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Youth do you dare by colin standish
 

Youth do you dare by colin standish

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What do you stand for? Do you care to make a difference? Do you care to stand out or are you okay being like everyone else around you?

What do you stand for? Do you care to make a difference? Do you care to stand out or are you okay being like everyone else around you?

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    Youth do you dare by colin standish Youth do you dare by colin standish Document Transcript

    • Youth, Do You Dare! by Colin Standish
    • Copyright © 1988 by Hartland Publications. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America Second printing: 2006 Published and Distributed by Hartland Publications Box 1, Rapidan, Virginia 22733-0001 ISBN 0-9123309-12-8
    • DEDICATION This book is dedicated to the memory of my mother, Hilda Marie Joyce Standish without whose loving guidance my own youth would almost certainly have been a progression toward the pathway of destruction.
    • Youth, Do You Dare! 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 Dedication Preface Suicide It’s All So Boring I’ve Got to Have Some Fun In Life How Do I Make a Happy Home? Can You Live With That? There’s Just One More Rule Forty? Easy! But She Says She’ll Divorce Me We Were About to Break Down If Only You Had Come Last Week I Can’t Control Myself Why Did I Kill Them? I Want to Have a Happy Marriage What’s Wrong With It? It’s Just the Way I Am It’s Just Their Dirty Minds I Can Give It Up Any Time I Want To The Moral Trap Decision Making It’s No Use Trying If Only I Had Known This When I Was Young You Are a Prince Among Princes 3 7 11 13 17 19 21 24 27 30 33 36 38 40 43 46 49 52 55 58 61 63 68 71 Scriptural Index General Index Hartland Publications Book List About the Author 73 74 77 86
    • Preface H TO BE YOUNG AGAIN! This wish is frequently the expressed or secret desire of those whose youth has rapidly vanished. But there is a good deal of forgetting, I’m afraid, of the traumas of past youth. Youth for my generation was hardly a succession of one emotional high after another. I suspect that it is an even greater roller-coaster experience for you in this modern generation than it was for my generation. There was a period of history when time moved frustratingly slowly. But there were some benefits. Children knew from an early age what occupation to follow. If father was a cobbler then he would train his children to be the best cobblers. If one was born into a low social stratum, he would remain that way for the rest of his life. But democratic opportunities changed all that. While we do not favor the limited opportunities of the past, the vast array of options today renders decisionmaking much more complex. The confusion in sex roles, uncertain moral environment, questioning of spiritual values, youthful inadequacy, uncertainty, and maladaptation suddenly multiply confusion. This book attempts to address some of these issues using experiences of fellow youth. I have discovered that Christ not only had the solution for people living thousands of years ago, but He also has the complete answer to our needs today. I trust that you will find help and discover the solution for your life through the reading of this book. O
    • Youth, Do You Dare!
    • 1 Suicide T HE young man twisted restlessly in his chair. His agitated speech left no doubt of his despair and discouragement. He was worth nothing. He was a burden to his mother. He had tried everything, but nothing worked. The only thing he could do was end his life. The two hours I spent with him that night will live indelibly in my memory. Later that night he committed suicide. I have often wondered if I could have said something else, or if my prayer could have been more meaningful. If my time with him had been extended, what could I have done to avert the loss of his young life? He was only one of many who face the dilemma of how to cope with life. It could be that even you have contemplated suicide. God has not brought you into this world to be unhappy, miserable, dejected, discouraged, or depressed. The Lord created you to be joyful, contented, and above all to reflect in all its beauty the love of our Saviour. I’m going to be frank. Most young people want it told like it is. You may not always like what I say. Other times you may be hostile. But resist the temptation to put the book down or to throw it away. Hear me through! Most young people are in a dilemma. Recently I asked one academy senior how many students in his Christian academy did he feel were truly converted. His answer was “Very few.” When asked how many in his academy he thought really wanted to be Christians, his answer was “Most.” Between those two statements is a great chasm, and many youth don’t know how to bridge it. My purpose in this book is to reach out to young people. My life’s ministry has been directed to the education and salvation of young people in elementary schools, high schools, and in colleges. My love for the youth has grown through the years. I’ve seen a dramatic change in the challenges young people experience. You don’t have to convince me that it is tough being a youth today. Although the challenges were great when 11
    • 12 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE I was growing up, they were nothing compared with what you face. That only convinces me that the opportunities are even greater. Somewhere I remember reading that it is going to be largely the youth who will finish the work of God. I have many a gray hair today. It is impossible for me to still consider myself a youth. But I have a secret desire that I am now making public. It was the young people who went into the Promised Land when the nation of Israel finally entered Canaan. But there were two old men whom the Lord allowed to go in with them—men of faith and confidence in God’s leadership. My “secret” goal is to be one of those older Calebs or Joshuas who will go into that Promised Land with you. What I am addressing here are issues for which you want answers. Often youth have told me they cannot get clear answers from their parents or even from their teachers. In this book I have tried to be honest, not to give you the easy answers, nor perhaps the answers you want, but to give you the very best answers.
    • 2 It’s All So Boring H E seemed earnest enough. He was probably fifteen or sixteen years old, blond tousled hair, and a degree of carelessness evidenced in his dress. His question was blunt, “How do you get interested in religion?” And his reason for asking followed quickly, “It’s all so boring.” It is impossible to know all the reasons that lead someone to conclude that God’s Word is boring. There could be one of a thousand reasons or, more likely, a combination of reasons. Maybe parents made it boring to you when you were young. Perhaps you really haven’t studied God’s Word. Most likely, the reason this young man and many others find the study of God’s Word boring is that for much of their lives their minds have been captivated by fantasy and the imaginary, the artificial and the exciting. There have been dramatic changes in the habits of most Western people over the last century. The average American today spends close to forty hours per week on entertainment, compared with about one hour so spent a century ago. You might say, “So what?” Clearly this excessive entertainment is doing great emotional, social, physical, intellectual, and spiritual damage to your generation. This forty hours is made up of such things as television, radio, cassettes, CDs, video games, sporting events, movie attendance, rock concerts, and—often for older people, the opera, the ballet, and so on. The result is called “entertainment syndrome.” In the early 1960s The Beatles had landed at Sydney Airport to begin their triumphant tour of Australia. When the Beatles appeared at the doorway of the airplane, police and airport officials found it almost impossible to stop the hysterical response of the teenagers, especially the girls. The sirens of ambulances wailed. Some of the young people, overcome by emotion, had collapsed, and were rushed to area hospitals. They required hours, and in some cases, days to recuperate. Deep emotional responses pull out all the stops of the body’s sympathetic nervous system. This response includes increased heartbeat, breath13
    • 14 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE ing rates, inhibition of digestion, sweating and secretion of huge amounts of adrenalin into the blood stream. Adrenalin acts like a drug to stimulate the person. Over the long haul, it’s almost like mainlining narcotics. Like such drugs, the excitement-inducing situation has to be increasingly exaggerated, as time passes, to produce the same level of excitability. Your nervous system is placed under constant sensory bombardment in a way that the human body was never meant to endure. The more exaggerated the excitability during the entertainment, the greater is the depression that inevitably follows. To avoid this undesired consequence, often one looks for even more exaggerated entertainment. Many have not seen the connection between the entertainment syndrome and the expressions of the age. But it is this fact that has led inevitably from soft rock to hard rock, to acid rock, to punk rock, to pornographic literature and X-rated cable television channels; and, certainly, it has been basic to the development of antisocial group patterns and the drug culture. No young person should remain ignorant of the last desperate efforts of Satan to destroy him or her. He makes it all seem so exciting, so attractive, so attention-grabbing. Certainly the study of God’s Word seems, on the other hand, so boring. A Reader’s Digest article written many years ago offered startling evidence of the effect of one entertainment medium—television—upon the minds of children and youth. Television ranks behind only sleep and work as a consumer of our time. In fact, going to the 1982 Nielsen report on television, the average American family keeps its set on for 49 1/2 hours each week. The typical youngster graduating from high school will have spent almost twice as much time in front of the tube as he has in the classroom—a staggering equivalent of 10 years of 40-hour weeks. He will have witnessed some 150,000 violent episodes, including an estimated 25,000 deaths. Eugene H. Methven, “TV Violence: The Shocking New Evidence,” Reader’s Digest, January 1983, p. 50 This same article further said, U.S. Surgeon General, Jessie L. Steinfeld, declared, “The causal relationship between television violence and antisocial behavior is sufficient to warrant immediate remedial action.” Last May the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) issued a report summarizing over 2,500 studies done in the last decade on television’s influence on behavior. Evidence from the studies—with more than a hundred-thousand subjects in dozens of nations—is so overwhelming “the NIMH
    • It’s All So Boring 15 found there is consensus in the research community” that violence on television does lead to aggressive behavior. Television is not the only culprit. You know what is being done to your friends by the radio or the radio/cassette player, video games, and many other traps that Satan has for us today. Perhaps the greatest danger now is the computer which offers all sorts of time-wasting and deadly entertainment. Entertainment brings an emotional high. And—just like the law of gravity—what goes up must come down. Unfortunately our emotions do not come down just to the average, normal level. There is a natural compensation of our body; therefore, we go into a state of depression. The only way that we can change this reaction, if we are into the entertainment mode, is to have another hit of entertainment, or maybe to employ drugs to bring back the level of excitement. Entertainment works just like drugs—you need more to reach the same high, and you need it more frequently and in a more exaggerated form; which is the reason for so many exaggerated forms of entertainment. A teetotaler would be repulsed by a strong alcoholic drink, but it is not so for someone who has become adapted over many years to more and more alcohol in his system. The same is true of entertainment. The most exaggerated forms of rock music are probably repugnant to your parents and certainly to your grandparents, but it can be very attractive to you because your mind and body have become adapted to it. Satan has chosen that which will so pervert the mind that it is impossible to enjoy, or even to understand, the wonderful truths of God’s Word. “Well,” you say, “what can we do about it?” When we come to the Lord, our mind is like a bucket of filthy, muddy water. If we place such a bucket under a tap and allow pure water to drip slowly into the bucket, a year later we will still have muddy water in the bucket. But if we place the bucket under a tap and turn on a strong flow, we will soon see the muddy water flushing out over the sides of the bucket. Eventually, we will have pure water. The only way to cleanse the mind and find the beauty of the Word of God is to spend considerable time each day with the Word of God. David says: Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against Thee (Psalm 119:11). The more we study God’s Word the more the filth of our mind will be replaced by the purity of Christ’s life. Then we will have the mind of Christ. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:5).
    • 16 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE You are part of the generation God is calling to take His gospel to the world. We need a special fortification against the world. It is not good enough to be just a little better; the Lord is calling us to be transformed. The more you study the Bible, prayerfully, and the less time you spend on entertainment, the more thrilling will be the message that God has for you. It will take discipline. It will not be easy. It may not even be interesting at first. But I suggest you start with one of the gospels— maybe the Gospel of John. Then move to the book of Acts. Perhaps these readings will inspire you to take this great message to the world. But let me warn you, there will be withdrawal symptoms similar to those of drug withdrawal when you put away your dependency upon entertainment. Recently a family, who were convicted of the need to study the Word of God more earnestly, told of severe withdrawal symptoms including agitation, family tiffs, and the like, when they put their television out of their house. Much prayer and earnest effort, however, will soon lead to a more calm and peaceful life. Remember to replace entertainment with something worthwhile. Don’t just leave a void. Encourage other youth to join you in Bible study, sharing, and witnessing. You will be wonderfully surprised at the richness of the fellowship. If your friends are not interested, as you search you will find others who are. And their friendship will become most meaningful to you. Most who reject the great gospel God has given us don’t even know what they are rejecting. Often, older Christians have tried to entertain you. We may have given you a watered down gospel, and have not told it like it is. We stand guilty, but your generation is being called to put aside the half-baked Christianity you have been fed, and allow Jesus full and complete possession of your lives. The youth of whom I spoke at the beginning of this chapter certainly was honest and candid, but he had received little to make the Word of God attractive. You may be in the same position. Don’t throw aside the Word of God or His Truth, but study it until it becomes a thrilling part of your life.
