The Leader’s Journey

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  • The Leader’s Journey

    1. 2. The Leader’s Journey Accepting the Call to Personal and Congregational Transformation
    2. 10. Beyond the Problem Focus <ul><li>Observing self more </li></ul><ul><li>Thinking through our own principles </li></ul><ul><li>Attending to our needs and interests </li></ul><ul><li>Attending to our own adult relationships </li></ul><ul><li>Seeing the part played by nuclear and extended family systems </li></ul><ul><li>Seeing the part we play in the problem in the organization </li></ul><ul><li>Maintaining positive emotional contact with others </li></ul><ul><li>Working with others around the problem based on facts and thoughtfulness </li></ul>
    3. 11. About Theory
    4. 12. How Successful Leaders Think: Organizations are Living Systems <ul><li>Concept 1: Triangles </li></ul><ul><li>Concept 2: Scale of Differentiation of Self </li></ul><ul><li>Concept 3: Nuclear Family Emotional System </li></ul><ul><li>Concept 4: Multigenerational Emotional System </li></ul><ul><li>Concept 5: Family Projection Process </li></ul><ul><li>Concept 6: Sibling Position </li></ul><ul><li>Concept 7: Cutoff </li></ul><ul><li>Concept 8: Societal Emotional Process </li></ul><ul><li>Concept 9: The Spiritual Journey </li></ul>
    5. 13. When one person make some basic changes, the whole system does.
    6. 14. Murray Bowen: <ul><li>“ When any key member of an emotional system can </li></ul><ul><li>control his own emotional reactiveness and </li></ul><ul><li>accurately observe the functioning of the system and his part in it, and </li></ul><ul><li>he can avoid counter-attacking when he is provoked, and </li></ul><ul><li>when he can maintain an active relationship with the other key members without withdrawing or becoming silent, (then) </li></ul><ul><li>the entire system will change in a series of predictable steps.” </li></ul>
    7. 15. A B C = D Linear Thinking
    8. 16. A B C D Multiple Causation
    9. 17. A B C D Systems Thinking
    10. 18. Two Variables At Work <ul><li>Level of Emotional Maturity </li></ul><ul><li>Level of Anxiety and Tension </li></ul>
    11. 19. Emotional Reactivity The capacity to react without thinking
    12. 20. The Triune Brain
    13. 21. Anxiety Reaction to threat or perceived threat
    14. 22. Acute Anxiety Reaction to threat that is REAL and TIME-LIMITED
    15. 23. Chronic Anxiety Reaction to threat that is IMAGINED or EXAGGERATED and NOT TIME-LIMITED
    16. 24. Chronic Anxiety <ul><li>Imagined or Exaggerated </li></ul><ul><li>Not time-limited </li></ul><ul><li>Ambient level in a family’s life </li></ul><ul><li>May begin with an acute crisis </li></ul><ul><li>Develops a life of its own </li></ul><ul><li>Requires two poles to function </li></ul><ul><li>Additive </li></ul><ul><li>Contagious (actually, everything is contagious) </li></ul>
    17. 25. Characteristics of an Anxious System
    18. 26. Characteristics of an Anxious System <ul><li>Heightened Reactivity </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Automatic </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Instinctive </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Interruptions </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Thinking for each other </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Finishing sentences </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Take things personally </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Make things personal </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Organizes around the least mature member </li></ul></ul>
    19. 27. Characteristics of an Anxious System <ul><li>Herding Instinct </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Pressure to conformity </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Discouraging dissent </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Peace over progress </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>B&W, all-or-nothing thinking </li></ul></ul>
    20. 28. Characteristics of an Anxious System <ul><li>Blame Displacement </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Looking outward for explanations rather than inward </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Victim attitude </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Diagnosing, focusing on others </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Failure to take responsibility </li></ul></ul>
    21. 29. Genesis 3 The Blame Game
    22. 30. Characteristics of an Anxious System <ul><li>Quick Fix </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Expect others to solve our problems </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>And to do it now </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>And painlessly </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Symptom focused </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Recycles anxiety elsewhere </li></ul></ul>
    23. 31. Characteristics of an Anxious System <ul><li>Poor Leadership </li></ul><ul><ul><li>No clear vision </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>No well-thought- out principles </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>The chronically anxious system is ultimately leaderless </li></ul></ul>
    24. 32. Concept One: Triangles
    25. 33. A B C Triangles
    26. 34. A B C Triangles
    27. 35. Concept Two: Scale of Differentiation of Self 0 100 Intellectual Emotional
    28. 36. Concept Two: Scale of Differentiation of Self
    29. 37. 100 Equal Separate Open
    30. 38. 0 Completely Fused
    31. 39. 50
    32. 40. 25
    33. 41. Concept Three: Nuclear Family Emotional System The Four Human Strategies for Dealing with Anxiety
    34. 42. Concept Three: Nuclear Family Emotional System Conflict
    35. 43. Concept Three: Nuclear Family Emotional System Distance
