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How to handle conflict in church?

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  • The interaction between these different preferences leads to four conflict pair types. In conflict situations these pairs may look like:
  • Dugan,1996
  • Lederach,1995
  • Transcript

    • 1. HOW TO HANDLE CONFLICT IN CHURCH
    • 2. Major portion of this presentation are from: U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace Building in Rwanda Authors: Babu Ayindo and Janice Jenner from the Center for Justice and Peace building Core Negotiation Skills: One Day Primer from Velsoft Training Future Leadership, Old Issues, New Method by Douglas Johnson II Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center Beauty of Christ through brokenness by KP Yohannan Blessed are the Peacemakers by Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander Contrarian Book, Renegade Pastors churchleaderinsights.com Collated by Rimalyn Siriban No copyright infringement intended. For ministry purposes only.
    • 3. COURSE OBJECTIVE: FIRST PART 1. Definition of Conflict 2. Functions of Conflict 3. Causes or Sources of Conflict 4. Avoiding Deep Chaos 5. Management of Deep Chaos 6. Power
    • 4. COURSE OBJECTIVE: SECOND PART 8. Conflict Mapping 9. Conflict Analysis 10. Personality Profile 11. Roles Played in Conflict
    • 5. COURSE OBJECTIVE: THIRD PART 12. Communication Tools 13. Terms and Conditions in Conflict Resolution 14. Thinking gray and free FOURTH PART 14. Basic Outcomes of Conflict 15. Ministry Positioning Statement
    • 6. Conflict is a natural and necessary part of our lives. The paradox of conflict is that it is both the force that can tear relationships apart and the force that binds them together. This dual nature of conflict makes it an important concept to study and understand. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda DEFINITION OF CONFLICT
    • 7. DEFINITION OF CONFLICT “Conflict” usually refers to a hostile encounter, a collision of divergent ideas, interests, or persons. Synonyms include “disagreement”, “clash”, “divergence”, “ar gument”, “quarrel”, “discord”. Conflict is the collision of differing desires. Blessed are the Peacemakers by Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander
    • 8. When the rams are following their shepherd and looking to him, their woollies rub each other companionably; but when they look at one another they see only each other’s horns. - Z.A. Salik, Living Quotations for Christians
    • 9. DEFINITION OF CONFLICT Conflict is a difference in opinion or purpose that frustrates someone’s goals or desires - Attorney Ken Sande Conflict begins when people disagree, often sharply. It emerges when people want their own way and believe it is the right way. Blessed are the Peacemakers by Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander
    • 10. DEFINITION OF CONFLICT People hold competing loyalties, fight over limited resources and want power to bring about change. That could start good and end up bad. People creates problems, and problems have process, a history. Blessed are the Peacemakers by Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander
    • 11. Conflict is an inevitable and necessary feature in every organization. The challenge facing leaders is not elimination of conflict, but rather, how to effectively address conflict when it arises. In an organization in conflict, leadership should organize a body or a panel are called on to serve as a mediator. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda DEFINITION OF CONFLICT
    • 12.  Conflict Resolution require particular skills and techniques to tackle the issues in a constructive fashion.  Conflict can be managed negatively through avoidance at one extreme and the use of threat of force at the other.  Conflict can be managed positively through negotiation, joint problem solving and consensus building. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 13. Some of our learned responses are constructive, but others can escalate conflict and raise the level of danger. How we choose to handle confrontation is largely based upon our past experience in dealing with conflict and our confidence in addressing it. One can start to change destructive responses to conflict by learning to assess the total impact of negative responses and acquiring confidence in using tools and techniques of professional peacemakers. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 14. Constructive conflict management is much a science as an art. It is based on a substantial body of theory, skills and techniques developed from decades of experience in international peacekeeping, peacemaking and peace building. Acquiring better understanding of the conceptual tools and skills professional managers use can help gain confidence in addressing conflict in a manner which resolves the issues and maintains or even strengthens relationships. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 15. Understanding conflict and seeking right solution require a biblical worldview, and that requires an understanding of the spiritual battle that is going on in the heaven lies, spiritual realm. Blessed are the Peace Makers, Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander
    • 16. FUNCTIONS OF CONFLICT We all know how destructive conflict can be. Conflict can have positive side, one that builds relationships; creates coalition; fosters communication; strengthen institutions; and creates new ideas, rules and law. Our understanding of how conflict can benefit us is an important part of the foundation of constructive conflict management. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 17. FUNCTIONS OF CONFLICT 1. Conflict helps establish our identity and independence. 2. Intensity of conflict demonstrates the closeness and importance of relationships. 3. Conflict can build new relationships. 4. Conflict can create coalitions. 5. Conflict serves as a safety-valve mechanism which helps to sustain relationships. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 18. FUNCTIONS OF CONFLICT 6. Conflict helps parties assess each other’s power and can work to redistribute power in a system. 7. Conflict can build new relationship. 8. Conflict establishes and maintains group identities. 9. Conflict enhance group cohesion through issue and belief clarification. 10. Conflict creates or modifies rules, norms, laws and institutions. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 19. 5 CAUSES OF DISPUTE AND CONFLICTS 1. DATA OR INFORMATION CONFLICT 2. RELATIONSHIP CONFLICT 3. VALUE CONFLICT 4. STRUCTURAL CONFLICT 5.INTEREST CONFLICT
