Beyond Anger: A Guide for Men: How
to Free Yourself from the Grip of
Anger and Get More Out of Life by
Thomas J. Harbin
Great Read - Especially If You Don't Feel You Really Have An Anger Problem
Its not a new idea that men tend to express their anger differently than
women do. Years of research have shown that men-for many different and
complex reasons-are often more violent and less willing to confront and
deal with their emotions than women. Now Beyond Anger shows the
angry-and miserable-man how to change his life and relationships for the
better. Dr. Thomas J. Harbin helps men understand their anger by
explaining what the specific symptoms of chronic anger are and by
showing angry men how their actions negatively affect family, friends and
co-workers. He offers simple exercises-developed especially for men-that
will help men to control their violent feelings, identify when and why they
get angry, and to form new habits to prevent anger before it starts.
Women, too, will learn essential strategies for understanding and helping

the angry men in their lives. Beyond Anger is: * Honest. Thomas J.
Harbin has had to come to terms with his own anger problems, so he
understands exactly what angry men are going through.
* Tough. The book doesnt let anyone off the hook. It demands that angry
men learn to take charge, stop making excuses, and get their anger under
control.
* Real. The book includes the stories of angry men who have learned to
recognize their problems and use the books techniques successfully.
Free of fancy doctor talk and complicated theories, Beyond Anger talks
to men in everyday language and provides a wealth of important
resources. It is an invaluable guide for the many men struggling to come
to terms with their inner battles and to take positive action, and for
everyone who has an angry man in their life.
Personal Review: Beyond Anger: A Guide for Men: How to Free
Yourself from the Grip of Anger and Get More Out of Life by
Thomas J. Harbin
To give you some background -- the only reason I even began looking for
an anger management book was to get my spouse to quit bugging me
about occasionally losing my temper. I NEVER became physically
aggressive with her or anyone else for that matter, but even I had to admit
I got in my fair share of verbal arguments with people and lost my cool
more times than I wanted to (even though a lot of times I felt I was
provoked). In addition to the nagging from the spouse, I still felt that other
people handled similar situations better than I did, so I felt it couldn't hurt to
read a book on anger management. The reason I picked this book in
particular was because it was written by a man who had an anger issue, so
I felt like I was picking up knowledge from someone who at least had a
chance of understanding what life as a man was like and who wouldn't
write in a way that I felt judged me. Also, the reviews here on Amazon
described some situations similar than mine so I felt it might be a
worthwhile read. Let me tell you, it was more than a worthwhile read -- this
book provided life changing perspective. Again, let me go back to the fact
that I never felt I had an anger issue -- in a worst case scenario I felt I was
a guy who was at times uptight, and many times misunderstood.
Reading through this book, for the first time in my life I felt I was
understood, and I felt this book helped me understand myself. There were
things the author talked about in the book which I would have never in my
wildest dreams associated with having an anger issue (ie Feeling guilty
when you're not productive and busy 100% of your waking hours), and
things I felt which just had to do with a natural tendency to be a little uptight
(ie walking through life feeling you're like always at "war" with your guard
up) ... but here I was, reading a book on anger management, and page by
page I felt I was reading about me.

One of the most valuable chapters for me was on "mind reading" -- that is,
assuming what other people are thinking about you and / or things that you
have done, and letting it piss you off to no end. Before I read this book I
had no idea how often I was "mind reading" -- now, I catch myself doing it,
I stop myself from "mind reading" and its unbelievable how many FEWER
arguments I get in and how much happier I am.
Just perspective alone on some of my daily life issues put me very much at
ease with myself. I wasn't an uptight / anti-social guy ... I was a person
who never learned a healthy way to vent or release normal levels of anger
which one experiences just living life. Do I still occasionally blow my top or
get pissed off? Sure, once in a rare while -- but nowhere near what I used
to, and with nowhere near the venom of my pre-Beyond Anger outbursts.
More than anything else the understanding of myself that this book
provided really has increased the amount of happiness in my life
exponentially. I had happy moments before I read this book, but I'm not
sure I would have ever described myself as a generally happy person ...
but after reading this book I have to say, I am happy and the people
around me are happy.
Even if you don't think you have an anger issue, but you feel you probably
get in more arguments with people than you would like or you don't
describe yourself as a generally happy person -- for you, I highly
recommend this book and I hope you get as much out of it as I did. This
book was truly life changing for me.
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