    • 3 I’ve Got to Have Some Fun In Life Y EARS ago on a radio program, a champion swimmer was interviewed after he had won a gold medal in the Olympics. He told the interviewer of the calisthenics and the other exercises that he had undertaken. Then he made a significant statement: “My main training is in the pool. I do five or six hours a day.” That young man could have exercised all he liked. He could have been in a strong fitness program, but until he spent significant time in the water he could not have become a champion swimmer. All over the world, tens of thousands of parents are dedicating four to eight hours daily so that their children can be trained in the hope that they may become champion swimmers, gymnasts, athletes, ballet dancers, and the like. These parents are considered to be devoted and the children are praised for their commitment. But usually the effort is for selfish goals and objectives. For a short period there may be great exhilaration and excitement, but the majority will not achieve their dream, and even for those who do, the glory and the adulation are usually short lived. I have often wondered what it would mean if parents would put this kind of time into training their children to be workers—champion workers—for God. What a difference it would make if we would train four to eight hours every day in the pool of Christian service! Sound fanatical? Yet when we view it in the light of the end time and the commitment that people have for earthly goals, how much more should we ourselves have these kinds of goals. At the end of high school, many should be ready to serve the Lord. Some years ago I was asked to chair a panel of young people at a youth program. There were six young people ranging in age between fourteen and eighteen. All came from undivided Christian homes, and all had been or were being educated in Christian schools. On Friday night we had talked a little about what we would discuss, but somehow part way through the dialogue, in front of 300 to 400 people, I asked who among the panelists had been led by the Lord to bring even one other person to 17
    • 18 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE Jesus. Not one could answer positively. Then it seemed the question should change a little. So I asked how many of the young people had told others about Jesus, His love, and His soon coming. Not one could recall doing that even once! We spent the rest of the panel discussion trying to discover the reasons, and what could be done about it. Probably the most common answer given was, “We are afraid of being embarrassed.” This fear was understandable to me because I had also felt the same way as a youth. Some said they did not know how to witness. That struck home because, as an educator, I wondered what I and other educators were doing to help our young people in this most critical role, the most important role they could possibly have, of witnessing to other people. On the following morning, before I was dressed, there was a knock on the front door. Eight young people were there—some who had been on the panel, some who had been in the congregation. They had one simple question, “Could you help us to be witnesses for the Lord?” I know you really want to have the joy of witnessing. It is our responsibility in our homes, in our Christian schools and in our churches to educate you to be workers for God. Don’t be afraid to find someone who you know has a love for God and is witnessing, and ask to join with him. Often you can learn more by going with somebody than from learning all the theory about witnessing for Christ. This experience will change your prayer and Bible-study life. You will pray for people as you work for them. You will realize your own needs and your own limitations, and will study God’s Word as never before. And God will bless you. There is an indivisible relationship between prayer, Bible study, and witnessing. It takes all three for us to grow in our spiritual life, for each greatly reinforces and enhances the other. If your church does not have a witnessing program, ask your pastor and church leaders to initiate one— not just for youth but for all the members.
    • 4 How Do I Make a Happy Home? D URING a week of Spiritual Emphasis at a Christian academy, a 17-year-old youth came to visit with me. His question was simple, “How do I make a happy home?” Usually a person asking that question has not lived in a happy home. He has never seen a happy home. Such was the case with this young man. In fact, almost casually, he told me that his 36-year-old mother had just remarried that week for the ninth time! He was a child of the first marriage. Wondering if he had given an accurate story, I checked with the principal. Though he did not know how many times the mother had been married he confirmed that it was many. During his short lifetime this young man had seen eight “fathers” come and go. You see, we learn best from models. That is why children who come from a happy home where mother and father love each other and the children, and all love God, are much more likely to develop a happy home themselves when they are married. Those who come from broken homes have great difficulty. They see the fighting between father and mother, the unhappiness, then the separation and the divorce. It is very difficult for them to know how to have a happy home, and how to make a home that God blesses. There is often a feeling of insecurity and instability as well as guilt. Young people from unstable homes tend to want to get married earlier than those from stable homes. When counseling a 19-year-old girl from an academy, I suggested that she attend college. She stated that it was out of the question because she and her boyfriend were planning marriage at the end of the school year. As we talked further she stated that her parents were divorced, her mother had recently died, and her father had just married for the third time. One can understand her deep concerns. She had no security in her home and she was desperately looking for that security. Unwisely, like so many young people, she thought security could be obtained by an early marriage. But the more 19
    • 20 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE insecure the background of a young man or young woman, the better it is to be sensibly cautious and to move slowly toward marrying. The young man whom she was planning to marry had spent one semester in college but then dropped out. That did not augur well for a stable marriage either. Thankfully this young lady had enough maturity and dedication to listen to kindly counsel. She then asked me to dialogue with the young man. To their credit, they both decided it would be best for them to delay their marriage. They now are happily married. If you come from an unstable or broken home, let me suggest that you be very careful. The old adage, “More haste, less speed,” is applicable in these circumstances. You need, if possible, to find a home in which to live, where there is a godly relationship between the husband and wife, where there is stability. You need to study even more carefully the counsels God has given concerning marriage, family, and home life. One must pray earnestly to be fully prepared for this important step. Marriage calls for young people who plan to dedicate their lives together in service for God and man, to make a special commitment, a special dedication. It takes maturity for such a marriage to be formed. I wonder what happened to that young man with whom I spoke at that Week of Spiritual Emphasis. My prayer is that in spite of his background he has found God’s way to a happy, successful marriage. Experience has shown that some of the most successful homemakers are young people from broken homes who have dedicated their lives to God and learned lessons from the mistakes of their parents. It is God’s plan that His children should build joyous Christian homes. Every child of His may have this privilege if he or she prayerfully studies and adopts His counsel.
    • 5 Can You Live With That? O NE day a young colleague asked me if I would perform her wedding. I had not met the young man she planned to marry. So, without making a commitment, I told her that I was honored by the request and I would like to meet her fiancé. The young woman assured me that her fiancé was coming in two weeks, so they were invited to our home for supper. It was a pleasure to meet him, but I recognized a considerable difference in spiritual philosophy between the two. I knew the young woman very well. She was a deeply committed Christian, and desired a Christian home. The young man was highly educated, very personable, and in many ways, the ideal spouse. Yet he did not show the same fervor for spiritual matters or the same commitment to the things of God, though he was a Christian and active in his church. The morning following the departure of the young man, I met with the young woman. With great enthusiasm she wanted my evaluation of her fiancé. It was not easy to answer this question, especially on the spur of the moment. I managed to mention all the good qualities I had noticed concerning him. It is difficult to tell young women of the undesirable characteristics of the men to whom they are emotionally attached. Indeed, young women often will show a protective response if one points out too many negatives. After giving the positive answers, I asked her about any significant areas in which they disagreed. “Yes,” she said. “He does not like animals, and I do.” I asked if she could live with that. She said she thought she probably could. But something told me there were much deeper issues than that of which she should be concerned. Over the next several weeks we had numerous informal talks. Each time, I raised the same issue, whether there were any differences. There were many. For example, she did not feel that a television should be in the home. And certainly she did not want her children growing up addicted to television. She had noted that the young man was quite an avid television viewer. I asked if she thought she could live with that. This 21
    • 22 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE time she wasn’t so sure. I asked how she would handle it. She said he would have to have the television in the basement. I asked if she wanted a marriage where her husband was always downstairs glued to the television. I persisted further. What about your children? “Oh, I wouldn’t allow them to watch television.” I asked whether that would be realistic if the father was so devoted to it. Later I asked if they had worship together as they prepared for marriage. She answered, “Yes.” But then faced with the question about who led out, reluctantly she told me that she was probably the one who normally initiated those worships. Again I gently asked if that was the kind of home she wanted. She hesitantly answered, “No.” Eventually she told of the young man’s fondness for ‘girlie’ magazines. I asked if she had spoken to him about this matter. She said, “Yes.” I asked what his reaction was. He had responded that he was only interested in the art. She admitted that she really did not believe his explanation. Again the young woman was asked if that was the kind of home she wanted. Two days later a crestfallen young woman asked if I minded not conducting her wedding. Initially I thought she may have decided to ask another minister. Perhaps they had decided to be married in another location. She soon explained that just that morning she had called her fiancé to break the engagement, for she no longer felt she could live with someone with such differing values. The Scripture says: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14 We have often applied this text as counsel that we should not marry those not of our faith. Could it be that it may also apply to members of the same church? We can’t always assume that all Christians have the same spiritual goals and values as we do. It is just not good enough to say that he or she is a Christian. We need to know that the person with whom we contemplate a deeper relationship, and possibly marriage, has a deep commitment to the Lord. This was an admirable young woman. Especially today when, if a young woman is not married early, she may never marry. She was in her mid-twenties, but I am happy to say she did later marry and have a family. The Lord did not let her down. And I would urge you not to panic into marriage, for He will not let you down. A young woman should not even accept the invitation of a young man until she knows his character, which means a great deal of experi-
    • Can You Live With That? 23 ence and knowledge about each other. We will talk about this a little later. On another occasion, I asked a young woman about the young man with whom she was spending time. Was he a deeply spiritually committed man? Her answer was she didn’t know—“We’ve only known each other for six weeks.” I told this young woman that she could be sure that he was not a spiritual man. If in six weeks he had not indicated to her his love for God and shown an interest in the spiritual salvation of others— without question he was not truly converted. She felt that I was unfair in my judgment. But surely you will have to agree that those who really love the Lord cannot hide it for long. When young men or women are fully committed to Christ and their lives revolve around ministry for God and man, it does not take very long to recognize this attribute. Their conversation, their activities, all testify that they are sons and daughters of the King. I feel concerned for young people today. They are under so much pressure for marriage—pressure from their peers, parents, teachers, and often from church members. But let no one pressure you into marriage. The Lord has a plan and purpose for every young man and woman. There is no reason to panic or to rush into marriage. On the contrary, there is every reason to allow God to lead. Marriage is a sacred commitment that no true Christian can enter into lightly.
    • 6 There’s Just One More Rule M Y wife and I had not been married long when we had an opportunity to test God’s principles in marriage preparation. I was thirty when my young sister, then almost sixteen, came to live with us. Our parents had moved to another state in Australia, where the system of education differed greatly from that of the original state. So she came to further her education with us back in her home state. We realized that, as an attractive young woman, she would soon be very popular with the young men. We attended a church with few members and no likely suitors. However, not long after she had arrived, we attended a city-wide combined youth rally in one of the city halls. Because of my great love for my sister, I sat down with her and we discussed a few “suggestions” by which we would operate. One was that if any young man invited her to go anywhere, he should first obtain the approval of my wife or me. As you could expect, she did not react enthusiastically to this. She was sure that mother and father would not have made such a condition, but we explained that we were caring for her and desired to help her be everything that our parents wanted her to be. At the end of this combined rally, a handsome blond young man was easing towards me. His hesitancy quickly indicated the probable circumstances. Eventually he asked if I were the brother of my sister. He then said that he had asked my sister if he could drive her home and she had indicated (for which I was thankful) that he would need first to obtain my permission. I told him that was right, and asked whether he meant to take her directly home. Hesitatingly he agreed. My wife and I met them at our home seven or eight miles away, but the young man didn’t seem too interested in our company. He soon left with a promise to call my sister shortly. My sister was not altogether happy with the situation, and urged that I not answer the phone because I might offend him. Then I made a further “suggestion.” If this young man wanted to date her, my wife and I 24
    • There’s Just One More Rule 25 would accompany them. There is no need to explain her reaction to this “one more suggestion.” She was less than appreciative of our loving concern. Naturally she perceived our concern as an unwarranted restriction. I asked if she really knew anything about this young man. Of course she knew nothing except that he was handsome and masculine. I suggested that we should find out more about him. This led to the discovery that he did not attend church regularly but spent most of his weekends surfing. He was not a young man of principle whom I wanted to associate with my sister. Interestingly enough, during that year my sister met the young man whom she eventually married. He is a man who has proved to be an outstanding lay Christian worker, as well as having a most successful professional career. Their romance started innocently. His mother asked if we planned to attend the birthday celebration for the son of our church pastor. We said we were, and she asked if we would take her son. Our sister had overheard the conversation and asked who the young man was. I explained that he was the son of a friend of ours. After determining that his age was about one year beyond hers, she wanted to know what kind of young man he was. When told that he was a serious young man, who was successful academically, she promptly declared that he sounded boring. And we weren’t to expect her to spend the evening with him. We explained that it was not in our plan at all. We were just helping out a friend, and that she could fellowship with whomever she wanted as long as she stayed within the hall where the gathering was held. But during the evening, I noticed that she never left this particular young man. Over the next few months we occasionally got requests from the young man’s mother to have my sister spend time with their family, and occasionally we had the young man over to spend time with us. At the end of the school year, when she returned to our parents’ home over 500 miles away, the relationship faded. Over the next six years they saw each other but once or twice. But then on the initiative of the young man, they began to see each other again, and in the Lord’s providence they were married. What had seemed like unreasonable restrictions proved to be a great blessing. If you have strict parents, think again that you might be the privileged one because you have parents who care enough to help you through the difficult time of youth and adolescence. The unfortunate youth is the one whose parents allow him or her to do just whatever he or she pleases. And should you be so unfortunate as to have parents like that, you would
    • 26 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE be wise to find caring adults, wise and deeply committed to the Lord, and ask them to guide you and to act as a second father and/or mother. In preparation for marriage, nothing is more important than following God’s principles.
