A Zondervan Corp sales person with an overstock of new NIV Bibles to sell may tell you, "Do not listen to the 'KJV-Only!' crowd." He may tell you that King James I of Great Britain was "a flaming, red-haired homosexual Scot who nearly every weekend buggered the members of his own Privy Council."
Okay, maybe that's true. But should we therefore suspect that a flaming "King James Version Only" man, such as the Rev. Marion "Pat" Robertson, is homosexual as well? I think not! I cannot believe that Pat Robertson is a closeted gay just because he strongly prefers the so-called "Sodomy-tolerant" KJV. That Pat suffers from a deep homosexual panic about the very possibility of closeted gayness? Okay, sure. But can you blame him? How would you like to have spent your puberty and Saturday nights in the dorms and closets of an all-boys military school in Tennessee if you were a cute teenaged, sexually ambiguous, youth named "Marion"? Truly, if the atheists and homosexuals of this world knew one tenth of what the bullies at that military school put him through, such as the nickname, "Minnie Mouse," then I think they'd better understand Pat Robertson's passion to "ride with the king" - with King James, that is!
But let me add this, in Pat's defense: if King James and Pat Robertson should ever meet in Heaven, it will not be Marion "Pat" Robertson who is the first one to say, "Tickle me Elmo!" I know Pat well enough to vouch that he would never ask another man to tickle his elmo; or another woman, for that matter. If anyone tickles Pat Robertson's elmo, it will be Pat himself.
Besides, King James did not personally translate the "King James" Version. As the King of England, James merely put up the cash for the fifty British scholars who did the actual work - most of whom, granted, were gayer than Truman Capote on a spring day in Amsterdam. That interesting historical fact may explain why the allegedly "homo-tolerant" Authorised Version goes easy on the biblical heroes, David and Jonathan, and on the prophet Daniel, and the apostle John; but it can shed no light on the Marion Pat Robertson mystery, nor will the behavior of those fifty dissolute KJV translators ever get Pat to change his position. For one thing, they're dead. Seriously, in these "end times," when Jesus could be returning at any minute, it would be a mistake for English readers to reject the Authorised Version of the Bible simply on whatever nagging doubts they may have concerning the Jacobean nature of Rev. Pat Robertson's concealed sexual proclivities.
--L.
less
0 comments
Post a comment