From the 2010 Alliance to Save Energy Green Campus Energy Efficiency Summit – Greening the Campus, Building the Workforce

1. Green Campus Newsletters
A Guide to Successful Newsletter Publishing!
Morwenna Rowe
UC Berkeley Green Campus Team
morwennar@gmail.com

2. Newsletter Template
• Tips for a good template
– Keep it professional
– Use clear fonts (nothing wacky or hard to read).
Good Bad
• Verdana Chiller
• Calibri Snap ITC
• Times New Roman Matisse ITC
– No clipart
– Professional does not have to mean boring
• Keep things interesting with:
– Vivid colors
– Great photos (always put borders on photos)
– Exciting news about your fantastic projects and results!

3. Newsletter Template
• How to find a good template
– Microsoft Publisher features several pre-made templates
– Ask a design group on campus to help
– Hold a contest

4. Catchy Newsletter Names
• Main Title
– Be sure to specify the volume, issue, and month
– Come up with a creative name
• incorporate the name of your mascot
• use words reminiscent of magazines and newspapers like
“Chronicles” or “Times”
• Example Titles:
– “Green Campus Chronicles”- UC Berkeley
– “The Green Aztec”- SDSU
– “Green Pastures”- Cal Poly Pomona
– “Green at a Glance”- CSU San Bernardino

5. Features- Trivia and Fact Boxes
Keep readers intrigued and informed
with text boxes filled with:
Your team’s data and results
Upcoming Green
Campus Events
Sustainability tips
Event quotes
Stakeholders of
the Month
November 2009 Cal Poly SLO
Cal Poly Pomona Vol 1, Issue 4, April 1st, 2008

6. Features- Trivia and Fact Boxes
CSUSB
Issue 36 Fall 2009

7. Features- Trivia and Fact Boxes
CSU Chico
SDSU August 2009
Vol. 1, Issue 10. Oct. 10 2008

8. Tips for Writing Good Articles
• Catchy Titles
– A well-placed exclamation point never hurt anyone!
• “RSP Collaboration Saves Big!”
• “North Reading Room Lighting Audit is Underway!”
• “Blackout Battles Winner Unit 1 Earns Ice Cream Party!”
• Include plenty of data and numbers within articles
• Try to extend your vocabulary
– Use an online thesaurus
– “Synonyms” option for Microsoft Word
– (BUT! Be sure the new word is still appropriate for the sentence!)

9. Tips for Writing Good Articles
Active vs. Passive Writing
What’s the difference?
Active Voice:
The subject of the sentence is the one doing the action.
Passive Voice:
The subject of the sentence is now being acted upon.
Basic Rule: Use ACTIVE VOICE unless there is a good reason not to.
Active voice can make your writing more vivid, in part because it
require strong, active verbs. Active voice adds clarity and places
responsibility where it belongs.
Source: University of Minnesota

10. Tips for Writing Good Articles
Active vs. Passive Writing Examples
1. According to the U.S. Department of Energy, roughly 90% of
energy used for washing clothes in a conventional top-
loading laundry machine is used just for heating the water!
2. According to the U.S. Department of Energy, heating the
water in a conventional top-loading laundry machine uses
roughly 90% of energy used for washing clothes.
1. Armed with lux meters, interns measured the amount of light
in different areas of the North Reading Room.
2. The amount of light was measured in different areas of the
North Reading Room by interns armed with lux meters.

11. Metrics Tables and Data Presentation
Tips:
•Report both hard and soft metrics
•Include clear, specific numbers
•Include the fine print to back up
your data
•Feature data on the front page!
Spreadsheet Info (from page 1):
Assumptions:
Cost per kWh = $0.10 (UCB current rates)
CO2 per year (Source: Energy Star)
44.44 lbs CO2 emissions per MWh from PG&E (UCB electricity provider) (Source: PG&E Corporate
Responsibility Report 2005)
For reference, national average is 1,342 lbs CO2 / MWh and the California average is 804 lbs/MWh
(Source: PG&E Corporate Responsibility Report 2005)
0.06 lbs Nox emissions per MWh from PG&E (UCB electricity provider) (Source: PG&E Corporate
Responsibility Report 2005)

12. Include All Necessary Logos
• The Banner of Alliance to Save Energy sponsors and
logos of other funding sources such as campus grants need
to be included on all Green Campus Publications.
Required for all GC Teams:
The Alliance to Save Energy's Green Campus program is funded by the ratepayers of California under the auspices of
SCE, PG&E, and Sempra Energy.
UC Berkeley example:

13. Include Team Contact Information
• Whether it’s at the end of the newsletter or in a side-bar, be
sure to include your team’s contact information in case your
readers have any questions or comments!
c

14. Example Newsletter- UC Berkeley

15. Any Questions?
Thank You and Happy Newsletter
Writing!
Morwenna Rowe
UC Berkeley Green Campus Team
morwennar@gmail.com

16. Email Etiquette Guidelines
Joel Martinez
Team Email: lasc.greencampus@gmail.com
Personal Email: joer310@msn.com
Note: Any email address used hereon is made up for presentation purposes.
Please do not use these since they are fake.

