Putting humpty together again

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Friday, October 11, 2013
3:30pm - 5pm

Conflict resolvers are often called upon to assist individuals with conflict situations through one on one conversations. This workshop employs a conflict transformation coaching model to focus on practical strategies that can increase effectiveness in this arena. These techniques provide pathways for helping clients change their conflict behaviors and affect more peaceful interactions in their personal and
professional lives. Insights and examples from practice stories and interviews will augment specific skill- building exercises for envisioning and executing these new actions.

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Putting humpty together again

  1. 1. PUTTING HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN: Making Peace Happen Through Conflict Transformation Coaching ACR 2013 Conference Workshop Kay Julien, Ph.D. Copyright © 2011 Dorothy J. Della Noce, J.D., Ph.D., & Kay Julien, Ph.D. Please do not reproduce or circulate without express permission.
  2. 2. CONFLICT COACHING: THE TRANSFORMATIVE FRAMEWORK Coaching: “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential” (The International Coaching Federation). Conflict coaching: a process for helping clients build the personal resources to deal effectively with conflict. • Coach  focuses  on  helping   the  client  build  personal   resources  to  manage   con6lict   Coach   • Client  discusses   experiences  with  coach   • Con6lict  "stories"   Client   • Con6lict  interactions  are   "outside  the  room"   • Con6lict  management   efforts  take  place   "outside  the  room"   Others  involved   in  con6lict  
  3. 3. CONFLICT TRANSFORMATION THEORY IN A NUTSHELL Conflict is a crisis in human interaction. Human experience of conflict: The occurrence of conflict tends to destabilize the parties’ experience of both self and other. The destabilized experience of self and other has two dimensions: relative weakness (confusion, fear, disorganization, vulnerability, powerlessness, uncertainty, indecisiveness) and relative self-absorption (self-protection, defensiveness, suspicion, hostility, closed-mindedness). Destructive cycle: When people in conflict are interacting, the negative dynamics often feed into each other in a vicious cycle that intensifies each participant’s sense of weakness and self-absorption. As a result, the interaction between the participants quickly degenerates and assumes a mutually destructive, alienating, and dehumanizing character. Constructive cycle: People have the ability to change the quality of the conflict interaction. Specifically, people can and do make dynamic shifts along two dimensions while conflict unfolds. Empowerment is the shift toward increasing clarity, confidence, personal strength, organization, decisiveness. Recognition is the shift toward increasing attentiveness to other, responsiveness to other, openness to the other’s humanity, and appreciation for the other's situation. Thus, despite conflict’s potentially destructive impacts, people have the capacity to move back into their sense of personal strength or self-confidence (the empowerment shift) and their sense of openness or responsiveness to the other (the recognition shift). As these positive shifts feed into each other, the interaction can regenerate and assume a constructive, connecting, and humanizing character. Third parties and other helpers in conflict, like coaches, can help foster these transformative shifts. Empowerment Recognition Autonomy Agency Independence Empathy Compassion Interdependence The Empowerment Shift From relative weakness to relative strength The Recognition Shift From relatively self-absorbed to relatively open and responsive to the other
  4. 4. WHY CONFLICT TRANSFORMATION THEORY IN COACHING? What brings people to conflict coaching is a desire to change the way they engage in conflict interactions. Specifically, we see a desire to improve one’s own ability to express and assert oneself, as well as a desire to improve the way one relates to others. Empowerment and recognition support the client’s efforts at making desired changes (arrows in graphic below). Empowerment & recognition in the client’s conflict interactions Empowerment & recognition in the helping relationship In the coaching conversations (the helping relationship), the coach supports the possibility of conflict transformation (constructive change in the quality of the client’s conflict interactions) by supporting the client’s efforts at self-empowerment and extending recognition to others.
