Dealing with Difficult People Presented by Human Resources Programs Art Flores, AVP HR Programs
Agenda for Today’s Workshop <ul><li>Introductions </li></ul><ul><li>Identifying your Personality/Communication Style </li>...
Personality Matrix <ul><li>Take a few minutes to complete this exercise before we proceed </li></ul>
<ul><li>FINDING YOUR  BEHAVIORAL STYLE </li></ul><ul><li>PASSIVE/DOMINANT AXIS </li></ul><ul><li>PLACE AN “X” ON THE PASSI...
The Personality Matrix <ul><li>Identifying Your Personality </li></ul><ul><li>Supporter </li></ul><ul><li>Promoter </li></...
Supporter <ul><li>Characteristics </li></ul><ul><li>Advantages </li></ul><ul><li>Pitfalls </li></ul>
Recognizing Supporters <ul><li>Slow at making decisions </li></ul><ul><li>Likes close, personal relationships </li></ul><u...
What Do Supporters Want? <ul><li>Motivated by stability </li></ul><ul><li>People Oriented </li></ul><ul><li>Often perceive...
Recognizing Analytic Style <ul><li>Cautious actions and decisions </li></ul><ul><li>Likes organization and structure </li>...
What do Analytics Want? <ul><li>Motivated by logic, details </li></ul><ul><li>Attends to key directives </li></ul><ul><li>...
Recognizing Promoter Style <ul><li>Very expressive and spontaneous </li></ul><ul><li>Likes involvement with others </li></...
Promoters-What They Want <ul><li>Motivated by recognition </li></ul><ul><li>Likes people contact – People oriented </li></...
Recognizing Controller Style <ul><li>Decisive actions and decisions </li></ul><ul><li>Needs freedom to manage himself and ...
What do Controller Styles Want? <ul><li>Motivated by time </li></ul><ul><li>Gets immediate results – Task oriented </li></...
Understanding Difficult Behavior <ul><li>People have different motivations </li></ul><ul><li>People have different needs <...
How to Deal with Different Personalities <ul><li>The “Sherman Tank” </li></ul><ul><li>The “Exploder” </li></ul><ul><li>The...
How They Behave <ul><li>“ Sherman Tank” – Attack, abusive, intimidating and contemptuous manner </li></ul><ul><li>“ The Ex...
Sherman Tank <ul><li>Stand up to them but don’t get into a fight – Don’t argue </li></ul><ul><li>Give them time to run dow...
The Exploder <ul><li>Get them to wind down and then switch to problem solving mode of interaction </li></ul><ul><li>Give t...
The Complainer <ul><li>Insist that issues be handled in a problem solving manner </li></ul><ul><li>Listen to their complai...
The Clam <ul><li>Get them to open up and begin to discuss what they want or what’s bothering them </li></ul><ul><li>Ask op...
The Wet Blanket <ul><li>Engage them in rational problem solving without getting drawn into the negativism or pessimism </l...
The Know-it-All <ul><li>Get them to consider alternatives without directly challenging their alleged expertise </li></ul><...
The Staller <ul><li>Recognize that this is their preferred method of problem solving </li></ul><ul><li>Attempt to engage t...
Case Studies <ul><li>Break into groups  </li></ul><ul><li>Over my Shoulder Michael </li></ul><ul><li>Angry Arlene </li></u...
Exercise – Conflict Questionnaire <ul><li>Twenty Questions </li></ul><ul><li>Scoring </li></ul><ul><li>Conflict Management...
Five Basic Methods for Resolving Conflict <ul><li>Withdrawal </li></ul><ul><li>Smoothing </li></ul><ul><li>Forcing </li></...
Withdrawal <ul><li>Neither the goal nor the relationship are important to you  </li></ul><ul><li>You withdraw from interac...
Withdrawal Method for Resolving Conflict <ul><li>What Happens When Used: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Person Tries to Solve Probl...
Smoothing <ul><li>The relationship is more important than the goal </li></ul><ul><li>You want to be liked and accepted </l...
Smoothing Method for Resolving Conflict <ul><li>What Happens When Used: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Differences are played down;...
