The Psychology of Success Under Stress Sharon M. Melnick, Ph.D. April 30, 2009

What is Stress? Layoffs Rentals Down Negative Media Worries about my future Colleagues and boss ‘on edge’ Overwhelmed Exhausted Sick Family Tensions Stress Level

What determines your response to stress? Your perceived ability to handle the stress

Your perceived ability to handle the stress

Perceived ability to handle the stress COMMAND: Control your thoughts CONFIDENCE: Believe in / rely on yourself CALM: Control your nervous system

COMMAND: Control your thoughts

CONFIDENCE: Believe in / rely on yourself

CALM: Control your nervous system

I don’t get caught up in other’s stress I am ‘chill’ I will ‘land on my feet’ no matter what I, not others, control my destiny I control my thoughts I focus

Control Amplifiers Command Confident Self-talk Confidence Fastest way to confidence Calm Balance your nervous system Maximize your body’s intelligence

Command

Confident Self-talk

Confidence

Fastest way to confidence

Calm

Balance your nervous system

Maximize your body’s intelligence

Confident Self-Talk How many thoughts does a human being have a day?

How many thoughts does a human being have a day?

Confident Self-Talk How many thoughts does a human being have a day? 60,000

How many thoughts does a human being have a day?

60,000

Confident Self-Talk How many thoughts does a human being have a day? 60,000 ______ x 7 = number of thoughts left on the table each week

How many thoughts does a human being have a day?

60,000

______ x 7 = number of thoughts left on the table each week

Confident Self-Talk Conscious Mind = Captain Subconscious Mind = Crewmembers Every thought is a “Captain’s Order”

Conscious Mind = Captain

Subconscious Mind = Crewmembers

Every thought is a “Captain’s Order”

Confident Self-Talk My Horizon Point is…

My Horizon Point is…

Confident Self-Talk My Horizon Point is… Your future creates your present

My Horizon Point is…

Your future creates your present

Confident Self-Talk Captain’s Orders Guidelines: “I” statements

Captain’s Orders Guidelines:

“I” statements

Confident Self-Talk Captain’s Orders Guidelines: “I” Statements Constructive Not empty calorie thoughts

Captain’s Orders Guidelines:

“I” Statements

Constructive

Not empty calorie thoughts

Confident Self-Talk Captain’s Orders Guidelines: “I” Statements Constructive Not empty calorie thoughts “What” and “How” questions

Captain’s Orders Guidelines:

“I” Statements

Constructive

Not empty calorie thoughts

“What” and “How” questions

Confident Self-Talk Captain’s Orders Guidelines: “ I” Statements Constructive Not empty calorie thoughts “ What” and “How” questions Motivating Tone Be the DJ of your own mental iPod

Captain’s Orders Guidelines:

“ I” Statements

Constructive

Not empty calorie thoughts

“ What” and “How” questions

Motivating Tone

Be the DJ of your own mental iPod

Confident Self-Talk Create “Flow States” with Captain’s Orders

Create “Flow States” with Captain’s Orders

Confidence THE FASTEST WAY TO BUILD CONFIDENCE The way you are trying to build confidence may be interfering with building confidence

THE FASTEST WAY TO BUILD CONFIDENCE

The way you are trying to build confidence may be interfering with building confidence

Other People Current confidence / Self Doubt Desired Confidence, Security, Effectiveness

Other People I act towards others How I hope others will act towards me Confident, Secure, Effective Current confidence / Self Doubt

Other People I act so others will think well of me How I hope others will act towards me Confident, Secure, Effective Current confidence / Self Doubt

Other People I act so others will think well of me How I hope others will act towards me Confident, Secure, Effective INDIRECT PATHWAY: Type 1: Act towards others in order to get them to act towards me so that I feel valued and ‘enough’. I ‘borrow’ confidence from the way I get other people to think about me. Current confidence / Self Doubt

Other People Confident, Secure, Effective

Other People I avoid, procrastinate, and hold myself back. How I hope to prevent other people from criticizing me. Confident, Secure, Effective

Other People I avoid, procrastinate, and hold myself back. How I hope to prevent other people from criticizing me. Confident, Secure, Effective INDIRECT PATHWAY: Type 2 : Act to prevent others from acting towards me in ways that would erode my confidence. Act to “hold on” to the confidence I have.

GO DIRECT! Confident, Secure, Effective DIRECT PATHWAY: I act directly to bring value and build confidence and fulfillment for the long term. Build Confidence Directly

Confidence GO DIRECT!

GO DIRECT!

Staying Calm Under Stress How do you respond to stress now? Your nervous system modulates your response to stress

How do you respond to stress now?

Your nervous system modulates your response to stress

Staying Calm Under Stress Two Parts of Your Nervous System Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS)

Two Parts of Your Nervous System

Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS)

Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS)

Staying Calm Under Stress Sympathetic Nervous System Rush of adrenaline – energy burst then lull Cortisol levels high Depresses immune system Aging Degrades memory Heart palpitations – inefficient High level of (over) focus

Sympathetic Nervous System

Rush of adrenaline – energy burst then lull

Cortisol levels high

Depresses immune system

Aging

Degrades memory

Heart palpitations – inefficient

High level of (over) focus

Staying Calm Under Stress Parasympathetic Nervous System Calms you Access intuition See the big picture “Calm discernment” (can put emotion aside) Sleep more restfully – melatonin levels healthy Strengthens idea formation, creativity, & objective thinking

Parasympathetic Nervous System

Calms you

Access intuition

See the big picture

“Calm discernment” (can put emotion aside)

Sleep more restfully – melatonin levels healthy

Strengthens idea formation, creativity, & objective thinking

Staying Calm Under Stress Re-wire your nervous system instead of using temporary stress relief Balancing the SNS and PNS: MIND FOLLOWS BREATH

Re-wire your nervous system instead of using temporary stress relief

Balancing the SNS and PNS:

MIND FOLLOWS BREATH

Staying Calm Under Stress Three-Part Breath: Equal parts INHALE - HOLD - EXHALE

Three-Part Breath:

Equal parts INHALE - HOLD - EXHALE

Staying Calm Under Stress Accessing the “Brain in Your Heart” to Stay Calm

Accessing the “Brain in Your Heart” to Stay Calm

The best way to predict the future is… to create it. - Peter Drucker

The best way to predict the future is…

to create it.

- Peter Drucker

The Psychology of Success Under Stress Sharon M. Melnick, Ph.D. Information for AIM participants: www.SharonMelnick.com/AIM