seeks to share her abuse, insight into how and why
she came to be abused, her steps to recovery and her ongoing journey
and encouragement to other survivors of abuse.
Painful at times, this true story rings more than true - it resonates within the
soul. We all have known a woman just like Dianne Schwartz - a woman
who we shake our heads at and wonder, "Is she nuts? Why does she listen
to that loser? Why does she go back? How can she trust him again?" No,
Dianne isn't nuts, and neither is any other woman caught in the deadly
game of domestic abuse. For the abuser, it's just that: a game of control.
For the victim, however, it's a test of survival.
Whose Face is one short portrait into the lives of the abused and the
abuser. It shows the damage done to children. It brings out childhood
issues that might contribute to one's being abused. It provides answers
and courage to take the steps to safety, to life.
Schwartz's no-nonsense approach is a wakeup call to women who are
being abused. She challenges the many abuse victims in today's world to
look in the mirror and recognize the part they play in being abused. For
without a victim, the abuser cannot abuse. She exposes the lies that litter
an abusive relationship, such as:
* He will change.
* We cause him to be angry and abusive.
* We want people to like our spouse (so we cover for him).
* I'm nothing without him.
* I can't make it on my own.
* I deserve to be beaten. I'm useless.
* All men are terrible.
* No other man will be attracted to me.
* I stay because I love him.
* My children need their father.
Schwartz doesn't stop there. For every lie, she exposes the truth and gives
real-world answers to getting out and staying safe.
In Part Three of Whose Face, Schwartz details the healing process,
including recognizing the signs of an abuser. More importantly, she
educates women, through her own process of healing, of how to recognize
if they are attracted to an abuser. Some of the personality traits an abuser
attracter might have are:
* The need to rescue.

* Accepting abuse during the dating stage.
* A dysfunctional family history of verbal or physical abuse.
Schwartz goes several steps further and looks into the effects our abuse
may be having on our children. Are we setting our children up to be either
abused or to be an abuser?
Healing from abuse is not something to be done alone. Schwartz's life
example illustrates the importance of therapy and recognizing a Higher
Power - in Schwartz's case, that power is God. Through therapy and God,
she discovered her passion in life and finally recognized whose face was in
the mirror. After 42 years of living with self-hatred, this woman chose to
heal, and to share her journey to self-love.
Today, Schwartz is the founder and president of Educating Against
Domestic Violence, a nonprofit organization providing assistance to
battered persons. She is happily and healthily married and continues to
heal, as are her children.
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