Forcing <ul><li>The goal is important but not the relationship.  </li></ul><ul><li>Use all your energy to get the job done...
Forcing Method for Resolving Conflict <ul><li>What Happens When Used: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>One’s authority, position, maj...
Compromise <ul><li>Both goals and relationships are important - but there is a lack of time </li></ul><ul><li>You both gai...
Compromise Method for Resolving Conflict <ul><li>What Happens When Used: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Each party gives us somethi...
Collaboration <ul><li>Goals and relationships are equally important </li></ul><ul><li>You define the conflict as a problem...
Collaboration Method of Resolving Conflict <ul><li>What Happens When Used: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Abilities, values, and ex...
Questions? <ul><li>HR always available to work with you </li></ul><ul><li>Confidentiality </li></ul>
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Training Program - Dealing With Difficult People

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A three hour program that can be used for any group that provides a personality matrix to identify personality traits and how to deal with others

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  • Training Program - Dealing With Difficult People

    1. 1. Dealing with Difficult People Presented by Human Resources Programs Art Flores, AVP HR Programs
    2. 2. Agenda for Today’s Workshop <ul><li>Introductions </li></ul><ul><li>Identifying your Personality/Communication Style </li></ul><ul><li>Identifying the Personality/Communication Style of Others </li></ul><ul><li>Understanding Difficult Behavior </li></ul><ul><li>How to Deal with Different Personalities </li></ul><ul><li>Do’s and Don’ts for Managing Difficult Interactions </li></ul><ul><li>Suggestions for Solving Issues Effectively </li></ul><ul><li>Conflict Management </li></ul><ul><li>Case Studies </li></ul>
    3. 3. Personality Matrix <ul><li>Take a few minutes to complete this exercise before we proceed </li></ul>
    4. 4. <ul><li>FINDING YOUR BEHAVIORAL STYLE </li></ul><ul><li>PASSIVE/DOMINANT AXIS </li></ul><ul><li>PLACE AN “X” ON THE PASSIVE/DOMINANT AXIS FOR EACH QUESTION. NOTE THE FIRST OPTION IS MORE PASSIVE. </li></ul><ul><li>ARE YOU RELATIONSHIP – OR TASK-ORIENTED? </li></ul><ul><li>ARE YOU PASSIVE OR AGGRESSIVE? </li></ul><ul><li>ARE YOU EASY-GOING OR TAKE CHARGE? </li></ul><ul><li>ARE YOU ACCEPTING OR CHALLENGING? </li></ul><ul><li>ARE YOU SUBTLE OR DIRECT? </li></ul><ul><li>ARE YOU QUIET OR TALKATIVE? </li></ul><ul><li>ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT? </li></ul><ul><li>FORMAL/INFORMAL AXIS </li></ul><ul><li>PLACE AN “X” ON THE FORMAL/INFORMAL AXIS FOR EACH QUESTION. NOTE THE FIRST OPTION IS MORE FORMAL. </li></ul><ul><li>ARE YOU DISCIPLINED OR SPONTANEOUS? </li></ul><ul><li>ARE YOU RESERVED OR FUN-LOVING? </li></ul><ul><li>DO YOU WITHHOLD FEELINGS OR EXPRESS THEM? </li></ul><ul><li>ARE YOU CAUTIOUS OR IMPULSIVE? </li></ul><ul><li>ARE YOU COOL OR WARM? </li></ul><ul><li>ARE YOU ORGANIZED OR UNORGANIZED? </li></ul>SUPPORTER PROMOTER ANALYZER CONTROLLER INFORMAL FORMAL PASSIVE DOMINANT
    5. 5. The Personality Matrix <ul><li>Identifying Your Personality </li></ul><ul><li>Supporter </li></ul><ul><li>Promoter </li></ul><ul><li>Analytic </li></ul><ul><li>Controller </li></ul><ul><li>Any Surprises? </li></ul>
    6. 6. Supporter <ul><li>Characteristics </li></ul><ul><li>Advantages </li></ul><ul><li>Pitfalls </li></ul>
    7. 7. Recognizing Supporters <ul><li>Slow at making decisions </li></ul><ul><li>Likes close, personal relationships </li></ul><ul><li>Avoids conflict </li></ul><ul><li>Good listeners </li></ul><ul><li>Seeks security </li></ul><ul><li>Works at a steady pace </li></ul><ul><li>Responsive to others ideas, tries to be fair </li></ul>
    8. 8. What Do Supporters Want? <ul><li>Motivated by stability </li></ul><ul><li>People Oriented </li></ul><ul><li>Often perceived as stubborn </li></ul><ul><li>Demonstrates patience </li></ul><ul><li>Specializes </li></ul><ul><li>Concentrates on task </li></ul><ul><li>Listens well </li></ul><ul><li>Calms excited people </li></ul><ul><li>Performs accepted work pattern </li></ul><ul><li>Fears change </li></ul>