17. Introduction
Email being a non-verbal communication
tool can lead to misunderstanding and
miscommunication of the intended message.
Many tend to neglect the tone and style of
writing emails.
This practical workshop will highlight the
barriers to effective email communication,
how to write accurately and understanding
the importance of using appropriate style and
tone in emails and email etiquette.

18. E-mail Guidelines “The Don’ts”
DO NOT write emails like text messages.
•Just wanna let u kno we’ll b available 2morrow @ 4. Thx.
DO NOT write generic subject lines. BE specific.
•Bad: the meeting the other day
•Better: Summary from Green Campus’s Stakeholders meeting on January 21,
2010.
DO NOT leave blank subject lines.
•Subject: <none>
•Most likely this email will not be opened
DO NOT send spam or forwards.
•Fwd: Send this to 10 ppl or you’ll have a bad love life for 10 years.
DO NOT provide personal notes/information in emails.
•Bad: I’m gonna b late cuz my car broke down & I’m broke & I'm waiting on my mom
to send me money so that I can’t fix it after the meeting.”
•Better:“Please note, I will be unavailable to attend the meeting on January 21,
2010.”

19. E-mail Guidelines “The Dos”
DO use a formal email address.
•Bad: mrcasanova@myspace.com
•Good: johndoe@msn.com
DO spell check.
•Use spell check, spelling errors are unprofessional and lead to confusion.
DO write concise emails.
•Bad: “Please confirm that you will be able to come to the meeting because we have
limited space and we need to know exactly how many people are going to be
coming in case we need to get a bigger room and also we need to order enough
food for everyone that confirms their attendance.”
•Better: “In order to provide appropriate accommodations, please confirm your
attendance by Friday, January 22, 2010.”
DO avoid attachments.
•Attachments may create technical issues for the recipient.
DO use legible fonts.
•Bad: Our next meeting will take place in room 125
•Recommended: Times New Roman, Century Gothic, Calibri

20. Bad Email Example 1
For Stakeholders only
Campus Lead is missing
Address properly
Body is way too informal and
unprofessional
Uncalled for
Joel who?

21. Bad Email Example 2
Properly addressed
Improper form of salutation
In the body you can find
misspelled words, wrongful
capitalization of words, and
inappropriate tone
Good Signature

22. Good Email Example 1
Make sure to include all
potential Stakeholders
Don’t forget to cc your team
and campus lead
Address email to all
Stakeholders
What, When, Where, Time
Dietary preference
Don’t forget your signature
along with your title

23. Good Email Example 2
Always cc your team and
Campus Lead
Address properly
What’s it regarding?
What would you like to do?
When?
Don’t forget your signature
along with your title

24. E-mail Tips
So what can I do?
 First make sure you know all the guidelines referred within the Green Campus Handbook.
 If you find yourself writing in anger, save a draft, go get a cup of coffee, go for a walk, let
someone proofread it, etc… just don’t hit “Send.”
 Proofread. If you are asking someone else to do work for you, take the time to make your
message look professional.
 Identify yourself clearly. When making a cold “call”/e-mail, always include your name,
occupation, and any other important identification information in the first few sentences.

25. In the End…
 We can all do our part to make sure these
errors are corrected when we communicate with
our stakeholders and/or groups from the Green
Campus Program.
Designed By:
Joel Martinez
Joer310@msn.com
Los Angeles Southwest College
January 31,2010

26. Alliance Writing Guidelines
(the Short Version!)
Ellie Kim
Senior Program Associate
Alliance to Save Energy
ekim@ase.org

27. Overview
Grammar/Punctuation
Concise Writing
Overview
Packaging Your Product

28. Grammar/Punctuation
• No LOL Catz Plz! Iz
NoT Cute! The Alliance generally follows
Associated Press (AP) style –
a commonly-used journalistic
style of writing on matters of
– Capitalization
Grammar/Punctuation – Abbreviation
– Punctuation
– Use of numerals
– Etc.
• GC Writing Field Guide