    • 7 Forty? Easy! D URING a Week of Spiritual Emphasis I was conducting at a Christian academy, a seventeen-year-old young man visited me. Obviously insecure and somewhat uncertain of himself, he did have a flair that found expression in association with young women. He had come from an unstable background and expressed insecurities so often seen in young people from such tragic circumstances. I asked how many girls he had dated. He said he didn’t know. When asked if he had dated ten girls, he laughed. Twenty? “Much more than that.” Forty? “Easy.” Sixty? “Maybe.” Surely, for him, all these women were crucial to his self-image. The more girls he dated the more he felt worth something. What a fragile basis upon which to build one’s self-image! I did not explore fully the activities he had engaged in with these girls, but the implications were that at least he had engaged in heavy petting with many. I felt frustrated for this young man and others like him. He may have lived a life more exaggerated in this regard than others, but the principle is much the same. So often we learn wrongly that the way to prepare for marriage is to date around. How different this is from God’s plan! It may shock you but it must be said if I am going to give you the wise counsel that God would have you receive: Dating around is not God’s way to prepare for marriage. When visiting a group of seniors in an academy once, I had asked the Bible teacher what topic I should discuss. He said, “We are talking about preparation for marriage. Why don’t you deal with that?” I decided to shock the young people and succeeded to a point that made me concerned that it may not have been the correct approach. My first comment to them was, “Young people, do you realize that dating around is not God’s way of preparing for marriage?” Seeing the young 27
    • 28 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE people turn to their Bible teacher, I knew what he must have been teaching them. I persisted, and in the end believe that, at least intellectually, all of them were convinced (except the most habitual Cassanovas) that God’s way is not extensive dating. All the school banquets have not helped either. It is hard to win in a banquet situation. The popular girls cannot handle the flattery of receiving many invitations to banquets, at least not during the teen years. But those not asked feel devastated. You may not be aware how often banquet night is one of the most miserable in the year for a boarding school’s girls’ dean. She often spends much time into the wee hours of the morning consoling the girls who think they are worth nothing because no one has invited them to the banquet. For many young men, banquet night can also be terrifying. They fear a refusal if they ask, and they fear ridicule if they do not ask. It’s a pressure that you should not be forced to bear. The Lord is calling you for far more serious things than banquets. Think of young women who are popular. The pressure on them to break down their morality is great. Yet the girl who rarely gets an invitation has similar pressure. When she is invited out, her desire to be accepted may lead her to allow her date to do almost anything. It’s sad that this situation confronts even Christian youth today. Think of those who have dated often. Even if they have not broken down into immorality, they have learned to get their excitement by the number of men who invite them, or the number of girls who accept their invitation. One day they will be standing before the altar and promising to “love, honor, cherish until death do us part, and to keep thee only unto myself as long as we both shall live.” The promise is to keep the one standing beside me to the exclusion of all others in the world. Surely almost everyone is sincere, but often even within the first year of marriage one of the partners is unfaithful. Indeed, I’ve had girls tell me that on their honeymoon their husbands were looking at other women. We are creatures of habit. What we do in our preparation for marriage affects profoundly what our married life will be like. Marrying does not change character or long-established habits. Only Christ can do that. God’s plan is different. We should not draw out the affections of one another until we are ready to make lasting commitments. My next declaration will shock you and probably your parents. Courtship is not wisely undertaken until we have completed our preparation for the work of God. That would mean, for many of us, completing our college education. You have probably never been confronted with this counsel. Even Christians often live by the rule of experience rather than by principles consistent with God’s Word.
    • Forty? Easy! 29 You might wonder why God’s ways are so different. Is this not being unfair? Think carefully. Indeed, when we see that the divorce rate among Christians is almost as high as it is for non-Christians, we know something is wrong. We need to look to Christ and His ways. Sometimes what seems to be the hard way becomes the best way. You may say that we are living in a different age now. We are, but it’s not a better age. Perhaps the counsel of the prophet Jeremiah is applicable. He said: Ask for the old paths. where is the good way. Jeremiah 6:16 A student came into my office with tears cascading down her face. It was summertime. A young man had invited her to go out with him. Without any checking, or any prior knowledge of this young man, she had accepted. They dated a number of times. Later, he was leaving for another part of the country and asked if she would like to have the use of his car while he was away. She thought this offer was generous. But the day after he had left, she received a phone call from a woman who wanted to know if she was driving a certain car. She was. The caller said, “I want you to know that is my husband’s car.” This nineteen-year-old was devastated. I asked her if her parents had counseled her not to accept invitations from men she did not know. They had not. This precious young woman was terribly hurt because she had not followed the simple principles that God has set for her happiness and protection.
    • 8 But She Says She’ll Divorce Me A young man walked into my office. He was a graduate of the college where I was serving, but I did not know him well. His opening statement gave the reason for his visit. “Dr. Standish, I believe God is calling me into the gospel ministry.” I indicated that I was delighted to know that, but I could sense no spark in his spirit. He then added, “But my wife says she will divorce me if I train for the ministry.” I felt helpless. What could I say? Should I advise him to reject the call of God, or to do that which his wife had declared would break up their marriage? My heart yearned for him. If only I could do something to turn the clock back and help him to see that marriage is unwise until we are prepared for God’s work. There is a desired order in our great choices. Obviously, the first decision is for Christ. No other important decision should be made before this one, because it overshadows, and will reflect on every other decision, big and small, that we subsequently make. The second great decision is to prepare for a life calling. You will notice that I did not say an occupation, nor a career. A young woman once asked if there was not a place in the Christian’s life for a career or an occupation. I pointed out that the Christian has something far beyond either of these. It is a divine calling to follow in the pathway that God would direct. Once this preparation has been completed, then we are in a position to begin to explore God’s leading toward a life partner. And then, of course, the fourth great decision of the married couple is to have children. Have you considered how frequently this order is reversed? Today we find many young people having babies long before they’ve even considered marriage. It is an irresponsibility that often leads to unhappiness for the young man and woman, to say nothing of the precious young life that has to face an uncertain world without the stability of wellestablished and converted parents. 30
    • But She Says She’ll Divorce Me 31 Others join their lives together before they know where God is leading them. Maybe they never make a decision for Christ. How quickly Satan tries to spin his web of deception around us. God has a divine way that may seem different from what we want. But the Scripture says: There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. Proverbs 14:12 Have you ever thought of what it means to marry someone who has goals altogether different from yours? Have you thought of what it means if God is calling you in a direction different from that of the person you marry? Should you marry such a one, neither of you can fully accomplish the purposes that God has in your life. It is essential that the callings of both be compatible. I have had anguish with this problem. Some wives have established a particular profession in a locality. The time has come to move the husband to another district, and they feel that they cannot move. These difficulties need not be, if we follow God’s counsel. Security and happiness in marriage depend not on following some of God’s plans, but in following all. Not that God cannot still pour His blessing upon us if we turn back to Him after having gone our own way. But it may mean that we cannot achieve all that God has in mind for us. Before any attempt is made to call out the affections of another young person, it is essential that readiness factors be carefully considered. (1) Spiritual preparation: Is Christ first and complete in our lives? Will our marriage enrich our ministry? Is a knowledge of God and study of His truth paramount? Do we know how to share the great Bible gospel? (2) Educational preparation: Have we completed our education and are we ready to fulfill our service for God? (3) Life calling: Do we have an understanding of the specific ministry into which the Lord is calling us? Are these callings compatible in a way that will not cause friction later? Should you be called to areas of service that are developed upon practical or professional skills you must be prepared to use this calling to help others prepare for the kingdom of God. His service must ever be uppermost. (4) Social and emotional maturity: Are we able to make wise and independent decisions based upon Christian principles? Is our selfimage secure in Christ? Have we learned how to share rather than to be dependent upon “getting” for security? Is our love built upon principle rather than upon emotion? (5) Economic readiness: Are we able to handle money responsibly? Do we sense our stewardship obligations to God and our fellowman? Do we have sufficient agreement on the handling of the financial resources of the home? Do we have income to
    • 32 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE provide for a life that will not bring discredit to the Lord? Are we free from major crippling debt? (6) Agreement: Do we share agreement on life goals? Do we have harmony on family size and management? Do we have support in the relationship from our family and from wise spiritual counselors? (7) Household skills: Do we have practical skills that support the needs of the home? Is the wife-to-be skilled in simple maintenance and gardening skills as well as healthful cooking and house keeping? Is the husband-to-be skilled in domestic duties as well as gardening and practical work? These are all questions that need to be answered also in respect to the one whom we are considering. You might say these are lofty goals. Yes, they are, but you are being called into the most challenging service entrusted to mankind—to take the glorious gospel of a soon-coming Saviour to the ends of the world. We cannot entrust you to ordinary education or to ordinary principles of life’s preparation. Divine principles are fit for sons and daughters of God who are called to inherit the Kingdom.
    • 9 We Were About to Break Down I T WAS a large camp meeting and I had nine meetings with the youth group; scheduled as second speaker on a double-headed program. My plane was delayed and I barely arrived in time for the first meeting. This was enough to create some tension for me. Then, too, some of the ministers felt that I was too conservative. The young people wouldn’t want to listen to sermons like that. At the end of my first meeting, some ministers in charge of the youth division approached the minister responsible for my invitation, telling him, “This man won’t last with these young people. The kids aren’t prepared to take the kind of straight talk that he is giving.” By Tuesday night these ministers were silent, for under the power of the Holy Spirit the young people became convicted of God’s way. By the following Friday night the number present had doubled. Even some of the parents left the major meetings to hear what was being said to their youth. From experiences like this I know that you don’t want half answers. You want to know God’s way and what is best for you. At the end of one of the meetings, at which I had talked about morality, two fine young women approached me. They were to be seniors the next year at a Christian academy. They were obviously leaders and held responsibilities in the student association for the next year. Their burden at the moment was to dialogue with me about morality. These girls had remained virgins, despite considerable pressure from peers. They said, “We were about to break down because everyone seems to be doing it. We wondered if there is something wrong with us. But by the grace of God we plan to do everything to retain our purity for the one whom God has chosen for us to marry.” These comments reflected on the comments I had made in the talk that night. How I hope these young women fulfilled that commitment, for premarital chastity is one of the greatest barriers against marital breakdown. Evidence abounds showing that the more sexual behavior before marriage, the less secure will be the married life. If sexual activity has taken place with others besides the one whom 33
    • 34 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE we are about to marry, the dangers are even greater. What a tragic price for all the wickedness in the world today! Premarital sex is sin. The Bible makes it clear that fornication, or sexual relationships between unmarried people, unrepented and unforsaken, will keep you out of the kingdom of heaven. Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, or evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: For which things’ sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience. Colossians 3:5, 6 Galatians 5:19–21 lists fornication amongst the sins which Paul says are of such a nature that They which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:21 God is calling for a pure generation to share His gospel with the world. You will notice that His final people are referred to as virgins, a symbol of the purity of life (Rev. 14:4). These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. These were redeemed from among men, being the firstfruits unto God and to the Lamb. Revelation 14:4 Have you already broken down in morality? If so I refer you to a loving God who has promised that He is able to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by Him, seeing He ever liveth to make intercession for them. Hebrews 7:25 You are also promised Whoso confesseth and forsaketh them [sins] shall have mercy. Proverbs 28:13 Our sins are buried in the depths of the sea. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us. Psalms 103:12 If you have remained chaste, may God bless and keep you pure. If you have not, turn to the One who in all compassion is anxious to forgive you as you take hold of His power to discontinue sin. A friend who had two daughters told me that he was determined that he was going to get his daughters to the altar “pure.” I remember the triumphal statement that he made, saying that he had succeeded. The two
    • We Were About to Break Down 35 daughters and the interested young men had not always appreciated the strictness, but now all recognize how much better his way was. To follow one’s own impulse is to face an uncertain future. Parents who provide safe parameters for their children are wise parents.