    9. 9. Recognizing Analytic Style <ul><li>Cautious actions and decisions </li></ul><ul><li>Likes organization and structure </li></ul><ul><li>Asks questions, wants detail, relies on data </li></ul><ul><li>Wants intellectual, task-oriented work </li></ul><ul><li>Wants to be right </li></ul><ul><li>Thrifty with time, money </li></ul><ul><li>Works slowly and precisely alone </li></ul>
    10. 10. What do Analytics Want? <ul><li>Motivated by logic, details </li></ul><ul><li>Attends to key directives </li></ul><ul><li>Concentrates on detail – task oriented </li></ul><ul><li>Works best under known conditions </li></ul><ul><li>Diplomatic with people </li></ul><ul><li>Checks for accuracy </li></ul><ul><li>Thinks critically </li></ul><ul><li>Critiques performance </li></ul><ul><li>Complies with authority </li></ul><ul><li>Often perceived as unemotional </li></ul><ul><li>Fears criticism, being wrong </li></ul>
    11. 11. Recognizing Promoter Style <ul><li>Very expressive and spontaneous </li></ul><ul><li>Likes involvement with others </li></ul><ul><li>Dislikes being alone </li></ul><ul><li>Exaggerates and generalizes </li></ul><ul><li>Seeks harmony </li></ul><ul><li>Makes quick decisions </li></ul><ul><li>Wants to belong and have fun! </li></ul><ul><li>Energetic, flexible and charming </li></ul>
    12. 12. Promoters-What They Want <ul><li>Motivated by recognition </li></ul><ul><li>Likes people contact – People oriented </li></ul><ul><li>Makes favorable impression </li></ul><ul><li>Verbalizes, articulates </li></ul><ul><li>Motivates </li></ul><ul><li>Generates enthusiasm </li></ul><ul><li>Entertains – Often perceived as flighty </li></ul><ul><li>Wants to help </li></ul><ul><li>Participates in Groups </li></ul><ul><li>Fears loss of influence </li></ul>
    13. 13. Recognizing Controller Style <ul><li>Decisive actions and decisions </li></ul><ul><li>Needs freedom to manage himself and others </li></ul><ul><li>Cool, keeps emotions to himself </li></ul><ul><li>Competitive, independent </li></ul><ul><li>Believes in “time and place” for personal problems </li></ul><ul><li>Efficient, competent </li></ul>
    14. 14. What do Controller Styles Want? <ul><li>Motivated by time </li></ul><ul><li>Gets immediate results – Task oriented </li></ul><ul><li>Causes action – Problem solver </li></ul><ul><li>Accepts challenges </li></ul><ul><li>Makes quick decisions </li></ul><ul><li>Questions status quo </li></ul><ul><li>Takes authority/control </li></ul><ul><li>Often perceived as rude </li></ul><ul><li>Fears being taken advantage of </li></ul>
    15. 15. Understanding Difficult Behavior <ul><li>People have different motivations </li></ul><ul><li>People have different needs </li></ul><ul><li>People communicate difficult issues differently </li></ul><ul><li>People have different fears </li></ul>
    16. 16. How to Deal with Different Personalities <ul><li>The “Sherman Tank” </li></ul><ul><li>The “Exploder” </li></ul><ul><li>The “Complainer” </li></ul><ul><li>The “Clam” </li></ul><ul><li>The “Wet Blanket” </li></ul><ul><li>The “Know-It-All” </li></ul><ul><li>The “Staller” </li></ul>
    17. 17. How They Behave <ul><li>“ Sherman Tank” – Attack, abusive, intimidating and contemptuous manner </li></ul><ul><li>“ The Exploder” – Temper tantrum. Outbursts filled with rage. Can lose control </li></ul><ul><li>“ The Complainer” – Finds fault with everything </li></ul><ul><li>“ The Clam” – The silent one, a grunt, or just responds yes or no </li></ul><ul><li>“ The Wet Blanket” – Responds with a quick or negative response. “It won’t work” </li></ul><ul><li>“ The Know It All” – The expert on all matters </li></ul><ul><li>“ The Staller” – Habitually indecisive </li></ul>
    18. 18. Sherman Tank <ul><li>Stand up to them but don’t get into a fight – Don’t argue </li></ul><ul><li>Give them time to run down </li></ul><ul><li>Get your point across any reasonable way you can </li></ul><ul><li>Get them to sit down and discuss the problem </li></ul><ul><li>Maintain eye contact </li></ul><ul><li>State your opinions forcefully and without apology </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t try to cut them down </li></ul><ul><li>Be ready to be friendly and receptive to negotiation </li></ul>