    • 20. 1. DATA OR INFORMATION CONFLICT - involves lack of information and misinformation, as well as differing views on what data are relevant, the interpretation of that data and how the assessment is performed. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 21. 2. RELATIONSHIP CONFLICT - results from strong emotions, stereotypes, miscommunication and repetitive negative behavior. It is this type of conflict which often provides fuel for disputes and can promote destructive conflict even when the conditions to resolve the other sources of conflict can be met. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 22. 3. VALUE CONFLICT - arises over ideological differences or differing standards on evaluation of ideas or behaviors. The actual or perceived differences in values do not necessarily lead to conflict. It is only when values are imposed on groups, or groups are prevented from upholding their value system, that conflict arises. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 23. 4. STRUCTURAL CONFLICT - is caused by unequal or unfair distributions of power or resources. Time constraints, destructive patterns of interactions and non-conducive geographical or environmental factors contribute to structural conflict. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 24. 5. INTEREST CONFLICT - involves actual or perceived competition over interests, such as resources, the way a dispute is to be resolved, or perceptions of trust or fairness. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 25. An analysis of different types of conflict the parties are dealing with helps the intervener determine strategies for effective handling of disputes.
    • 26. 1. Internal Division – widening the gap between the needs and wants of people and the possibilities of satisfying them. Future Leadership, Old Issues, New Method by Douglas Johnson II
    • 27. 2. External Division – which is linked to the organization’s ability to adapt to its environment. Future Leadership, Old Issues, New Method by Douglas Johnson II
    • 28. All accepted methods of control loose their value in a state of Deep Chaos. Means such as education, training, and rewards do not work. New Directions are necessary. Studies reveal that only chaos can cope with chaos.Future Leadership, Old Issues, New Method by Douglas Johnson II
    • 29. We do know that a state of deep chaos is a transition that may lead to either transformation or disintegration of the system. The leader’s role is to prevent disintegration and to assist the organization in its transformation and renewal. Future Leadership, Old Issues, New Method by Douglas Johnson II
    • 30. Attempts to motivate people by preaching, pressure, rewards and punishments generally lead to failure. The problem is not one of applying pressure to change the existing state, but how to free the organization from the binds it itself has created. The models are filters through which organizations perceive reality and give meaning to incoming information. Future Leadership, Old Issues, New Method by Douglas Johnson II
    • 31. The work of brokenness is a beautiful thing. It causes our lives to become the sweet fragrance before God that was intended to be. But we can also delay the work of brokenness by not realizing that God is the One working behind the difficult scenes of our lives. Self-love always delays the process of brokenness. The Beauty of Christ through Brokenness KP Yohannan
    • 32. POWER Power is an inherent, often confusing part of any human interaction, including conflict. To successfully analyze and intervene in a conflict, the power dynamics in the situation must be understood. Some types of power are easy to see and comprehend; others are much more difficult. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 33. 1. POSITIONAL POWER Power is based upon the role, or position, an individual occupies in society. It is passed from one individual to another as he or she moves in or out of the role. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 34. 2. RELATIONAL POWER does not reside in a particular individual but is a property of social relationships. For example, when you listen to a friend speak and respect her opinion, you gave her power. When she listens to you and respects your opinion, you are given the power. In relationships, power is fluid and hard to measure. It can be expanded or limited as you interact. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 35. 3. POWER OF FORCE refers to physical strength and coercive mechanism (like guns) Individuals may use their own strength to impose their will upon others. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 36. 4. 44. POWER OF STATUS comes from wealth or social standing within a society. Individuals can use their money or their social and family ties to maintain a situation that is to their advantage or to get what they want. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 37. 5. POWER OF KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERTISE refers to the additional credit and influence given to those in a society with a special knowledge and expertise. Power comes from what they know. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 38. 5. POWER OF A GROUP comes from people acting together for a cause. The phrase “people-power” is often quoted. It refers to the individuals when part of a group. Labor unions and mass protest, movements have power because of their numbers. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 39. For those involved in conflict resolution efforts, there are 3 central concerns regarding roles of other actors. One is to ensure that the necessary roles to each type of activity (e.g. convener, envisioner, or facilitator) are being filled. The second is to ensure that the roles players work cooperatively to achieve common goals.