  5. 5. WHAT DOES PRACTICE LOOK LIKE? Iterative cycles of the “helping” conversation: Empowerment and recognition can be considered the driving forces that help the cycles to unfold. The coach does not need to direct movement from cycle to cycle; he or she need only attend to empowerment and recognition. The cycles can be thought of as activities that will take shape in any coaching conversation if the coach attends to empowerment and recognition. Activity within the cycles will naturally occur (and recur) in a unique sequence for each coaching conversation. There is no wrong direction through the cycles. Cycles can develop and unfold in any order, and can recur again and again. Building  a  relational  context   (how  will  we  have  this   conversation?)   Exploring  the   situation   (what  is  this   about  now?)   Gaining  insight     (what  does  this  mean?)   Envisioning   action     (what  can  be   different?)  
  6. 6. WORKSHEET Coaching Competencies Competency Area Practice Insights Support for E&R? Coach’s Role Goal of Practice “Map” of Process “Movement” through Process Opening Conversation Notice Investigate Renovate Choose Communication Skills Listening/Attending Reflecting Summarizing Questioning Brainstorming Informing Explaining Suggesting
  7. 7. SELECTED BIBLIOGRAPHY Antes, J. R., Hudson, D. T., Jorgensen, E. O., & Moen, J. K. (1999). Is a stage model of mediation necessary? Mediation Quarterly, 16(3), 287-301. Antes, J. R., Folger, J. P., & Della Noce, D. J. (2001). Transforming conflict interactions in the workplace: Documented effects of the USPS REDRESS™ program. Hofstra Labor & Employment Law Journal, 18(2), 429-467. Beal, S., & Saul, J. A. (2001). Examining assumptions: Training mediators for transformative practice. In J. P. Folger & R. A. B. Bush (Eds.), Designing mediation: Approaches to training and practice within a transformative framework (pp. 9-19). New York: Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation. Bush, R. A. B. (2001). Handling workplace conflict: Why transformative mediation? Hofstra Labor & Employment Law Journal, 18(2), 367-373. Bush, R. A. B., & Folger, J. P. (1994). The Promise of Mediation: Responding to conflict through empowerment and recognition. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. Bush, R. A. B., & Folger, J. P. (2005). The Promise of Mediation: Responding to conflict through empowerment and recognition. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. [New and revised 2d edition). Della Noce, D. J. (2001). Mediation as a transformative process: Insights on structure and movement. In J. P. Folger & R. A. B. Bush (Eds.), Designing mediation: Approaches to training and practice within a transformative framework (pp.71-95). New York: Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation. Della Noce, D. J. (2001). Recognition in theory, practice and training. In J. P. Folger & R. A. B. Bush (Eds.), Designing mediation: Approaches to training and practice within a transformative framework (pp. 96-111). New York: Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation. Della Noce, D. J. (2004). From practice to theory to practice: A brief retrospective on the transformative mediation model. Ohio State Journal on Dispute Resolution, 19(3), 925- 935. Della Noce, D. J. (2010). Shifts, fractures, and supports: A communication perspective on conflict transformation. In J. P. Folger, R. A. B. Bush, & D. J. Della Noce (Eds.),
  8. 8. Transformative mediation: A sourcebook (pp. 145-164). Hempstead, NY: The Association for Conflict Resolution & The Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation. Della Noce, D. J., Antes, J. R., Bush, R. A. B., & Saul, J. A. (2008). Signposts and crossroads: A model for live action mediator assessment. Ohio State Journal on Dispute Resolution, 23(2), 197-230. Della Noce, D. J., Bush, R. A. B., & Folger, J. P. (2001). Myths and misconceptions about the transformative orientation. In J. P. Folger & R. A. B. Bush (Eds.), Designing mediation: Approaches to training and practice within a transformative framework (pp. 50-54). New York: Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation. Della Noce, D. J., & Prein, H. C. M. (2010). The case for transformation: A review of theoretical and empirical support. In J. P. Folger, R. A. B. Bush, & D. J. Della Noce (Eds.), Transformative mediation: A sourcebook (pp. 93-124). Hempstead, NY: The Association for Conflict Resolution & The Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation. Folger, J. P. (2001). Mediation research: Studying transformative effects. Hofstra Labor & Employment Law Journal, 18(2), 385-397. Folger, J. P. (2001). Who owns what in mediation? Seeing the link between process and content. In J. P. Folger & R. A. B. Bush (Eds.), Designing mediation: Approaches to training and practice within a transformative framework (pp. 55-60). New York: Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation. Folger, J. P., & Bush, R. A. B. (1994). Ideology, orientations to conflict, and mediation discourse. In J. P. Folger & T. S. Jones (Eds.), New directions in mediation: Communication research and perspectives (pp. 3-25). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. Folger, J. P., & Bush, R. A. B. (1996). Transformative mediation and third party intervention: Ten hallmarks of a transformative approach to practice. Mediation Quarterly, 13(4), 263-278. Folger, J. P., & Bush, R. A. B. (Eds.). (2001). Designing mediation: Approaches to training and practice within a tranformative framework. New York: Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation. Folger, J. P., & Bush, R. A. B. (2001). Developing transformative training: A view from the inside. In J. P. Folger & R. A. B. Bush (Eds.), Designing mediation: Approaches to training and practice within a transformative framework (pp. 168-182). New York: Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation.
  9. 9. Folger, J. P., Bush, R. A. B., & Della Noce, D. J. (Eds.) (2010). Transformative mediation: A sourcebook. Hempstead, NY: Association for Conflict Resolution & The Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation. Grillo, T. (1996). Respecting the struggle: Following the parties’ lead. Mediation Quarterly, 13(4), 279-286. Hargie, O. (2006). The handbook of communication skills (3d ed.). London: Routledge. Hill, C.E. (2009). Helping skills: Facilitating exploration, insight, and action (3d ed.). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. Hudson, D. T., & Antes, J. R. (2001). Transformative mediation at work: A case study from the REDRESS™ program. The Journal of Alternative Dispute Resolution in Employment, 3(2), 41-47. Jorgensen, E. O., Moen, J. K., Antes, J. R., Hudson, D. T., & Hendrickson, L. H. (2001). Microfocus in mediation: The what and how of transformative opportunities. In J. P. Folger & R. A. B. Bush (Eds.), Designing mediation: Approaches to training and practice within a transformative framework (pp. 133-149). New York: Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation. Latham, G. P. (2007). Theory and research on coaching practices. Australian Psychologist, 42(4), 268-270. Liljenstrand, A.M., & Nebeker, D.M. (2008). Coaching services: A look at coaches, clients, and practices. Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research, 60(1), 57–77. Lowman, R.L. (2007). Coaching and consulting in multicultural contexts: Integrating themes and issues. Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research, 59(4), 296 –303. Mathison, C., & Pohan, C.A. (2007) Helping experienced and future teachers build professional interaction skills through the writing and reading of narratives. Issues in Teacher Education, 16(1), 61-73. Moen, F., & Allgood, E. (2009). Coaching and the effect on self-efficacy. Organization Development Journal, 27(4), 69-81. Moen, J. K., Hudson, D. T., Antes, J. R., Jorgensen, E. O., & Hendrikson, L. H. (2001). Identifying opportunities for empowerment and recognition in mediation. In J. P. Folger & R. A. B. Bush (Eds.), Designing mediation: Approaches to training and practice within a transformative framework (pp. 112-132). New York: Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation.
  10. 10. Napoli, L. M. (2001). USPS supervisors and perceptions of conflict management techniques. In Mediation at work: The report of the national REDRESS™ evaluation project (pp. 125-148). Bloomington, IN: The Indiana Conflict Resolution Institute. Pope, S. G. (1996). Inviting fortuitous events in mediation: The role of empowerment and recognition. Mediation Quarterly, 13(4), 287-294. Pope, S. G. (2001). Beginning the mediation: Party participation promotes empowerment and recognition. In J. P. Folger & R. A. B. Bush (Eds.), Designing mediation: Approaches to training and practice within a transformative framework (pp. 85-95). New York: Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation. Pope, S. G., & Bush, R. A. B. (2001). Understanding conflict and human capacity: The role of premises in mediation training. In J. P. Folger & R. A. B. Bush (Eds.), Designing mediation: Approaches to training and practice within a transformative framework (pp. 61-67). New York: Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation.

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