    19. 19. The Exploder <ul><li>Get them to wind down and then switch to problem solving mode of interaction </li></ul><ul><li>Give them time to run down and gain self control </li></ul><ul><li>If they don’t, shouting a neutral phrase such as “Stop” or “Quiet, please!” </li></ul><ul><li>Show that you take them and their concerns seriously </li></ul><ul><li>Active listening </li></ul><ul><li>If necessary, suggest moving to private setting for further discussion </li></ul>
    20. 20. The Complainer <ul><li>Insist that issues be handled in a problem solving manner </li></ul><ul><li>Listen to their complaints even if you feel guilty or impatient </li></ul><ul><li>Acknowledge, paraphrase to ensure perceptions are correct </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t agree with or apologize for their complaints </li></ul><ul><li>Avoid the accusation-defense-re-accusation pattern </li></ul><ul><li>State the facts without comment </li></ul><ul><li>Try to move to problem solving mode by asking specific questions, assigning fact-finding tasks, or asking for certain complaints to be put down in writing </li></ul><ul><li>If all else fails, ask the Complainer “How do you want the discussion to end?” </li></ul>
    21. 21. The Clam <ul><li>Get them to open up and begin to discuss what they want or what’s bothering them </li></ul><ul><li>Ask open-ended questions </li></ul><ul><li>Wait for a response </li></ul><ul><li>Do not fill the silence with chatter </li></ul><ul><li>Plan for extra time </li></ul><ul><li>Ask more open-ended questions if no response </li></ul><ul><li>Comment on what is happening in the interaction </li></ul><ul><li>Develop your skills in eye contact </li></ul>
    22. 22. The Wet Blanket <ul><li>Engage them in rational problem solving without getting drawn into the negativism or pessimism </li></ul><ul><li>Make optimistic but realistic statements about past successes in handling similar problems </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t try to argue out of their pessimism </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t offer solutions until problem has been thoroughly discussed </li></ul><ul><li>When alternatives are being discussed, raise questions—offer consequences or outcomes </li></ul><ul><li>View the negativism as problems that can be solved </li></ul><ul><li>Be prepared to take action on your own – Develop plan </li></ul>
    23. 23. The Know-it-All <ul><li>Get them to consider alternatives without directly challenging their alleged expertise </li></ul><ul><li>Do your Homework – They want details </li></ul><ul><li>Listen and paraphrase </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t be dogmatic or over-generalize </li></ul><ul><li>Be tentative in any disagreements-Raise questions </li></ul><ul><li>Ask exploratory questions </li></ul><ul><li>Watch out for your own”Know-it-all” responses </li></ul><ul><li>As a last resort, choose to give in, in order to avoid protracted conflict and build a relationship </li></ul>
    24. 24. The Staller <ul><li>Recognize that this is their preferred method of problem solving </li></ul><ul><li>Attempt to engage them in problem solving </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t take on their problems yourself </li></ul><ul><li>Listen for issues and create problem solving solutions </li></ul><ul><li>If reservations involve you, acknowledge past problem and then proceed with problem solving </li></ul><ul><li>Concentrate on examining the facts of the situation </li></ul><ul><li>Give support for any decision they can offer </li></ul><ul><li>Delineate who is responsible for what in resolving </li></ul><ul><li>problem </li></ul>
    25. 25. Case Studies <ul><li>Break into groups </li></ul><ul><li>Over my Shoulder Michael </li></ul><ul><li>Angry Arlene </li></ul><ul><li>How would you handle? </li></ul><ul><li>Discussion of scenarios </li></ul><ul><li>Conflict Management </li></ul>
    26. 26. Exercise – Conflict Questionnaire <ul><li>Twenty Questions </li></ul><ul><li>Scoring </li></ul><ul><li>Conflict Management Strategies </li></ul><ul><li>Five Basic Methods for Resolving Conflict </li></ul><ul><li>Managing Conflict </li></ul>
    27. 27. Five Basic Methods for Resolving Conflict <ul><li>Withdrawal </li></ul><ul><li>Smoothing </li></ul><ul><li>Forcing </li></ul><ul><li>Compromise </li></ul><ul><li>Collaboration </li></ul>
    28. 28. Withdrawal <ul><li>Neither the goal nor the relationship are important to you </li></ul><ul><li>You withdraw from interaction </li></ul>