    • 10 If Only You Had Come Last Week T no place can you understand the heartbreak of young people more clearly than at an academy or high school Week of Spiritual Emphasis. Few activities drain me more than to meet young people with their desperate needs. On one occasion a fifteen-year-old girl visited me. With tears she said, “If only you had come last week.” She told me that she had had sexual relationships with a thirty-seven-year-old man the previous weekend. She was scared. She didn’t know what was going to happen. She didn’t know whether she was pregnant. Of course, I wasn’t able to determine that, but did know she needed the most tender love and care. She came from a tragic background. She had been molested by her elementary school principal. Her mother had left two husbands and was then living with a third man. How often I would love to take such young people and somehow obliterate from their minds many of the previous events of their lives! I did everything I could to turn this young girl to the all-sufficient power of Christ. Consider the compassion and love of our Saviour. When the accusers came against Mary Magdalene, Jesus dispersed them by writing in the sand their own iniquity. He then turned to Mary and said, A Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more (John 8:11). This woman was an adulteress, yet the Lord did not condemn her. His compassion was such that He could not condone her sin nor tell her to go back to sinning. The latter part of Jesus’ response—“go and sin no more”—shows just as much pity and love as when He forgave her. Jesus knew that she could not continue in sin. Not only would - 36 -
    • 37 If Only You Had Come Last Week this break her relationship with God, but it would cause her to continue with the low self-image and worthlessness which she felt. The Lord wanted to lift her from the pit of despair and discouragement onto the platform of victory and joy. So if you have had difficulty in any area of morality, take hope. If you have a particular weakness or a number of them don’t be afraid to be specific in your prayers asking Jesus to provide special strength to overcome that specific sin. Remember “With God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26). We have a sympathetic Saviour and heavenly Father who is willing not only to forgive our sins, but also to give us victory over them. How? The formula is simple, but all too easily forgotten. Every day with sincerity come before Jesus asking Him to take your life and do for you what you cannot do for yourself. Do not tell Jesus that you can give Him your life. That is an impossibility. You are not strong enough nor is any other human being. But every day, and every time you are tempted, you can ask Jesus to take your life and give you the victory. James explains it so well. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you (James 4:7). How I long to see everyone with that kind of victory! But how much more does Jesus want to give it to you. Once our lives are surrendered to Jesus we have His infinite power to repulse temptation so that when we resist Satan cannot gain the victory.
    • 11 I Can’t Control Myself H E came during that summer and told me things that no other young man ever had. Why he came to the president of the college was hard to understand. By all rights, he should have been expelled. However, this young man was searching, seeking to discover the answer to the awful immorality in his life. He even confessed that he had seduced some of the students at the college. His one earnest plea was for help because, “I can’t control myself.” I agreed to meet with him regularly; yet assured him that I didn’t have any power to give him control over his sexual emotions, but I did know that One who could. All through the summer we spent time together. I pointed him to Jesus and some of the principles that would help him to overcome the desire to seduce young women. We prayed together earnestly. His prayers and anguish of heart were unforgettable. I saw him find a new relationship with Jesus, and sensed the growing understanding of the power of Christ in his life. I saw a change in his countenance. This young man, riddled with guilt and remorse, began to relish the victory that Jesus alone could give. The Lord had to change many years of abominable practices. And that is what He did indeed. Probably he was not too different from other students. Though I was not aware of all their problems, I knew some were carrying guilt from years of sin. I remember the sweet young student who regretted the weakness she had shown under pressure as a fourteen-year-old freshman in academy. Or the young man who regretted the emotional injury his sexual advances made upon a young woman he had dated. Often such scenes are hard to eradicate. At this point, a straight message to the males. God has given us responsibility to preserve the integrity of every young woman. As men, we cannot escape that responsibility. Every young woman is precious in the sight of God. She is to be a temple of the Holy Spirit. Her life and habits are to be pure and wholesome. Only then can she be assured of having the freedom to be all God wants her to be in His service and in 38
    • I Can’t Control Myself 39 her adult life as a wife and mother. Many a precious young woman has been led into despair by the pressures of a young man. It is essential for you to remember that the most sacred responsibility God has given to us is in our relationship to others. There was a time when chastity was highly prized. Today many young people are likely to say, “Well, who cares?” God cares! And the marks and scars on His brow and hands tell us God cares because He loves us. I urge you to do everything you can to protect, not seduce, young women. If you hear much bragging about the exploitations of fellow young men do not weaken. Instead, move away to where your mind will not be perverted by Satan’s enchantments. If you are a young woman, preserve your dignity by never putting yourself in a situation that will encourage a young man to seduce you. Have a friendliness that never allows physical intimacy. Show the young man that you are not cheap. As I told the young man whose story introduced this chapter—because of the grave danger involved—don’t so much as lay a little finger upon a girl. For Satan will use that to tempt you. Never allow a boy to touch you with improper familiarity in jest or play. Yet it may be true that sometimes it happens before you know it. In such cases, you need to make it clear that it is not appreciated. Don’t be afraid of his reaction. Young men value the high principles of such a young woman. What if he fails to respond to your request? you may ask. Let me answer your question by asking one. Is this the only kind of man to whom you would want to be married? Perhaps another area needs focus. Often, without intending, young women stimulate the wrong emotions of young men by their dress, actions, or language. There are even those who deliberately seduce young men. How close the young men must stay to Jesus that they not yield in deliberate or unintentional seduction. Together, both young men and young women can work to preserve the sacred circle of purity. That will be characteristic of those who are to give God’s gospel to the world. You see, the gospel of salvation cannot be given by adulterous people. It cannot be given by those with flawed character or defects of behavior because then many would turn away from the gospel, not because of the gospel itself, but because of the messenger. The message for today’s generation is God’s final effort to give every human being an opportunity to choose to serve Him. God is speaking to your generation in unmistakable terms. Don’t worry about what others do. Why not accept the challenge today?
    • 12 Why Did I Kill Them? W HILE I was chairman of the psychology department of a christian college, my office door burst open and a woman staggered in and fell at my knees. She was sobbing uncontrollably. A nursing student at the college, she had just begun the course in pediatric nursing that dealt with the treatment of children. This course brought back to her mind abortions she had undergone seven and nine years earlier. She pleaded, “Why did I kill them? Why did I kill them?” The tragic situation was accentuated because she was not a Christian, and though I told her of the love and forgiveness of Jesus, she could not understand. She was manifesting strong feelings of uncontrollable anguish and guilt. Today at least one and a half million abortions are conducted annually in America. That is three times the number of soldiers killed in the Civil War. This awesome carnage of life is hard to believe. Even among those who claim to be Christians there is wholesale use of the abortion clinic. If we would take the steps God has ordained in morality there would be no need for abortions. But the question arises: If we have allowed our passions to gain control, what should we do? My plea is that we not add sin to sin. Young man, if you are responsible for a pregnancy do not put pressure upon the young woman to abort. This is a heinous crime before God. The Lord clearly condemns those who are responsible for such acts. Solomon talks of the seven things the Lord hates. Among them is, hands that shed innocent blood (Proverbs 6:17). It is often argued that the unborn is not really a person, but that cannot be true in the light of Scripture. Let me share a couple of texts of Scripture with you, and see how God understands life before birth. Referring to John the Baptist: He shall be great in the sight of the Lord, and shall drink neither wine nor strong drink; and he shall be filled with the Holy Ghost, even in his mother’s womb. Luke 1:15 40
    • Why Did I Kill Them? 41 In other words, while John the Baptist was still in his mother’s womb, he was overshadowed by the Holy Spirit. The Bible also states: And it came to pass, that, when Elisabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb. Luke 1:41, emphasis added Long before the birth of John the Baptist, he was considered by God to be a babe, not some growth or some dispensable piece of tissue, but a human being. How sacred is the Scriptures’ description of prenatal life. The prophet Jeremiah had a similar experience. Note these words carefully: Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. Jeremiah 1:5 Here the Lord had sanctified Jeremiah in the womb. Isaiah also had a similar experience: The Lord hath called me from the womb; from the bowels of my mother hath he made mention of my name. Isaiah 49:1 How important for young people to realize that once conception has taken place there is a new life, and God is calling us to preserve that life, even if it has been the result of fornication. In no way can we honor God by adding one sin to another. David states plainly that God had a perfect “blueprint” of each one of us from the beginning or our prenatal life. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Psalm 139:14, 15 Yet how careless of that life are we who have been created by God. I have read articles by those who last century, in the 1860s and 1870s fought to protect the lives of unborn babies. Led by a Dr. Miller from Boston, earnest citizens across the country succeeded in obtaining legislation to halt this evil practice. As late as the 1960s when my brother was studying medicine at the University in Sydney, all students were warned of the dire consequences of performing a permissive abortion. At that time a doctor found guilty of such a crime received a prison term of five to seven years in jail and was never permitted to practice medicine again. The consequences of abortion are always tragic. Here are a few experiences and observations. A student who had two abortions while at academy was told that in all probability, she now could not have any children
    • 42 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE of her own. I still remember the anguish of the dean of women as she sought to comfort this young woman. Another young woman, after getting pregnant, was pressured to abort by the young man responsible. For years afterwards, every time she saw a child who was about the age her child would have been, she began to cry. And there was agony for a woman beyond eighty years of age, in an English medical center. While living in Germany fifty years before, this Jewish woman had aborted because of her fear of Hitler’s Nazism. Even after many years, she still experienced emotional and spiritual guilt. On the other hand, there are positive experiences, such as the young woman who, while in college, came to tell me that she thought she was pregnant from an encounter which had occurred before she had come to school. We talked about alternatives. Of course, I did not see abortion as an alternative, and neither did she. Indeed, she decided to keep the child, though it may have limited the usefulness and sphere of her activity. You ask, “But what happens in the case of incest or rape?” This crime creates an awesome conflict, especially when a youngster is involved. How I wish that parents were more protective, and were of such morality that these kinds of things would not happen. But they do. Yet the life that has been initiated is a life given by God. My approach to this situation was strengthened when some time ago I met a mother and her 5month-old daughter. I did not know the circumstances that led to the birth of this child, but I saw a mother who was happy with her daughter, and a daughter who was obviously relating in a wonderful way to her mother. Later I was told that this daughter was the result of incestuous rape. Most would argue that the only sensible thing to do would be to abort. But this mother would not ever consider abortion. She knew the value of a life. The Son of God was willing to die for one soul. This sacrifice ought to tell us something of the value God places upon every soul. You may ask questions concerning a babe who is malformed or brain-damaged. God has not given human beings the right to determine who should live or die. Tragic though these circumstances are, God has promised us strength in every circumstance. Please remember, however, if you have been involved in an abortion, you have a faithful High Priest who is touched with the feelings of our infirmities (Hebrews 4:15). He is compassionate, and above all is forgiving. How I would urge you to confess before Him and stand in His strength, choosing never to violate His will again in this way!
