To give you some background -- the only reason I even began looking for an anger management book was to get my spouse to quit bugging me about occasionally losing my temper. I NEVER became physically aggressive with her or anyone else for that matter, but even I had to admit I got in my fair share of verbal arguments with people and lost my cool more times than I wanted to (even though a lot of times I felt I was provoked). In addition to the nagging from the spouse, I still felt that other people handled similar situations better than I did, so I felt it couldn't hurt to read a book on anger management. The reason I picked this book in particular was because it was written by a man who had an anger issue, so I felt like I was picking up knowledge from someone who at least had a chance of understanding what life as a man was like and who wouldn't write in a way that I felt judged me. Also, the reviews here on Amazon described some situations similar than mine so I felt it might be a worthwhile read. Let me tell you, it was more than a worthwhile read -- this book provided life changing perspective. Again, let me go back to the fact that I never felt I had an anger issue -- in a worst case scenario I felt I was a guy who was at times uptight, and many times misunderstood.
Reading through this book, for the first time in my life I felt I was understood, and I felt this book helped me understand myself. There were things the author talked about in the book which I would have never in my wildest dreams associated with having an anger issue (ie Feeling guilty when you're not productive and busy 100% of your waking hours), and things I felt which just had to do with a natural tendency to be a little uptight (ie walking through life feeling you're like always at "war" with your guard up) ... but here I was, reading a book on anger management, and page by page I felt I was reading about me.
One of the most valuable chapters for me was on "mind reading" -- that is, assuming what other people are thinking about you and / or things that you have done, and letting it piss you off to no end. Before I read this book I had no idea how often I was "mind reading" -- now, I catch myself doing it, I stop myself from "mind reading" and its unbelievable how many FEWER arguments I get in and how much happier I am.
Just perspective alone on some of my daily life issues put me very much at ease with myself. I wasn't an uptight / anti-social guy ... I was a person who never learned a healthy way to vent or release normal levels of anger which one experiences just living life. Do I still occasionally blow my top or get pissed off? Sure, once in a rare while -- but nowhere near what I used to, and with nowhere near the venom of my pre-Beyond Anger outbursts. More than anything else the understanding of myself that this book provided really has increased the amount of happiness in my life exponentially. I had happy moments before I read this book, but I'm not sure I would have ever described myself as a generally happy person ... but after reading this book I have to say, I am happy and the people around me are happy.
Even if you don't think you have an anger issue, but you feel you probably get in more arguments with people than you would like or you don't describe yourself as a generally happy person -- for you, I highly recommend this book and I hope you get as much out of it as I did. This book was truly life changing for me.
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