    29. 29. Withdrawal Method for Resolving Conflict <ul><li>What Happens When Used: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Person Tries to Solve Problem by Denying Its Existence </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Appropriate to Use When: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Issue is Relatively unimportant; timing is wrong; cooling off is needed </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Inappropriate to Use When: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Issue is important; when issue will not disappear but build </li></ul></ul>
    30. 30. Smoothing <ul><li>The relationship is more important than the goal </li></ul><ul><li>You want to be liked and accepted </li></ul>
    31. 31. Smoothing Method for Resolving Conflict <ul><li>What Happens When Used: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Differences are played down; surface harmony exists. Results in win/lose resentment situation </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Appropriate to Use When: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Issue relatively unimportant, also when preservation of the relationship is more important at the moment </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Inappropriate to Use When: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Reluctance to deal with conflict lead to evasion of an important issue; when others are ready and willing to deal with issue </li></ul></ul>
    32. 32. Forcing <ul><li>The goal is important but not the relationship. </li></ul><ul><li>Use all your energy to get the job done </li></ul>
    33. 33. Forcing Method for Resolving Conflict <ul><li>What Happens When Used: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>One’s authority, position, majority rule, or a persuasive minority settles the conflict. Results in win/lose if the dominated party see no hope for self </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Appropriate to Use When: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>When power comes with position of authority; when this method has been agreed upon </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Inappropriate to Use When: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Losers have no way to express needs; could result in future disruptions </li></ul></ul>
    34. 34. Compromise <ul><li>Both goals and relationships are important - but there is a lack of time </li></ul><ul><li>You both gain and lose something </li></ul>
    35. 35. Compromise Method for Resolving Conflict <ul><li>What Happens When Used: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Each party gives us something in order to midway. Results in win/lose if differences aren’t recognized </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Appropriate to Use When: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Both parties have enough leeway to give; resources are limited; when win/lose stance is undesirable </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Inappropriate to Use When: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Original inflated position is unrealistic; solution is watered down to be effective; commitment is doubted by parties involved </li></ul></ul>
    36. 36. Collaboration <ul><li>Goals and relationships are equally important </li></ul><ul><li>You define the conflict as a problem solving situation </li></ul>
    37. 37. Collaboration Method of Resolving Conflict <ul><li>What Happens When Used: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Abilities, values, and expertise of all are recognized; each person’s position, is clear but emphasis is on group solution. Results in win/win for all </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Appropriate to Use When: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Time is available to complete the process; parties are committed and trained in use of the process </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Inappropriate to Use When: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>The conditions of time, abilities, and commitment are not present </li></ul></ul>
    38. 38. Questions? <ul><li>HR always available to work with you </li></ul><ul><li>Confidentiality </li></ul>
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