29. Grammar/Punctuation
• Which of these sentences is correct?
1. The ASE is a non-profit organization.
(Acronyms, hyphens): The Alliance to Save Energy is a nonprofit
organization.
2. The President, Kateri Callahan has often said “Efficiency is the wave
of the future”!
(Capitalization, quotations): The president, Kateri Callahan has
often said, “Efficiency is the wave of the future!”
3. Since the 1970’s support from Senators has been given to us.
(Numbers, commas, capitalization, passive voice): Since the
1970s, senators have given us support.

30. Grammar/Punctuation
• Tougher Calls:
1. We save more energy than any organization in our field.
We save more energy than any other organization in our field.
– Need to add “other” when making comparisons.
2. We support energy efficient products and energy-efficiency
policies.
We support energy-efficient products and energy efficiency policies.
– Here, energy-efficient is an adjective, so it gets a hyphen.
– Here, energy efficiency is a compound noun that describes another
noun (practices) so it does not get a hyphen.

31. Concise Writing
31
Traditional Writing Style – Pyramid Method
Top of Article
History/Background
Put the most essential
Supporting Information
message first
Main Point or Conclusion
Bottom of Article

32. Concise Writing
Inverted Pyramid Method:
Typical Journalism Style
Top of Article
Main Point Most readers take in this
part
Put the most essential
Supporting
Information Fewer readers stay for this
message first
History/
Background Only a few get all the way to
the end
Bottom of Article

33. Concise Writing
Eye-tracking Studies
The areas where users looked the most are colored red; the yellow areas indicate
fewer views, followed by the least-viewed blue areas. Gray areas didn't attract any
fixations.

34. Packaging Your Product
Tools:
• Headings (statements make great headings)
• Short paragraphs (one sentence is OK)
• Bulleted lists
• KISS (Keep It Simple Silly)
Avoid:
• Lots of acronyms (alphabet soup)
• Jargon
• Passive voice and dead words
• Too much formatting (let your words make the point, not
Microsoft Word)

35. Packaging Your Product
Dear _____________:
Please furnish medical evidence in support of your pension claim. The best evidence to
submit would be a report of a recent examination by your personal physician, or a report
from a hospital or clinic that has treated you recently. The report should include complete
findings and diagnoses of the condition which renders you permanently and totally
disabled. It is not necessary for you to receive an examination at this time. We only need
a report from a doctor, hospital, or clinic that has treated you recently.
This evidence should be submitted as soon as possible, preferably within 60 days. If we
do not receive this information within 60 days from the date of this letter, your claim will
be denied. Evidence must be received in the Department of Veterans Affairs within one
year from the date of this letter; otherwise, benefits, if entitlement is established, may not
So…what ONtoALL EVIDENCEreceipt. SHOW VETERAN'S FULL NAME AND VA FILE
exactly do you
be paid prior the date of its
NUMBER SUBMITTED.
want meAct Information: The information requested by this letter is authorized by existing
Privacy to do?
law (38 U.S.C. 210 (c)(1)) and is considered necessary and relevant to determine
entitlement to maximum benefits applied for under the law. The information submitted
may be disclosed outside the Department of Veterans Affairs only as permitted by law.
____________________
Adjudication Officer

36. Packaging Your Product
Dear _______________:
We have your claim for a pension. Our laws require us to ask you for more
information. The information you give us will help us decide whether we can pay you
a pension.
What We Need
Send us a medical report from a doctor or clinic that you visited in the past six
months. The report should show why you can't work.
Please take this letter and the enclosed Guide to your doctor.
When We Need It
We need the doctor's report by January 28, 1992. We'll have to turn down your claim
Let’s we don't getagain…by that date.
if try that the report
Your Right to Privacy
The information you give us is private. We might have to give out this information in a
few special cases. But we will not give it out to the general public without your
permission. We've attached a form which explains your privacy rights.
If you have any questions about this letter, you may call us at 1-800-827-1000. The
call is free.
Sincerely,

37. Packaging Your Product
Calls to the Veterans Administration for
clarification or explanation of the letter:
• Old letter: Sent 750 times/month – 1,128 calls
Revised letter got results
• New letter: Sent 710 times/month – 192 calls
Work by Reva Daniel with Veterans Administration
Counselors, Jacksonville, Miss.

38. Questions/Comments?
That’s the end…