A guide to good communication skills even if you are shy
A guide to good communication skills even if you are shy.Good communication skills are extremely important to have, through your entire life span,and in every possible situation you can think of. If you consider yourself to be shy in nature, Iurge you to get over it.People are shy for many reasons, they may have a withdrawn personality, be insecure, feellike they arent good at socializing, have a hard time expressing themselves, and so on.People who are shy, usually do not like the fact that people point out that they are shy, quiet,or both, and chalk it up to " Thats just the way I am."However, the sad reality is that if you dont open up, voice your opinions, and learn to bemore outgoing, your communication skills will suffer. If your communication skills are pooryou will experience a great deal of trouble in your personal, working, and generalrelationships. You may have even noticed that being shy causes you aggravation in your dayto day life.Some people experience bouts of shyness, for instance, someone who might normally beout going, may be afraid of public speaking, or talking to their boss, or talking to a member ofthe opposite sex--- you get the idea.Bad communication ....be it written, oral, or body language, can send the wrong message inmore ways than one. Most people would rather be around those who are easy tocommunicate with, and are open, than those who need "special treatment" like shy people.Here are some tips that will improve your communication skills:In a conversation, really listen. You can show you are really listening my smiling, tilting yourhead to the side, nodding, inserting signs/words of agreement and so on. If you want peopleto hear you, you need to hear them.Have good body language. Stand up straight, it will show confidence. Smile , you will seemapproachable. Dont cross your arms over your chest, this tells people you disapprove. Keepyour hands to your side, or if you are sitting, keep them in your lap.When having a serious conversation with your boss, or a higher up, always turn a negativeinto a positive... for instance, if your boss says, I heard that they work pretty slowly, youshould say something like " Thats true, they didnt meet the original deadline, but the finalproduct was of really high quality." I know its easy to vent, and skip adding a positive in, butemployers want you to be a "yes" person, not a complainer.Have confidence when you speak. If you are shy AND quiet, project your voice. Always lookthe person in the eye when you are speaking to them. If you avert your gaze, you will look
nervous and not trust worthy. Never turn your head away from someone when you arespeaking to them, it may show them you dont care enough to give them your full attention,and it will make it harder for the other person to hear what you are saying. Dont mumble andenunciate your words. Even if you feel intimidated, make sure you project your voice enoughso that you are being clear. If someone has to keep asking " Im sorry, I cant hear you, whatdid you say?" They will get irritated with you and the conversation. If you arent sure how yousound to people when you are talking, record yourself and listen really closely to how yousound. Then pick out the areas you need to improve upon and get to work.Dont let people intimidate you. If you feel intimidated by someone you are in a conversationwith, DO NOT let it show. Think before you speak. Speak in an even tone of voice.Never answer with " I dont know". This will make others feel like you dont care enough togive a response, or that you arent knowledgeable enough to answer. When people askquestions, they want answers. If someone puts you on the spot, you dont have to answerthem right then and there. Say something like " Im in the middle of something, can I get backto you?" or " I dont want to ill advise you, let me find out for you."In written communication, always be clear. Before you send an e-mail, or any type of writtencommunication, read over it AT LEAST once, to be sure it makes sense. If you arent sure itsclear, have someone else read it before you send it. Avoid spelling and grammar mistakes.Write in clear, concise, declarative English. Written forms of communication can be tricky,because there is no way to put your tone of voice in, so if you feel like you are writing amessage on a touchy subject that could be misconstrued, its probably best to have a face toface conversation.The most important part of having good communication, especially if you are shy, is toremain relaxed, open, and confident. This will give you the appearance of being easy-going.People like to communicate with easy going people, because its easier to communicate withthem! Its all about confidence. If you are confident in yourself, you will automatically speakmore clearly and have better communication than someone who is not confident ( and quiet,shy, and mumbles, etc). You simply have to say to yourself " I QUIT BEING SHY" and GETOVER IT.