    • 13 I Want to Have a Happy Marriage H ER dream was not very different from that of most other humans. She said, “I wanted to have a happy marriage.” Her husband had been a student of mine. On many occasions before marrying they had spent hours dialoguing as to how they were not going to allow their marriage to break up like many others. They had reason for concern. Both had come from broken homes and had seen the sadness and anguish it had caused. The young man particularly felt bitter that his father had deserted his mother, and they had made a covenant that they would never break up. But less than one year after they married, he was having an affair. The discovery devastated his young wife. She loved her husband, had trusted him, and felt the vows and commitments that they had made to each other were genuine. During the short marriage, she had never feared that anything like this might occur, but here it was—stark reality staring her in the face. Her husband already, in such a short period of time, had sought the affections of another woman. Knowing the young man, I am convinced that his vow at the altar was serious. He really meant it when he said he would be faithful. But something had gone wrong. What was it? Perhaps a little reflection of what marriage is and what it means will help. The marriage vow is the second most sacred vow that we take—second only to the vow to love, honor, and serve our Lord throughout life, and indeed throughout eternity. The marriage vow is taken not only in the presence of human witnesses but also in the presence and fear of God. Therefore it is most serious when this vow is broken. Yet we find it being broken by thousands everyday. Like fornicators, adulterers (those who violate the marriage vow by an affair with someone else) will not be in the kingdom of heaven, unless they repent. Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, 43
    • 44 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19–21 Yet much of the information we receive on television, on radio, and in magazines, makes light of extramarital affairs. How can we be sure that our marriage will not succumb to this pressure? There is a simple yet little used formula. The novelist often writes about the “eternal triangle,” where a third person encroaches upon a marriage relationship. That is Satan’s counterfeit. God also has an eternal triangle composed of God, the husband, and the wife. God loves the husband and wife supremely. If both, under the guidance of the Lord and in His love and strength, have daily moved together to form their marriage partnership then that marriage is invincible, if they always retain their relationship with their God. It has been said that it takes two to make a divorce. That is not true. It takes only one. When one loses a relationship with God, then the marriage is vulnerable. It can break. Satan can find ways to cause alienation. The key is that every day we must make a commitment to God and to our partner. When a married couple pray together for each other, every morning and evening at family worship, it would be difficult for either to be unfaithful during the day. The bands of true love and fidelity are strengthened. God will give the power and the growing love that is important for the continuance of marriage. A marriage is not necessarily secure because it has endured for twenty or thirty years. Men and women in middle life divorce. Often after the children have left home the marriage breaks up. We need the power of Jesus just as much in our middle life and older age as we do when we are younger. The habits we form and the commitments we make in youth frequently determine what we will do later. Few things are more beautiful than to meet men and women who have been married forty, fifty, sixty years and who have an even deeper love for one another than they had in their early married life. That is what God wants, and that is what we can have. Even secular medical advice actually supports the counsel of God. Those offering this advice do it, not from a moral or spiritual perspective, but from a health perspective. The medical associations in the United States now say that the only truly healthy relationships are monogamous. That is the relationship where there is one husband and one wife, and no previous or extramarital sexual experience. Certainly with the various forms of sexual diseases that are rampant in our society today, it is understandable. The Lord has said the two shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24).
    • I Want to Have a Happy Marriage 45 I want you to have a happy marriage in Christ. Your relationship with Him is crucial if this aim is to be achieved. The only hope for the marriage I referred to at the beginning of the chapter was for that young man to renew a relationship with the Lord. Indeed, the affair led the wife to realize that she too needed a deeper relationship with God.
    • 14 What’s Wrong With It? M ISUNDERSTANDING and misinformation shadow the sensitive and often secretive issue of masturbation. This scourge affects almost every man and a large number of women. Some, especially males, recognizing the almost universality of the act, are inclined to think there is nothing wrong with it. That is not the case. You do struggle today with many challenges and face perplexing problems. Young people mature faster today than they did one hundred years ago, reaching pubescence, or adolescence, at a younger age. Generally speaking, the complexity of life would advise you to marry later than people did a hundred years ago. You are facing a much longer period between coming to physical maturity and readiness for married life. This situation puts heavy pressures on young people, especially since the media and the values of society frequently assert that masturbation is not a problem. Many laugh at nineteenth-century concepts of masturbation. Yet new evidence merits our having a second look at masturbation. From my perspective as a psychologist I sense one very serious problem. Every mental health problem that does not have a physical cause can be traced to self-centeredness. Nothing is more likely to cause a mental breakdown, despondency, or depression than becoming self-centered. Solitary acts directed toward self-gratification will affect your mental health and your emotional stability. Masturbation undertaken by young people affects their emotions, feelings of self-worth, and their security in life. There is other evidence based upon physiological effects, especially for males. With each loss of seminal fluid there is a significant loss of the trace mineral zinc. Zinc is highly concentrated in the testes of the male. Zinc is also crucial for the brain, and some doctors now recognize that promiscuousness of any kind, not only masturbation, does affect the brain. There is a growing concern that this “harmless exploration” does have serious emotional consequences. Dr. David Horrobin of Oxford University relates the problem to zinc deficiency. He states: 46
    • What’s Wrong With It? 47 The effect of zinc deficiency has particularly profound effects on the male, because extraordinary amounts of zinc are found in the testicles and the prostate gland. The amount of zinc in semen is such that one ejaculation may get rid of all the zinc that can be absorbed from the intestines in one day. David Horrobin, M.D., Ph.D., Zinc, Vitabooks, Inc., 1981, p. 8 Horrobin then makes these striking statements: In humans, among the most consistent effects of zinc deficiency are changes in mood and behavior. There is depression, extreme irritability, apathy and even in some circumstances, behavior which looks like schizophrenia. . . . It is even possible, given the importance of zinc for the brain, that 19th century moralists were correct when they said that repeated masturbation could make one mad! Similarly, the high livers were also correct when they said that a diet rich in oysters was necessary to compensate for excessive sexual indulgence. Ibid., 7, 8 Another authority, Dr. Carl Pfeiffer, put it this way: We hate to say it but in a zinc-deficient adolescent, sexual excitement and excessive masturbation might precipitate insanity. Carl Pfeiffer, Ph.D., M.D., Zinc and Other Micro-Nutrients, Keats Publishing, Inc., 1978, p. 45 What can we do as young people to have victory in this area? We must start where we have started in other areas, at the daily surrender of the life to Jesus, asking Jesus to take our lives and preserve us from expressing or indulging this weakness. But there are other issues. Eat regularly of food that is plain and healthful, and not in too large quantities. Exercise vigorously, especially in useful work; it is another bastion against temptation. Guard carefully what we hear and what we see; it is another strong help. We also need to avoid the influence of those whose lives and words are immoral. As soon as an evil thought comes to mind, ask God to take it away. Immediate quoting of Scripture is a great help as it takes the focus from the immoral thought. If we find ourselves in situations that stimulate our thinking in the wrong direction, ask the Lord for strength and move immediately away from them. Under no circumstances must we tolerate sin or sinful thoughts. And of course, there needs to be Bible study. The Word of God, studied and memorized, will give great strength to overcome all temptations. Some have said that nothing in the Bible talks directly against masturbation. Some have found one or two texts that might imply a biblical pronouncement, but certainly the Bible does address the issue in one general sense. When giving His sermon on the mount, Jesus said:
    • 48 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. Matthew 5:28 Masturbation is usually associated with fantasy involving thoughts of the opposite sex. It is clearly condemned in Scripture. I am so glad that God does not leave us without help in this matter. I can recommend a Saviour who not only points out the best pathways of life, but also has promised His strength to fight temptation.
    • 15 It’s Just the Way I Am T HE story was sad. The boy, a college student, was a homosexual. Having worked with a number of homosexuals who genuinely desired for God to give them victory, I longed to help him. But this boy was different, even defiant. He refused help, saying, “It’s the way I am. You’re the other way, I’m this way.” To heterosexuals, homosexuality can be revolting. Indeed, to every true Christian, it should be. In fact, those who sometimes find it most revolting are homosexuals themselves. I have a great burden for those who feel drawn to sexual relationships with members of the same sex, whether they be men or women. A tremendous conflict must take place, especially for those brought up as Christians and who know the way of God. I don’t believe that the sin of homosexuality is any worse than the sin of heterosexual aberrations and malpractices. Unrepented and unforsaken, both will lead to eternal destruction. The leader of a gay activists movement in a large city aggressively told me that homosexuals cannot respond any other way. “We are ten percent of any population,” he said. “We’re born that way.” But studies have indicated that it may not be true. “Well,” he said, “if we are not born that way, it’s learned early, and we cannot change it.” I told him that he was getting close to my field of expertise in learning theory and there were no indications that practices which are learned could not be unlearned. But should homosexuality have an inherent basis, our God is able to give us victory over both learned and inherited tendency to evil. Reversal of homosexual tendencies must be inordinately difficult. Many have struggled for years and still have been held captive by this debasing practice. Today, much is being done to urge the public, including the churches, to accept the homosexuals and their practice. But Scripture is clear on these issues as we will see later. Recently I was dialoguing with a former practicing homosexual who now is part of an organization that provides support for those fighting the challenge of homosexual tendency. Describing his battle, he stated that it 49
    • 50 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE was far more difficult to gain victory over homosexual practice than cigarette smoking. But he had found the reality of the sure promise, “with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26). For a number of years I lived near San Francisco. The media there bombarded listeners and readers with information meant to desensitize them to sin, particularly homosexuality. I remember a talk show in which a caller indicated the immorality of homosexuality. The host promptly cut him off, then spent considerable time railing about prejudice and bias. It is not prejudice that leads the Christian to point out the sin of homosexuality. It is because the sin is destructive to the person and to his eternal destiny. Such practices are condemned in Holy Scripture. Read carefully the following texts. In dealing with the great sins of a reprobate mind, Moses and Paul have given these warnings: Without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection [homosexuality], implacable, unmerciful: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them. Romans 1:31, 32 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. Leviticus 20:13 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. Leviticus 18:22 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind. 1 Corinthians 6:9 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet. Romans 1:27 For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine. 1 Timothy 1:10 Why have I quoted so many texts? Because over the last few years many Christian young people have questioned whether homosexuality is sin. God leaves no doubt. No matter what the human laws say, no matter what the media say, it is an abomination unto God. I don’t have to tell you of the dreadful situations occurring among homosexuals. Not only do they suffer from the terrible guilt and insecu-
    • It’s Just the Way I Am 51 rity often associated with this kind of behavior, but now there is also the dread of loathsome diseases, some of them fatal. We could not help but agonize with a young man who, brought up in a good Christian home, discovered that he had the HIV virus which leads to AIDS. The appalling fear and dismay it generated led him on two occasions to attempt suicide. His parents too are filled with grief and anxiety. But though AIDS eventually took his life he found a forgiving and restoring Saviour who gave great comfort before his death. So many try to convince you that homosexuality is your identity, but homosexuality is your behavior. When this is recognized then you can ask God to give you victory over this behavior one day at a time. How tragic are Satan’s ways! You may think that I’m speaking out too strongly, but it is time to tell it like it is. I don’t want to deceive you. I don’t want to leave you in any doubt as to the purity of life that God wants for His faithful children. God’s ways are not restrictions. They are liberty. I have yet to find a converted Christian living with Christ in His power and strength, who regrets doing so. But I can tell you that I have met hundreds, indeed thousands, many of them young like yourself, who have terrible regrets about living the way of Satan. I assure you that the same is true at the end of life. I have yet to find a person who, on his death bed, has regretted living for Christ. I have been by the bedside of others who were filled with terrible remorse for their lives. One of the most tragic experiences I have had was with a childhood friend who, in his thirties, was dying from cancer. I tried to assure him that Christ was still opening His arms for him, but his simple, pathetic statement was, “It’s no use, Colin, it’s too late.” Not only is the Lord calling you to respond to these challenges, He also calls you to help friends who struggle with some of the same issues that you do. Never consider that God has left you because of your sin for He has promised, “I will never leave thee nor forsake thee” (Hebrews 13:5). Yet all sin does separate us from God (Isaiah 59:2). But God is lovingly seeking to restore us. Remember He is your Creator and He provides power daily for your victory.