    36. 44. Concept Three: Nuclear Family Emotional System Overfuntioning/ Underfunctioning
    37. 45. Concept Three: Nuclear Family Emotional System Triangling
    38. 46. Concept Four: Multigenerational Emotional System
    39. 47. The Multigenerational Emotional System <ul><li>Each nuclear family is the product of 62 nuclear families in the five generations that precede it, and of over 1000 nuclear families in the nine generations that precede it. </li></ul>
    40. 48. Understanding the Generations of our Families <ul><li>Will require action on our part </li></ul><ul><li>Will help us see we are part of a long process </li></ul><ul><li>Will require us to take up the role of researcher </li></ul><ul><li>Will help to minimize cutoff as a pattern </li></ul>
    41. 49. 35 35 Concept Five: Family Projection Process
    42. 50. 35 35 Concept Five: Family Projection Process
    43. 51. 35 35 Concept Five: Family Projection Process
    44. 52. 35 35 30 Concept Five: Family Projection Process
    45. 53. 35 35 40 30 Concept Five: Family Projection Process
    46. 54. Why Children in the Same Family Turn Out So Differently <ul><li>Families deal with different amounts of anxiety at different times </li></ul><ul><li>Families focus on children differently </li></ul>
    47. 55. How do Children come to be the focus of family anxiety? <ul><li>What was taking place at the time of birth or pregnancy </li></ul><ul><li>Same position as another in the family who did not do well </li></ul><ul><li>Sibling position </li></ul><ul><li>Birth defect or problem birth </li></ul><ul><li>Anything that makes a child different </li></ul>
    48. 56. Sometimes families are totally unaware of how they are “doing in” some of their family members or how they might be able to handle anxiety differently had they a different way of thinking about relationships and anxiety .
    49. 57. And sometimes we even grow anxious over that!
    50. 58. Parents working from family systems principles do not try to treat each child the same.
    51. 59. They will, however, know that an anxious focus on children is detrimental to their development and life course.
    52. 60. They try to contain their own anxiety, processing it within the self, with each other, and the extended family system, rather than developing anxious, focused relationships with the children.
    53. 61. B. 1978 x x D. 1985 ………………………………………………………………………… .. B. 1981
    54. 62. B. 1978 x x D. 1985 ………………………………………………………………………… .. 1994 Difficulties at work 1995 Clinical Depression D. 1994 D. 1996 1994 Expelled for Drug Use 1988 Stroke moved in with family B. 1981 B. 1992
    55. 63. B. 1978 x x D. 1985 ………………………………………………………………………… .. B. 1992 1994 Difficulties at work 1995 Clinical Depression D. 1994 D. 1996 1994 Expelled for Drug Use 1998 Trouble with law 1996-97 Continued Drug Use D. 1998 1988 Stroke moved in with family B. 1981
    56. 64. Concept Six: Sibling Position
    57. 65. Sibling Position Oldest Brother of Brothers
    58. 66. Sibling Position Youngest Brother of Brothers
    59. 67. Sibling Position Oldest Brother of Sisters
    60. 68. Sibling Position Youngest Brother of Sisters
    61. 69. Sibling Position Male Only Child
    62. 70. Sibling Position Oldest Sister of Sisters
    63. 71. Sibling Position Youngest Sister of Sisters
    64. 72. Sibling Position Youngest Sister of Brothers
    65. 73. Sibling Position Female Only Child
    66. 74. Special Sibling Positions The Middle Child
    67. 75. Special Sibling Positions Twins
    68. 76. Resulting Relationships Positions Without Rank or Sex Conflict <ul><li>Oldest Brother of Sisters and Youngest Sister of Brothers </li></ul><ul><li>Youngest Brother of Sisters and Oldest Sister of Brothers </li></ul>
    69. 77. Resulting Relationships Partial Sex Conflict <ul><li>Oldest Brother of Sisters and Youngest Sister of Sisters </li></ul><ul><li>Youngest Brother of Sisters and Oldest Sister of Sisters </li></ul><ul><li>Oldest Brother of Brothers and Youngest Sister of Brothers </li></ul><ul><li>Youngest Brother of Brothers and Oldest Sister of Brothers </li></ul>
    70. 78. Resulting Relationships Rank or Sex Conflict Relationships <ul><li>Oldest Brother of Sisters and Oldest Sister of Brothers </li></ul><ul><li>Youngest Brother of Sisters and Youngest Sister of Brothers </li></ul><ul><li>Oldest Brother of Brothers and Youngest Sister of Sisters </li></ul><ul><li>Youngest Brother of Brothers and Oldest Sister of Sisters </li></ul>
    71. 79. Resulting Relationships Rank and Partial Sex Conflict Relationships <ul><li>Oldest Brother of Sisters and Oldest Sister of Sisters </li></ul><ul><li>Youngest Brother of Sisters and Youngest Sister of Sisters </li></ul><ul><li>Oldest Brother of Brothers and Oldest Sister of Brothers </li></ul><ul><li>Youngest Brother of Brothers and Youngest Sister of Brothers </li></ul>
    72. 80. Resulting Relationships Rank and Sex Conflict Relationships <ul><li>Oldest Brother of Brothers and Oldest Sister of Sisters </li></ul><ul><li>Youngest Brother of Brothers and Youngest Sister of Sisters </li></ul><ul><li>Only Children </li></ul>
    73. 81. Concept Seven: Cutoff Extreme form of distancing
    74. 82. Creech Family Diagram Rosser Martin Scott Cryer Creech Cocke Culpepper Culpepper
    75. 83. Concept Eight: Societal Emotional Process
    76. 84. Concept Nine: Spiritual Journey
    77. 85. Personal Obedience A Community of Grace and Truth Reflective Living The Threefold Process of Personal Transformation Fig. 1.1
    78. 86. Engaging New Behaviors Consciously Competent Consciously Incompetent Unconsciously Competent Unconsciously Incompetent
    79. 87. For this PowerPoint file or an Adobe PDF version, go to and click on the HGST icon at the bottom of the page www.leadersjourney.org
    80. 88. The Triune Brain

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