IS ATTRACTION THE BINDING SOURCE FOR LOVE AND ROMANCE?
FLIRTING Flirting is a social and sometimes sexual activity involving verbal or written communication as well as body language by one person to another, suggesting an interest in a deeper relationship with the other person.
ATTRACTION Attraction refers to positive feelings about another person. It can take many forms, including liking, love, friendship, lust, and admiration.
FRIENDSHIPFriendship is a relationship between two people who hold mutual affection for each other.
LOVE Love is an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment. Love refers specifically to the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love, to the emotional closeness of familial love, to the platonic love that defines friendship, or to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love.
ROMANCE Romance is the expressive and pleasurable feeling from an emotionalattraction towards another person associated with love.
MARRIAGE Marriage is a formal union between a man and a woman in which they become a husband and wife respectively.
The basic consensus to be test is, attraction being the binding force towards Love and Romance. The variables discussed are thus; attraction, love and romance. These variables will be discussed in accordance with some social continuums, such as: 1. Platonic Love 2. Marital Love 3. Romantic Love 4. Workplace Romance 5. Internet Romance
The attributes populating such emotionsin a person can be:1. Physical Appearance,2. Emotional Attachment or Similarity,3. Social Aspects,4. Marital Status,5. Sensuality,6. Religion,7. Hobbies,8. Physical Activities and so on and so forth. (M. Fishbein, 2004)
PLATONIC LOVE Defines Friendship Platonic love is an affectionate relationship that does not involves sexual intimacy. A simple example of platonic relationships is a deep, non-sexual friendship between two people of the opposite sexes.
We may think we’re capable of being ―just friends‖ with members of the opposite sex, but the opportunity (or perceived opportunity) for ―romance‖is often lurking just around the corner, waiting to pounce at the most inopportune moment.
Some people see friendship as something sacred and they do not like the idea of having a relationship with say, their very best friend of the opposite gender. They prefer platonic in the friendship and feel very betrayed when their friend fall in love with them and start to develop feelings. But there is nothing wrong in it. Love is beautiful. Love between friends fall something naturally and is not planned at all. It depends on the persons involved. If both have feelings for each other, they should not stop themselves. But if only one party loves the other, then it might jeopardize the friendship.
Crossing that line from friendship to romance can be both beautiful and extremely tricky. Many people may have a secret crush on their friend but resist for fear that the relationship will turn sour. What if you happen to lose the friendship altogether? On the other hand, what better basis for love than an intimate friendship?
According to a research study: Men are much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa. Men are also more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends were attracted to them—a clearly misguided belief. In fact, males assumed that any romantic attraction they experienced was mutual, but were blind to the actual level of romantic interest felt by their female friends. Women, too, were blind to the mindset of their opposite-sex friends; because females generally are not attracted to their male friends, and assumed that this lack of attraction was mutual.
Men and women have vastly different views of what it means to be ―just friends‖—and that thesediffering views have the potential to lead to trouble.Although women seem to be genuine in their belief that opposite-sex friendships are platonic, men seem unable to turn off their desire for somethingmore. And even though both genders agree overall that attraction between platonic friends is more negative than positive, males are less likely than females to hold this view.
So, can men and women be ―just friends?‖ If we all thought like women, almost certainly. But if we all thought like men, we’d probably be facing a serious overpopulation crisis.
MARITAL LOVE Marital love is an affectionate relationship between husband and wife.
Most people think that love and marriage have the same origin and imply the same motives as far as human needs are concerned. According to scholars, this is not the fact but just a notion and marriage is built over a period of time. Loving someone and being loved brings happiness but it does not necessarily mean that when a man and a woman are in love they will end up in marriage.
Marriage is the pillar on which romantic love is build. Accordingly, the love and friendship that exists between a woman and a man grows into a desire for marriage. Marriage thus acts as the foundation for the couple to grow into a union of soul and heart. In a marriage, children become the bond of the marriage and are its fruits. (Love, marriage and family).
On the other hand, scholars argue that love does not result from marriage. It is very rare to find a married couple falling in love after marriage but some argue that a couple has to adjust to fall in lovewhen already in a union to avoid the inventible fatal attraction.