    • 16 It’s Just Their Dirty Minds O NE of the hardest areas to share with young people has been that of dress. I’ve been told to mind my own business; that “this is a private affair, and after all it doesn’t matter how you dress. It’s what’s inside that counts.” That is a cop-out. The way you dress often reflects your inner character. And I’m not talking only to young women, but to young men, too. Among today’s generation, many believe that the way we dress has nothing to do with our Christian life. It has much to do with our Christian life. Paul has told us: Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 “Whatsoever we do.” Yes, that includes dress. Our dress is to be to the glory of God; not to draw attention to ourselves because of the flashiness of our dress, or the lack of our dress, or the carelessness of our dress; but to dress modestly and appropriately for every occasion. I like the way it is put by both Peter and Paul; and, while this counsel is written to women, I believe it is just as appropriate to men. Peter says: Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting of the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 1 Peter 3:3, 4 Paul counsels: In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; but (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works. 1 Timothy 2:9, 10 Both texts indicate simplicity, modesty, and the real issue—the inner experience of the life. Our clothes should reflect these principles. While 52
    • It’s Just Their Dirty Minds 53 our clothes should not be way-out or conspicuously unfashionable, they should represent the best level of Christian appropriateness. Some years ago a woman was receiving Bible studies. I wondered just how to approach her concerning jewelry. She wore earrings, necklaces, bangles and rings. I was thankful to be a member of a church where the women thought it was a privilege to uphold God’s best dress standards. The lady had been attending church for some time and had noticed that the women in the church did not wear jewelry. One day she bluntly asked, “What’s the church rules on jewelry?” I wondered on the spur of the moment how to approach it, but said, “Well, we in the church try to follow the counsel of Paul and Peter.” I then read to her the two texts quoted above. She paused, and then said, “That is beautiful. The Lord wants us to present before men and women the appropriateness of our lives.” I have not seen her wear jewelry since. She no longer wanted to dress for the praise of fellow human beings but rather to gratify her God. There is another area I almost hate to approach because it will be easy for you to react negatively. But, before God, I must discuss it because it is clearly defined in God’s Word. This is about the “unisex” trend in our society. Keep in mind that we are bombarded from the fashion houses, frequently by men and women designers who are immoral in lifestyle and motives. From what we understand there are many homosexuals and lesbians among the designers of today. Their intentions are clear. Today it is not uncommon for girls to buy pants from the same rack as boys, but even if they are not exactly identical they still blur the distinctiveness between male and female. It is argued that it makes no difference, yet statistics show that rape, violent assaults and fornication increased to the degree of similarity in dress between females and males. Further, the evidence is that men are less likely to respect women when they are dressed similarly to them. This fact should say something to us. The Word of God does have a clear statement on it. The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination to the LORD thy God. Deuteronomy 22:5 In the 1860s a women’s-rights movement swept across America. Like the modern women’s-liberation movement, it was characterized by the designing of women’s clothing that more and more looked like the clothes worn by men. Such movements not only center upon selfish goals but they also break down the safeguards that God had established to protect us from temptation. You might say that dress varies much around the world. This is true
    • 54 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE but always these societies have a clear distinction between male and female dress. An essential part of your education as a Christian youth is to understand God’s principles of dress. Fashion, self-glorification, and pride are terrible barriers to your spiritual growth. Even profit-motivated organizations who have no Christian direction recognize that your dress often determines whether you will be accepted or rejected, trusted or mistrusted. Certainly simple, neat, modest, and appropriate dress goes far toward protecting young people from Satan’s temptation. We tend to act in accordance with the way we are dressed. And character is frequently projected by our dress. A young woman once told me of her disgust at the number of Christian young men who had invited her out, and then had tried to take sexual advantage of her. She asked, “Don’t these young men realize that I’m not that kind of girl?” I kindly asked her if she had looked in the mirror recently. She knew immediately what I was saying. Here was a girl who was giving young men signals that she didn’t want to give. She was dressing provocatively and sensuously, though a girl of high moral caliber. She said, “It’s just their dirty minds.” That may be true, but whether we like it or not, people judge us by the way we dress. We can be naive about it; we can ignore it; but the facts do not change. If you are a young man, fashions also dictate much of your life. There are young men who in macho style want to bare their chests or expose their bellies. Often the tightness of trousers is also revealing. God has called you, just as much as the young women, to be modest and appropriate. Young people say they want to be individuals. Strangely these same ones are usually those who want to conform most to the latest fads of fashion. Conformity, not individuality, is what they crave. This protestation for freedom is really a call to follow the latest style, no matter how foolish. You know as well as I that such calls result from weakness to resist peer group pressure. It’s a surprise to find how much emphasis is placed on appropriate dress by organizations determined to make the greatest impact in the sales of their products. Often door-to-door salesmen are told they have two to five seconds to make an impact upon the person who comes to the door. This impact cannot be made in terms of the inner character of the salesmen because that cannot be revealed in such a short period of time. The answer comes in the dress which, to many people, indicates the character and credibility of the one knocking on the door. How much more important it is for those of us who are God’s children to represent Him in the way we dress! It is not a little matter. It is most important.
    • 17 I Can Give It Up Any Time I Want To A young man who was regularly drinking alcohol didn’t see anything wrong in it, at least so he said. He assured me that he could quit it anytime he wanted. He just liked the taste. In any case, “Most of the kids at school are drinking, too.” While he may have been exaggerating, I was still concerned that he could make such a statement about young people at a Christian academy. He indicated that many of the young people were trying drugs, especially marijuana. He seemed little concerned that these habits were affecting him. After all, you can’t be addicted if you can give it up easily. Whether this young man would have found it as easy as he claimed to give up alcohol is uncertain. As a psychologist, I knew that the longer he continued to use alcohol and/or drugs the more difficulty he would have quitting them. These habits develop and strengthen by use, and if you are using drugs or alcohol, the easiest time to stop is now. Tomorrow will be just a little harder. A week later, a month, a year, all will add to the strength of the habit and the difficulty of ceasing. Beginning the use of alcohol or drugs often starts innocently. “Just give it a try—just see what it is like—it won’t hurt to try just once.” Yet if you do not try it once it will never become a habit. Many people call alcohol a disease. It’s a strange disease, for it is the only disease we know where people do everything they can, to not only get the disease but to continue with it. Studies have shown that even one alcoholic drink will destroy a number of our brain cells. You may say, “We start with billions of them anyway so what do a few neurons mean?” I must remind you that God has challenged us to keep our bodies holy for Him. Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are. 1 Corinthians 3:16, 17 55
    • 56 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE God gives us responsibility to preserve our body as a temple to Him. Also, we are challenged: Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus. Philippians 2:5 Jesus had a mind that was perfect in its relationship with God. Never for a moment did He allow His mind to be perverted by the use of drugs. Even on the cross in the agony He was experiencing, He refused the vinegar which would have drugged and dulled His pain. The issue is not just that of destroying our body. It is that Satan can find access to tempt us in so many ways. Alcohol and drugs affect the areas of our brain where we make choices and decisions. That makes it much easier to follow Satan than God. We need clarity of mind to face the temptations of Satan and live true for Christ, independent of the ways of this wicked world. Of course alcohol also greatly affects our motor coordination. I need to tell you of the problems of drinking alcohol and taking drugs, but should say something here about tobacco. You might say that tobacco doesn’t affect the mind in the same way alcohol and the other drugs do. That may be partially true, but few drugs destroy the body more effectively than tobacco. You have heard of its relationship to lung cancer, emphysema, and heart attacks. Statistics have shown that almost every known disease is more likely to affect a smoker than a non-smoker. Other studies indicate that the tobacco habit is one of the most addictive, about as addictive as heroin. I was amazed once by the assertion of a physician that a person would have to be 105 pounds overweight to have the same health risk as a person who smoked one pack of cigarettes a day. How important that we preserve our bodies pure and holy unto the Lord! You may say that you do not use any of these drugs. What about coffee, tea, or cola? These also are harmful. They stimulate the nervous system and wear out the vital forces God has given to us to work for Him and to witness of His love to men and women. While alcohol causes acute physical and mental problems—including heart disease, brain damage, stomach ulcers, liver failure, pancreatic problems, and many other diseases, caffeine also is associated with many physical and psychological problems including duodenal ulcers, heart attacks, stress, and hyperactivity. Even if you can give up these drugs at a moment’s notice, every use of them has an effect upon your body, an effect that will reduce the effectiveness of your service for God and man. Truly converted youth
    • I Can Give It Up Any Time I Want To 57 will comprise men and women who will do nothing to violate their body temple. They will eat and drink that which is pure and beneficial. They will want to represent Jesus in every detail of their lives.
    • 18 The Moral Trap W E are in a sin-crazed world and Satan is targeting young people like yourself to destroy the foundation of your life—self-control. God has given to us the sex drive, (1) to bring to a marriage a loving intimacy that will bind the marriage partners together in a way that will form a sacred circle that no other human being has any right to enter; (2) to provide for the conception of life that the race will not become extinct. But Satan seeks to inflame our passions and, filled with lust and unrestrained desires, many seek to pervert sex in most disgusting and abominable ways. Unrestrained by God or man, all reason and judgment is put aside for the gratification of evil desires and ungodly passion. The Bible says, There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. Proverb 14:12 We have seen public figures, politicians, movie celebrities, sports stars and men and women in almost all walks of life fall into these debasing ways. Some have literally lost their lives over their unrestrained lifestyle. Of course we can focus on the physical dangers including herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea and AIDS; and all have devastating consequences, some deadly. A marriage where both partners have had no previous sexual exposure before marriage and remain exclusively faithful to one another is always the safest life still. Indeed in such circumstances there is almost no risk of catching the above diseases. These are the diseases of immorality and promiscuity. But I want to look at much deeper issues than those physical issues that focus upon the fear of these dreaded diseases. The emotional and spiritual issues go far deeper. First, the emotional. behavior of immorality before marriage develops a craving for the brief excitement of new encounters but it also breeds guilt, condemnation and insecurity. There is no long term stability in such relations and many are severely hurt. There 58
    • The Moral Trap 59 is no lasting assurance of the love of another. After the excitement passes there is discontent and a need to seek new conquests to try to fill the emptiness of the soul. But such emptiness remains. In later life there are regrets. I once talked to a man responsible for the child of a young woman. He had denied that he was the father of the child in court and was acquitted by a jury (something unlikely today with the great development of paternity tests). He has never supported that child and has left the mother to support it. It has led to misery in his life and great stress upon himself and his wife. Was this emotional turmoil worth the few minutes of excitement?—hardly. The spiritual issues are ever more enduring for they can be of eternal consequences. The Bible is plain on the eternal destiny of those who are sexually immoral. Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19–21 We must guard daily the senses against that kind of stimulation that will tempt us to sin. In Bible history the times before the flood were known for their wickedness, as were the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, but in today’s sex-driven society and with the evil sophistication of the endtime of this world, these former examples of debasing conduct pale into insignificance. It is so easy to be drawn to pornographic magazines and pornographic movies, but these are Satan’s traps. The television provides programs which are forbidden ground for God’s sons and daughters. Never allow curiosity to break your vow to guard your senses. Today we have an even greater threat from the computer online services. Many young people have been trapped by those who prey upon children and youth, hoping to lead them into the most abominable life styles. The world we live in is becoming an increasingly dangerous place for little children and youth. Even some children have been lured not only to lives of abominations but also to their deaths after being sexually abused. Whenever Satan attempts to lure you to a life of sin, resist him but do it in the daily power of Christ. Remember that you have been created to shed the character of Christ around the world. The easiest time to stop bad habits is to never begin them. For those who have begun bad habits, I pray that you will become holy vessels for the Lord. He not only
    • 60 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE can forgive you, He is able to give you the strength to overcome. Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy. Jude 24
    • 19 Decision Making Y OUTH is the age of decision making that might well decide the whole direction of your lives. As the challenge of increasing independence comes, so the degree of responsibility increases. Remember that freedom brings responsibility. As young people gain more and more opportunities to decide matters for themselves with lessening parental control there comes the stark reality that you will have to face the consequences of your decisions. Well can I remember that as an early teenager I could not wait to reach eighteen years of age. I didn’t know why eighteen, for in those days the coming of adulthood was thought to be twenty-one. But somehow I felt that at eighteen I would be able to do whatever I wanted to do. There would be no parents to control my behavior, to tell me what not to do or what to do. But I had little concept of what responsibilities that would bring. As life developed I found myself in a high degree of responsibility three months after I turned eighteen. I had finished my teacher training and was taking up the responsibility of teaching in my first school in a little one-teacher school in a remote part of Australia. Suddenly the responsibilities were great for such an inexperienced youth. As we increase in responsibilities we need to deepen our dependence on God. We need to exercise faith in bold courage. We need to have the moral strength to do what is right because it is right and will honor God and witness to His power in our lives. Taking upon ourselves the responsibility of independence demands that that independence be exercised not alone but with earnest seeking of God’s will and seeking counsel from godly men and women of experience. I can never forget the counsel of my father that late evening as we waited together for arrival of the train that would take me 550 miles away from my home to my first appointment as a teacher. In many ways my emotions were mixed. I was buoyed with hope of the challenge that I now faced. I had the lingering fear that maybe I would not be successful. 61
    • Decision Making 62 I had the uncertainty of going to a place I had never been to before, and interrelating with students and parents none of whom I knew. I doubt I remember before or since my Dad giving me such earnest counsel. Like any godly parent, he had great hopes for his boy who was so inexperienced and wanted him to succeed under the direction of the Lord. The decisions you make now will determine to a large extent the level of struggles you will have in the future. Making wise, right decisions now forms habits that will be invaluable in the future. How do you make your decisions now? Do you make decisions on impulse, on feelings, on human desire or are they made on principle, looking at both short and long term consequences? Is Christ taken into account on every decision you make? Do you evaluate your wants in the light of the needs of God’s work and the needs of deprived humanity? In your interpersonal relationship do you safeguard the integrity of others, doing nothing that would lead them in a pathway that is certain to compromise their future? How responsible we are not only for our own salvation but the salvation of others. Do you find that your decisions lead to any of the following emotions: emptiness, regret, uncertainty, embarrassment, discontent, guilt or pride? Then Christ is not united with your life. If you find that your decisions lead to fulfillment, joy, peace, contentment or gratefulness, then it is likely that your decisions are motivated by the love of Christ which has eliminated selfish desires and ambitions. Only as we are abiding in Christ and Christ is abiding in us can we have true purpose and happiness in life. Remember, God has given to you the power of choice. Right, selfless choices are possible only with Christ. A lifetime of good choices leads to happiness all throughout life. I was still in my twenties when I learned how important unselfishness is. With others I was visiting a man in his eighties who was dying with heart failure. He confided his condition to us and then concluded, “I had no thought that I was getting old until this happened to me.” He had been so absorbed in his ministry for God and help for his fellow man that he had not taken thought for himself. Soon a most profitable life came to an end on this earth but God had an eternal life to offer this man. At your age you can choose, with the power of Jesus, to set the sail of your life toward a life of real fulfillment where there will be no regrets. Daily ask Christ to share His motives, impulses, inclinations and purposes in your life.
