There Is Nothing Wrong with You:
Going Beyond Self-Hate by Cheri
Huber
Excellent!
This book reveals the origin of self-hate, how self-hate works, how to
identify it, and how to go beyond it. It provides examples of some of the
forms self-hate takes, including taking blame but not credit, holding
grudges, and trying to be perfect, and explores the many facets of self-
hate, including its role in addiction, the battering cycle, and the illusion of
control. After addressing these factors, it illustrates how a meditation
practice can be developed and practiced in efforts to free oneself from self-
hating beliefs.
Personal Review: There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going
Beyond Self-Hate by Cheri Huber

I am very pleased to see all of the powerfully positive reviews given about
this book. And I concur with the best of them: This book has been life
changing to me, it is my Bible, it is by far the best spiritual and Buddhist
book I have read, (I think you get the idea now). And Cheri Huber is the
best, most practical and realistic spiritual teacher I have come across. I
consider myself a student even though I only met her once at a talk in
Harrisburg, PA earlier this year.
In my personal experience as a committed Buddhist and Bodhisattva
(Buddhist spiritual warrior), everything Cheri says in her book is absolutely
true. It has taken some courage on my part to find this out for myself, but
there is absolutely nothing, no past, current, or future thought, act, or
experience, that is beyond the realm of or undeserving of compassion.
Self-acceptance no matter what! Period !
Perhaps the only other ingredient here is self-honesty and a willingness to
uncover and embrace our negative shadows. Do this as Cheri teaches,
and these negative traits will, over time, just fall away. This is quite
counterintuitive from what we have learned during our conditioned
upbringing, and counter to the very toxic Judeo-Christian (and Moslem)
notion that we are somehow broken and salvation can only come from
outside of us.
A favorite passage ([...]) - "We do not need to beat, punish, chastise,
berate, and belittle ourselves and we never did. THE IRONIC TWIST IS
THAT PUNISHING OURSELVES IS WHAT KEEPS US FROM SEEING
THAT WE DON'T NEED TO PUNISH OURSELVES. If we can ever
become aware and willing enough to break the internal battering cycle and
NOT INDULGE IN THE BEATING, we can begin to see how this is so. It
takes courage and patience and faith in our inherent goodness."
Another wonderful quote I use for guidance [...] - "Everything you need to
know will come to you in compassion".
I would like to make one recommendation that goes beyond the content of
this book, however. If you have suffered from serious trauma such as
abuse or abandonment during infancy, there will be elements in your
psyche, often manifesting somatically (as distress or tension somewhere in
your body), that will need other modalities beyond meditation and self-
acceptance work to completely heal. Some of these modalities include
somatic psychotherapies such as Hakomi ([...]) and Sensorimotor
("Trauma and the Body" by Pat Ogden, et al.) psychotherapy which can
uncover and heal traumas that happened during preverbal times of you
life, which insight meditation may not be able to reach.
Some other of Cheri Huber's book that I wholehearted recommend include:
"The Fear Book", "There is Nothing Wrong With You For Teens". "Time-
Out For Parents: A Guide to Compassionate Parenting", "That Which You

Are Seeking Is Causing You to Seek", and "The Key: And the Name of The
Key is Willingness".
I'd also suggest a couple of other Buddhist authors you might like to read:
Pema Chodron (all of her several books are very good) and Tara Brach -
"Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha". I
find it interesting that my 3 favorite Buddhist authors are female: their
books are just much more practical and earthy than any male Buddhist
authors I have read (I admit there are a number male Buddhist of authors I
have not read).
Pema Chodron talks a lot about approaching life as a Bodhisattva
(Buddhist spiritual warrior). One of her major premises is following the
natural ebb and flow of spiritual challenges and growth. A movement
forward into new challenges and situations, the unknown, balanced with
the ability to retreat, to nuture yourself completely with deep compassion
when you decide not to venture forward. I find this approach very helpful
for myself, you practice courage, but at other time you completely take
yourself off-the-hook for any perceived limitations you have. With this
approach there is always self-acceptance and you will find that you will
naturally and almost effortlessly be willing to take on new challenges.
Tara Brach's book is a nice treatice an self-acceptance and gives
instructions on some wonderful meditations (e.g., Lovingkindness; Self-
compassion meditation) that can be helpful along the path of self-
acceptance and acceptance of all things. But I find that Tara is a bit
conditional when she discusses self-acceptance while Cheri Huber
stresses complete unconditional self-acceptance. And, of course, Cheri is
correct.
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