Getting married is a huge change in itself. Its a big commitment saying that you want to spend your entire life with this person. Usually the young couple has no clue what that even means. A lifetime is a long, long time to be with anyone. A successful marriage is hard work. Too many people expect it to be all love and roses. That "honeymoon" period last a short time into the marriage, and then the couple relaxes into married love which is when the annoying habits that used to be cute start bothering you and you get tired of picking up his dirty socks which you used to consider a duty of love.
When you get married, you cant do everything the way you always did. You have to learn to give and take andcompromise. Your money isnt your own to spend as you choose any longer. You findyou have to work at keeping things excitingand new. Its a lot more work taking care oftwo instead of just one. You want to go to a movie, but he wants to go to the races -- with his friends!
When children come along, things change again. Its amazing how much that tiny little bundle changes your lifestyle. Sleep is at a premium, and tempers get short. Everything you do revolves around your baby. Some husbands get jealous of the time the baby takes their wives, time which they cant devote to them any longer. Finances may become more difficult. You never know what may happen. There are years when you actually have to work at doing things together without the kids. Its necessary to keep the marriage alive, and the marriage, not the children, is the nucleus to a functional family life.
But which love, do u think lasts forever, Is it the love before, marriage where both the couples hang out and know each other and then gets married or the love which comes after marriage.
ROMANTIC LOVE Weve all experienced love. Weve loved (and been loved by) parents, brothers, sisters, friends, even pets. But romantic love is different. Its an intense, new feeling unlike any of these other ways of loving.
The kind of love we feel in romantic relationships is its own unique type of love. Our ability to feel romantic love developsduring adolescence. Teens all over the worldnotice passionate feelings of attraction. Even in cultures where people are not allowed toact on or express these feelings, theyre still there. Its a natural part of growing up to develop romantic feelings and sexualattractions to others. These new feelings can be exciting — or even confusing at first.
Love is such a powerful human emotion thatexperts are constantly studying it. Theyvediscovered that love has three main qualities: 1. Attraction 2. Closeness 3. Commitment
These three qualities of love can be combined in differentways to make different kinds of relationships. Forexample: Closeness without attraction is the kind of love we feel for best friends. We share secrets and personal stuff with them, we support them, and they stand by us. But we are not romantically interested in them. Attraction without closeness is more like a crush or infatuation. Youre attracted to someone physically but dont know the person well enough yet to feel the closeness that comes from sharing personal experiences and feelings. Romantic love is when attraction and closeness are combined. Lots of relationships grow out of an initial attraction (a crush or "love at first sight") and develop into closeness. Its also possible for a friendship to move from closeness into attraction as two people realize their relationship is more than "just like" and they have become interested in one another in a romantic way.
When attraction, or romantic passion, comes into play, we often lose our ability to think rationally -- atleast when it comes to the object of our attraction. Theold saying "love is blind" is really accurate in this stage. We are often oblivious to any flaws our partner might have. We idealize them and cant get them off our minds. If this attraction remains strong and is felt by both of them, then this turns into attachment and commitment. Youve passed fantasy love and are entering into real love.
When people first experience falling in love, it often starts as attraction. Sexual feelings can also be a part of this attraction. People at this stage might daydream about a crush. It sure feels like love. But its not love yet. It hasnt had time to grow into emotional closeness thats needed for love. Because feelings of attraction and sexual interest are new, and theyre directed at a person we want a relationship with, its not surprising we confuse attraction with love. Its all so intense, exciting, and hard to sort out. The crazy intensity of the passion and attraction phase fades a bit after a while. If a relationship is destined to last, this is where closeness enters the picture. The early passionate intensity may fade, but a deep affectionate attachment takes its place.
Love is delicate. It needs to be cared for and nurtured if it is to last through time. Just like friendships, relationships can fail if they are not given enough time and attention. This is one reason why some couples might not last — perhaps someone is so busy with work that he or she has less time for a relationship.
For some teens, a couple may grow apart because the things that are important to them change as theymature. Or maybe each person wantsdifferent things out of the relationship. Sometimes both people realize the relationship has reached its end;sometimes one person feels this way when the other does not.
Many relationships dont last, though. We typically have shorter relationships asteens because adolescence is a time when we instinctively seek lots of differentexperiences and try out different things. Itsall part of discovering who we are, what we value, and what we want out of life. Another reason we tend to have shorter relationships in our teens is because the things we want to get out of a romanticrelationship change as we get a little older.