    • 20 It’s No Use Trying H AVE you ever tried to accomplish some goal and had to give up in recognition that it is beyond your ability to achieve? This can lead to frustration and discouragement. But much more emotionally draining is to earnestly seek victory over besetting sin in your life and yet find you are failing. It sometimes causes us to wonder if the gospel is truly “the power of God unto salvation” (Romans 1:16). God has never planned that we fight these battles alone. Our sinful natures make it impossible for us to face Satan’s temptations and gain victory. He is far more powerful than we and will always win such a battle. Of our own selves we can do nothing to gain victory over temptation. But we have been provided by God the power and strength of Jesus. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. John 15:5 Jesus explained to His disciples that all things are possible through God when He answered the disciples’ question of who could be saved. But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible. Matthew 19:26 Many years ago when I was teaching in a Christian College in Australia, I remember a young man who came to tell me he was leaving the college. He had determined that while salvation was possible for some it did not work for him. He planned to return home and live a worldly life fully expecting to be lost from the Kingdom of heaven. Nothing I could say could change his mind. No assurance from God’s Word would influence him. I have often wondered where that young man is now. I pray that eventually he did reach out for the Savior who died for his salvation. All failure to resist Satan is the result of failed human effort. Paul explains the problem and the solution in great detail in Romans chapters 7 and 8. Why not read those two chapters? Here are some clues to your understanding. 63
    • 64 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE 1. The victorious Christian has peace; this man has emotional turmoil and conflict. Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Isaiah 26:3 For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: but I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. Romans 7:22, 23 2. In spite of his earnest sincerity this man is in an unsaved condition. For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. Romans 7:14 For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Romans 8:6 3. This man is the classical legalist. He is trying with all his might to merit heaven by his human effort alone and therefore consistently fails. For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. Romans 7:15 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Romans 7:18, 19 4. Unlike the converted man in whom Christ lives, this man is controlled by sin. Contrast these two texts. I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20 Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. Romans 7:17 5. Finally he comes to the realization that all his best efforts fail to give him victory over his besetting sins. O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? Romans 7:24
    • It’s No Use Trying 65 This is a crossroads to which many professing Christians come. When realization led not only to the recognition of the failure of our human efforts but to the recognition that in the future we cannot expect success, we face a number of alternatives. a. Do what the young man did and give up the struggle and live the life of a worldling. b. Conclude that God does not provide the divine power to obtain victory and therefore we will be saved in spite of our continued violation of God’s commandments. c. Do what this man in Romans chapter 7 did, seek for the divine solution. How wonderful it is to be released from the bondage of legalism, realizing that there is no basis or merit in our lives that leads to salvation. Salvation comes only through Christ. Note the answer that he discovers which brings fulfillment to his life. I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 7:25 Paul explains there are two laws at work battling for supremacy in our lives—the law of sin and of death on the one hand and the law of the spirit of life in Christ Jesus on the other. The law of sin and of death is the governing law of our life if we have not completely surrendered our lives to Jesus. It matters not how genuine we are, how sincere we are or how earnest we are. Neither does it matter how desirous we are to live a daily life of victory; we will remain under the tyranny of the law of sin and of death until we recognize that only complete daily surrender of our will to Jesus can free us from this bondage. The second law, the spirit of life in Christ Jesus is the law that breaks the shackles of the law of sin and of death. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:2 Now how do we receive the law of the spirit of life in Christ Jesus? It happens only as we in sincere prayer first thing each morning give Christ permission to be wholly in control of our life. You must make that decision daily even before you study God’s Word, before you shave, before you eat. Paul put it this way, I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily. 1 Corinthians 15:31
    • 66 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE Here Paul declares he dies daily. Daily to what? to self, and pride, to human ambition, to carnal desires and all other egocentric goals. This was a lesson that came particularly hard to me. As a teenager I fought the unsuccessful battle between wanting to say “yes” to Christ yet not having said “no” to the things of this world. I’m sure many of you battle this conflict. Thus I resisted a decision to be baptized. It was while a freshman in college that things changed. I was listening half-heartedly to a sermon when the pastor woke me up with a jolt with these words: “Young people, you don’t have to be good for the rest of your lives.” This was startling to me because I had long recognized that it was impossible for me to be good for the rest of my life. After a short pause the pastor continued, “You surrender one day at a time.” What a difference that made to my understanding of salvation. We need not worry about the future. Every day, one day at a time make your surrender to Jesus for it was He who said, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Matthew 6:25 If we are not to worry about our future physical needs surely we do not need to worry about our future spiritual needs. I will never forget Khoo Soo Tkye. He was a wealthy business man in Malaysia. My twin brother, Russell, a physician had treated him in the hospital where he recovered well from a serious illness. He agreed to study the Bible with my brother and eventually seemed ready to accept the saving grace of Christ. But though Christ had given him victory over alcohol, tobacco and immorality there proved to be one sin he felt he could not part with. My brother then worked with him by asking if he believed God could give him victory for one day. He thought so. After earnest prayer of surrender my brother left but returned every day until one day he said, “Dr. Standish you don’t need to continue to come, Christ has given me complete victory.” What power there is in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Does this mean that there is no human effort you need to exert? No! James makes that very plain, Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7 But remember that our efforts, without whole-hearted surrender to Christ, are meaningless. But God has given a measure of faith to each of us and
    • It’s No Use Trying 67 He expects us to use it. When we are surrendered to Christ His infinite faith takes hold of our feeble faith and provides for us victory. What happens when Christ becomes the center of our lives? This dispels the guilt and condemnation and we now walk in ways of Jesus. There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. . . . That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Romans 8:1, 4 You now have a choice. Make Christ the daily leader of your life or allow Satan to enslave you. The contrasts are clear and the consequences certain of that decision. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God. But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his. And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. Romans 8:6–10 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these, Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. Galatians 5:19–24 How I pray that you will today and every day make the choice for Jesus for I look forward to meeting you in the Kingdom of Christ.
    • 21 If Only I Had Known This When I Was Young T HE woman was probably in her late sixties. Because of physical problems she had come to the Hartland Wellness Center to participate in the lifestyle change program. She was thrilled with the progress she made while there and with the new concept of living which she had learned. Toward the end she made the comment, “If only I had known this when I was young.” She had been taught the eight natural remedies God has given for our health, for the prevention of disease, and for our spiritual benefit. I want to share them with you because you are young, and you can develop a way of life that not only will strengthen your body and mind but also prepare you for the ministry to which God has called you. It is easy when we are young to say that it is too far away to consider old age. I confess the hope that even before you are middle-aged the Lord will have returned and I believe that can be a reality. But remember, these principles are not only for our physical health, they are for our emotional and spiritual health as well. Certainly we need that right now. The eight natural remedies are simple: good nutrition, adequate exercise, pure water, sunshine, temperance, fresh air, rest and trust in divine power. Are you benefitting from all these now? I cannot give you in detail all the information on these areas, but certainly you can write to Hartland Institute, at the address contained in this book, and obtain much more information. Let me very briefly define for you what is meant. Good nutrition is essential for our present and future health. Generally, the simpler and less refined and processed the food the better. Natural grains and vegetables are high in fiber, of prime importance for good digestive processes. Refined fats, oils, flours and sugars are generally are harmful to the body. A diet high in unrefined carbohydrates (fruits and vegetables) and low in protein and fat is the most healthful diet. There are those today who recognize that a true vegetarian diet (often called a vegan diet) is indeed the very best diet. The simple diet that God gave to man in his early history, built on grains, nuts, fruits, and veg68
    • If Only I Had Known This When I Was Young 69 etables, is still the best diet. The more simply prepared the better. Be very suspicious of processed food and read labels well. I realize it will take time to get used to a simple diet like this, but Hartland Institute and many other sources have excellent cookbooks that can help you. You will be surprised how attractive such a diet can be. You probably exercise fairly frequently, but there are God-given rules even here. Competitive exercise is not the best kind because it usually involves strain and tension, rather than the simple benefits of non-competitive exercise. Too often, especially in contact sports, physical damage can happen, with lifelong implications. The best kind of exercise will be of a permanent pattern that involves noncompetitive activities, such as walking, jogging, lap swimming and hiking. It might seem that pure water is a difficult commodity to find. Of course if you live in the country it is much easier to have good, pure well or spring water. But in the city you may not have much control over the chemicals that are in the water you drink. There is no denying that these chemicals can make an impact upon you. In an extreme case, a young woman had homicidal tendencies as a result of the chemicals contained in the water she drank. Every effort was made to find the reason, for otherwise she seemed a very normal young woman. Eventually it was traced to the water she was drinking. When she drank the water from the area in which she lived she showed homicidal tendencies; when she drank other water instead there were no problems. There are ways of purifying water that can help immensely, especially the use of charcoal purifiers. Keep in mind that water is indeed the best beverage, even better than fruit juices, which tend to concentrate calories and nutrients. Generally speaking, it is far better to eat grapes, oranges, and apples in their natural state than to concentrate them into juice. That does not mean that a little juice now and again would be unhealthful, but the best recommendation is that water should form the major basis of our liquid intake. We should drink at least six to eight glasses a day, and of course, between meals rather than during meals. In winter we tend to drink less so special effort has to be made in these months to be assured of adequate water intake. If you are out in the open air on the average of an hour a day you probably will receive all the sunshine you need. In this way exercise can be combined with the necessary sunshine. Vitamin D from sunshine is essential to health. Better than recreational exercising, it is hard to beat work exercise, as in gardening or other manual pursuits in the open air. For many years the word temperance has been used and often is associated with alcohol, but it goes much beyond the nonuse of alcohol or other drugs. It includes moderation in everything we do and avoidance
    • 70 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE of all that is harmful. Temperance is also a key to moral purity, for intemperance stimulates un-Christlike passions. Fresh air is becoming an increasingly difficult commodity to find. Especially if you live in a sizable city, or its suburbs, you will be forced to inhale many pollutants. Of course, over the long haul these will have deleterious effects upon your body. It is advantageous to live in a rural area where these pollutants are kept at a minimum. Indeed, the country also provides better opportunities for exercise and sunshine. I grew up in the largest industrial city in Australia and constantly saw the thick pall of gray-black smoke enveloping the city. I though little about it because it was just a common part of life, but the effects were still there. I am grateful to be living in a beautiful rural location now. It is not uncommon for young people to be restless and to disregard the proper habits of rest. As in eating, our rest should be regular. Nothing can substitute for the “early to bed, early to rise” philosophy. There are many who say they are night people and cannot function well early in the morning. To change such a habit is a matter of practice and perseverance. Often it takes only two weeks to reverse the situation. It is true that your body may be patterned to function at night, but if you persevere you will be able eventually to reverse these bad habits. Young people need a minimum of seven to eight hours of sleep per night, and nothing should interrupt it. All-night activities or activities that go until the early hours of the morning are very harmful. While young we may feel that we can handle the situation, but indeed it will take a toll in later life. The most important of all the eight natural remedies is trust in divine power. Each day we need our own private devotions with the Lord, morning and evening. We start with the Lord and end with the Lord. This practice will really strengthen our resolve to follow the Lord and to witness for Him. Also it will preserve us from much temptation. Remember what David said: Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. Psalm 119:11 But true trust in God includes the total surrender of the will to Jesus daily. This will allow the Lord to purify our hearts of all selfishness, pride, covetousness, ungodly ambitions, unholy passions, defensiveness, greed, rivalry, bitterness, impatience, judgmentalism, murmuring, hatred, deceitfulness, contention, vanity and all un-Christlike characteristics. If we follow these counsels, the Lord will richly bless and guide us. You will be strengthened now and in the future to continue the work that God has given to you. And, indeed, your body will be the living temple of God. (1 Corinthians 3:16–17).
    • 22 You Are a Prince Among Princes W E have explored many areas together for I have a burning desire to see the work of God finished and the kingdom of righteousness established. I need to be frank. Many times I have let the Lord down. If I had been the kind of person the Lord called me to be, perhaps He could have used me more effectively along with others of my generation, to finish the gospel work which Jesus promised will take place. And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come. Matthew 24:14 And I saw another angel fly in the midst of heaven, having the everlasting gospel to preach unto them that dwell on the earth, and to every nation, and kindred, and tongue, and people. Revelation 14:6 My generation failed to complete that goal. How many more generations will also fail? Could it not be that through your commitment to the Lord you can spark a light in the lives of others and begin a fire leading thousands of young people around the world to take up the challenge to finish the work of God? It will take an extraordinary group of young people, a dedicated army, that will fight with courage and vigor the warfare against Satan. Who will stand pure before God in His strength, in the strength of His Son, and in the power of His Holy Spirit? You, who with clearness of vision and resolve, if you will put every other self-interest aside will meet the challenge of the age. You will not cringe in the face of persecution. I know God will have such a generation of youth. You can be part of it. He has promised. Allow Jesus the opportunity to work mightily in your life. Perhaps never has there been as great an opportunity to shine so brightly for Christ. The world is in a chaotic state. Sin abounds in unbelievable magnitude. Men and women are in despair. Crises rise throughout all the world. What a time to be a young man or woman! 71
    • 72 72 YOUTH, DO YOU DARE It is certain that the last gospel work will include medical missionary work. Jesus was a medical missionary worker. And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all manner of sickness and all manner of disease among the people. Matthew 4:23 God wants this medical missionary work to entail an intelligent use of God’s eight natural health laws. I have seen how effectively young people, educated here at Hartland College, have been able to minister through these laws. These young people learn the in-depth principles God has given. The principles of nutrition, exercise, pure water, sunshine, temperance, fresh air, rest, and trust in divine power. I have seen it bring souls to Christ here in North America but also in the Caribbean, in South America, Asia, Europe, Africa and Australia. Not only have I seen our students using these methods effectively, but I have seen the wonderful transformations in the lives of diseased patients in our wellness center as a result of God’s remedies. I have further seen the hearts of men and women open, as God said they would, to the deeper challenges of commitment to Him. When people recognize that you have the answer to their physical needs, they are more open to the answer for their spiritual needs. The present is not a time for self-gratification, nor a time for indifference. It is a time to rally all the energy you have; to use every power of your body and mind in the wonderful, glorious proclamation of the coming of the Lord. I can think of no higher challenge, no more thrilling experience, than to accept the call of God. Won’t you, like the prophet Isaiah, answer God’s question: Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? with the answer Then said I, Here am I; send me. By God’s grace I want to see you in the heavenly kingdom. Isaiah 6:8
    • Scriptural Index Genesis 2:24 50 Leviticus 18:22 58 20:13 58 Deuteronomy 22:5 62 Psalms 103:12 36 119:11 15, 83 139:14, 15 46 Proverbs 6:17 45 14:12 34, 69 28:13 36 Isaiah 6:8 86 26:3 76 49:1 46 59:2 59 Jeremiah 1:5 46 6:16 31 Matthew 4:23 86 5:28 55 6:25 78 19:26 42, 58, 75 24:14 85 Luke 1:15 45 1:41 46 John 8:11 41 15:5 75 Romans 1:16 75 1:27 58 1:31,32 58 Chaps. 7, 8 75 7:14 76 7:15 76 7:17 76 7:18, 19 76 7:22, 23 76 7:24 76 7:25 77 8:1, 4 79 8:2 77 8:6–10 79 8:6 76 1 Corinthians 3:16,17 65, 84 6:9 58 10:31 61 15:31 77 2 Corinthians 6:14 22 Galatians 2:20 76 5:19–21 50, 70 5:19–24 79 5:21 36 Philippians 2:5 15, 66 Colossians 3:5, 6 37 1 Timothy 1:10 58 2:9, 10 61 73 Hebrews 4:15 7:25 13:5 James 4:7 47 36 59 42, 78 1 Peter 3:3, 4 61 Jude 1:24 Revelation 14:4 14:6 71 36 85
    • General Index depression : 53, 54 desensitize to sin : 58 designers immoral : 62 diet, most healthful : 81 differing values during courtship : 21, 22 distinction between male and female dress : 63 divorce in middle life : 50 dress gives signals : 44 judged by : 63 private issue : 61 simplicity of : 61 to God’s best dress standards : 62 to do with Christian life : 61 drugs : 65, 66, 83 duodenal ulcers : 66 A abortions : 45 permissive, a crime : 46 actions give signals : 44 adulterers : 49 agreement on life goals : 35 AIDS : 59 alcohol : 65, 66, 78, 82 affects brain areas for decisions : 66 apathy : 54 assaults, violent : 62 B barriers against marital breakdown : 36 brain damage : 66 broken home : 20, 49 E eight natural remedies : 81 embarrassed, being : 18 emotions: emptiness, regret, uncertainty, embarrassment : 74 emphysema : 66 entertainment : 16 television : 21, 70, 22, 50 magazines, radio : 50 exclusion of all others : 30 exercise : 54, 82, 83 best kind : 82 competitive : 82 non-competitive : 82 extramarital sexual experience : 50 C caffeine : 66 Caleb : 12 call of God : 33 into the gospel ministry : 33 callings compatible : 34 camp meeting : 36 champion workers for God: 17 chaperonage : 25 chastity remained : 36, 37 highly prized : 44 chemicals in water : 82 coffee : 66 cola : 66 computer online services : 70 counterfeit, Satan’s : 50 F fads of fashion : 63 family size : 35 finish the work of God : 12 first appointment as teacher : 73 first impression, two to five seconds : 63 fornication : 37, 46, 49, 62 freedom brings responsibility : 73 fulfillment, joy, peace, : 74 D date around : 29 often : 30 debt, major crippling : 35 decision making : 66, 73 second great : 33 wise and right : 74 74
    • General Index G gay activists movement : 57 girlie magazines : 22 goals: altogether different : 34 lofty : 35 God’s ways are liberty : 59 gonorrhea : 67 H habits develop and strengthen : 65 heart attacks : 66 heart disease : 66 herpes : 67 High Priest, faithful : 47 HIV virus : 59 Holy Spirit : 46 temple of : 43 homicidal tendencies : 82 homosexuality : 57, 62 is sin.: 58 is your behavior : 59 is your identity : 59 ten percent : 57 tendencies, reversal of : 57 Horrobin, Dr. David : 54 I incest : 47 insanity : 54 insecure : 20, 29, 67 irritability, extreme : 54 J jewelry : 62 John the Baptist : 46 Joshua : 12 K Khoo Soo Tkye : 78 L lead out in worship : 22 legalism : 77 classical : 76 lesbianism : 57, 62 lifestyle change program : 81 liver damage : 66 love built upon principle : 34 lung cancer : 66 M marijuana : 65 marriage: early : 19 move slowly toward : 20 ninth time : 19 later : 53 preparation for : 25, 29 readiness for (list of factors) : 34 vow : 49 Mary Magdalene : 41 masturbation : 53-55 mental breakdown : 53 mirror, looked recently : 63 modesty : 61 monogamous : 50 More haste, less speed : 20 O offer, generous : 31 order in our great choices : 33 oysters : 54 P panel of young people : 17 popularity of girls : 30 pornography, magazines, movies : 70 premarital chastity : 36 premarital sex : 37, 67 pressure : 43, 44, 53 for marriage : 23 from peers : 36, 63 to immorality.: 30 do not put : 45 to abort : 47 prey upon children and youth : 70 principles, high : 44 promiscuousness : 53 protect, not seduce : 44 psychology department : 45 pure generation : 37 purifying water : 82 purity, sacred circle of : 44 75
    • 76 General Index R rape : 47, 62 respect women : 62 responsibility : 73 restrictions, unreasonable, unwarranted : 25 right to determine who should live or die : 47 S schizophrenia : 54 Scripture, quoting of : 65 seduce, seduction : 43–44 self-centeredness : 53 self-image : 29, 42 selfish desires. ambitions eliminated : 74 sex drive : 67 sex-driven society, today’s : 70 sexual diseases : 50 share the great Bible gospel : 34 signals, giving to young men : 63 sinful thoughts : 54 skills, practical : 35 Sodom and Gomorrah : 70 spiritual (man not) : 23 stomach ulcers : 66 straight talk : 36 stress : 66 suicide : 11 surrender one day at a time : 78 swimmer, champion : 17 syphilis : 67 T tea : 66 temperance : 82 to the altar pure : 37 tobacco : 66, 78 addictive as heroin : 66 cigarette smoking : 58 triangle, eternal : 50 U uncertain : 29 uncontrollable anguish and guilt : 45 unisex : 62 V vegan diet : 81 vegetarian diet, true : 81 virgins : 37 W water, six to eight glasses : 82 Week of Spiritual Emphasis : 19, 20, 29, 41 withdrawal symptoms : 16 witnessing program : 18 witnessing, joy of : 18 women stimulate men : 44 women’s-liberation movement, : 62 women’s-rights movement swept : 62 worthlessness : 30, 42 Y yoked unequally, same church? : 22 youth rally : 25 Z zinc : 53 deficiency : 54
    • About the Author COLIN D. STANDISH was born in Newcastle, Australia, in 1933, a twin in a family of four children. He attended college and completed his Bachelor of Arts in psychology, with honors, at the University of Sydney. Colin completed his Master of Arts and Doctor of Philosophy, both in psychology, and then a second Master’s in education. Dr. Standish is currently president and pioneer of Hartland Institute in Rapidan, Virginia. Previously, he taught in the psychology department of the University of Sydney, and chaired the education department, Avondale College, Australia. He served as academic dean and president of West Indies College, Jamaica, and also as chairman of the psychology department, academic dean, and president of Columbia Union College, Maryland. He also served as dean of Weimar College, California. He is the author of numerous books on christian living. He enjoys music, nature, and spending time with his wife, Cheryl, and two children, Nigel and Alexandra. He has an enormous burden to help young people succeed mentally, spiritually and physically. 77
    • Notes Regarding This Electronic Book Pagination: this electronic book was not scanned from the printed book. In some cases, there may be slight variations in pagination from the printed copy. Thus, any references to page numbers in this book should be referenced to the printed edition. Sharing copies: Due to the nature of electronic books, they can be easily shared with others. However, we request that you honor the fact that this book (including the electronic copy) is copyrighted, and therefore it is not to be copied to distribute to others unless written permission is obtained from the publisher. Current Publications Available In some of our electronic books, you may find a list of other books that are published by Hartland Publications. This list was compiled at the time the book was published; therefore, it may be out of date by the time you read it. To browse the current books available by Colin and Russell Standish and many other authors, please go to: http://www.hartlandpublications.com Thank you!