When a relationship ends, people really need support. Losing a first love isnt something weve been emotionally prepared to cope with. It can help to have close friends and family members to lean on. Romance provides us with a chance to discover our own selves as we share with someone new. We learn the things we love about ourselves, the things wed like to change, and the qualities and values we look for in a partner. Loving relationships teach us self-respect as well as respect for others. Love is one of the most fulfilling things we can have in our lives.
If romance hasnt found you yet,dont worry — theres plenty of time. And the right person is worth the wait.
WORKPLACE ROMANCE Workplace romance exists when two members of the same organization develop a relationship with mutual attraction.
When in a workplace people grow bonds with their co-workers that go beyond just friendly lunch meetings. They grow in-depth relationships that deepen into romance. A place where people share a common interest, and spend most of their time, provides the perfect opportunity for love.
Your productivity or the productivity of those around you may suffer. If your office romance results in preferential treatment with regard to work assignments, raises, promotions or company perks your co-workers will resent you. Envious co-workers may attempt to sabotage your work. Your coworkers’ perceptions of your work performance may be lowered. You could be accused of creating, or contributing to a hostile workplace environment.
Becoming romantically involved with someone at work could even cost you your job. You could become the subject of office gossip. A workplace romance with a superior will cause workmates to assume you’re getting preferential treatment, even if that is not the case. No matter how competent you are, some of your workmates will always attribute your job advancement to your workplace romance.
Businesses and companies are still confused at whether or not they should interfere in the romantic relationship. If they do choose tointerfere, what department should be in control of handling the situation and what policies should be set if workplace romances do happen.
INTERNET ROMANCE Internet romance includes intimate relationships, between people who have met online, and in many cases know each other only via the Internet.
Internet is another medium which can result in the development of attraction between people. People use internet for socialization and can easily develop romantic affiliations as they share their views and experiences through the medium. People connect each other through emails, chatting and social platforms bonding with theirpeople of interest and the reality of experience can result in different levels of attachments and attractions towards others. Individuals who spend more time online are more likely to have higher rates of emotional loneliness. HighInternet use associates with high emotional loneliness, andmay therefore contribute to emotional difficulty. The stability of the Internet relationships compares quite favorably tothat of relationships that form and last only in the traditionalface-to-face world. We have to alter our use of these novel communication tools, or we may have to learn to develop them in ways that are more beneficial to our psychological health.
We are living in the age of technology. People are usingcomputers and the Internet for nearlyevery aspect of their lives - to manage finances, to search for jobs, to go shopping, and even to findromance. Internet dating is becoming an increasingly popular method of meeting romantic partners, but thereare certainly many things to be aware of when taking this route to love.
Many Internet users feel that there is less pressure when meeting potential dates through the Internet than there is when face-to-face, since they are being judged solely on personality, rather than appearance. It is also easier for a shy person to interact over the Internet because he/she can select the desired level of anonymity. These same factors that make it seem easier also make it more dangerous. Since every person is free to hide secrets about himself/herself, or even distort the truth, many will never know if they are truly learning all of the important details about the other person. Online, anyone can lie about their appearance or other traits.
With these missing details, many begin to care for what is essentially an imaginary person. Many people who are looking for Internet romance tend to assume a complete familiarity with their "partner", but may not know important information. It is easy to get swept into a fantasy world, because everyone wants so badly to be part of a happy couple, so many people fill in the gaps with theirimagination. This can present a great disappointment when the couple finally meets each other. Another side-effect of the ease and anonymity of online communication is that individuals may reveal a lot of personal information that they would not disclose in a real- life situation. If you decide to participate in online dating, please be careful not to become too personal until you learn a lot about the other person, because you could be taken advantage of.
There have been many success stories, but it is always important to be very cautious. You may have found some realcompatibility but before you get too far youshould try to fill in some of the mystery with 3-D reality. Exchange pictures, talk on the phone and figure out a way to meet in person. But, be sure to meet in a safe, public place, and be careful about theamount of personal information you divulge.
CONCLUSION All being said, the concept of love and romance iscompletely dependent on the level of attraction in everysocial aspect, either on the levels of interaction throughinternet, work place, institutions or any other form. The result of people falling in love or development of romantic feelings is merely based upon on the level ofattractiveness observed by people on their own desires and discretion. Evidently, it can be expressed that attraction is actually the binding source for love and romance.
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