    • 40. CONFLICT ANALYSIS: CONFLICT MAPPING To begin to deal with the spiritual root of conflict, pray this simple prayer, Lord, open my eyes to false desires and selfish desires. Blessed are the Peacemakers by Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander
    • 41. TOOLS FOR CONFLICT ANALYSIS: CONFLICT MAPPING 1. Identify all stakeholders 2. Assess stakeholders’ relationships 3. Assess power dynamics 4. Identify and assess alliances U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 42. TOOLS FOR CONFLICT ANALYSIS: CONFLICT MAPPING 5. Identify and carefully evaluate some possible entry points for investigation and intervention 6. Assess intervener relationships with stakeholders -- 7.Assess your own position regarding issues and actors U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 43. CONFLICT RESOLUTION OR PEACE PROCESS 1. A conflict resolution / peace process is an opportunity for the education of the whole organization. 2. Conflict causes disequilibria (lack or loss of equilibrium; instability) within other realms of existence, hence the need for efforts of resolution. 3. In the process of responding to conflict, we must still respect humans by saving their face and avoid embarrassing and or shaming people. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 44. CONFLICT RESOLUTION OR PEACE PROCESS 4. The language of conflict resolution should encourage resolution by avoiding embarrassment and breaking barriers. 5. Face saving creates the space for self- examination and invites all the parties to listen to each other. 6. The process of resolving conflicts should be inclusive. The language was designed to accommodate different level of meaning so that everyone was included. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 45. CONFLICT ANALYSIS Conflict analysis is the process of looking critically at a particular conflict to understand the 1. Causes 2. Context 3. Participants 4. Stakeholders and others aspects of the conflict. Too often, people attempt to intervene in a conflict before understanding it, with less than positive results. A thorough conflict analysis provides a basis for determining interventions that will have increased possibilities of success. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 46. The following questions and dilemmas are ones that are useful in a conflict analysis process: 1. Who are the parties relevant to the conflict situation? 2. What are the positions of each party in the conflict? 3. What are the needs and interests of each party? [In other words, what are they saying without saying? what lies beyond the spoken word?] U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 47. The following questions and dilemmas are ones that are useful in a conflict analysis process: 4.What is the relative power, status, and resources of each part in the conflict? 5. What are the processes they are using to pursue their interest in conflict with each other? 6. Within what framework, structure or system is the conflict taking place? U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 48. The following questions and dilemmas are ones that are useful in a conflict analysis process: 7. How are the decisions being made and conflict resolved/ transformed in the situation? 8. What the external factors impact the conflict? 9. What outcome does each party expect? U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 49. The following questions and dilemmas are ones that are useful in a conflict analysis process: 10. What are the possible changes as the result of the resolution / transformation of the conflict at following levels: a. Personal b. Relational c. Structural / Systems d. Culture e. Spiritual U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 50. THOMAS-KILMANN MODEL 16 personality types respond to conflict according to their preferences.
    • 51. MEYERS BRIGGS TEMPERAMENT INDICATOR 1. How we gather Energy  Introvert or Extrovert 2. How we gather data  Sensor or INtuitive 3. How we make decisions  Thinker or Feeler 4. How we organize our lives  Judge or Perciever
    • 52. “If we could read the secret of history of our enemies, we should find in each person’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
    • 53. Through their thirty-plus years of working with the MBTI instrument, Damian Killen and Danica Murphy have developed a model for applying type to how people respond to conflict situations. Killen and Murphy believe that the dichotomy in which people have the greatest difficulty using their non-preferred function is Judging- Perceiving. Conflict caused by this tension is accentuated when coupled with a difference in the decision-making process (Thinking-Feeling). Tomstuart.org
    • 54. THOSE WITH A PREFERENCE FOR THINKING FOCUS MOST STRONGLY ON: 1. What the conflict is about 2. Opinions and principles 3. Analyzing and tolerating differences 4. Maintaining a firm stance
    • 55. THOSE WITH A PREFERENCE FOR FEELING FOCUS MOST STRONGLY ON: 1. Who is involved 2. Needs and values 3. Accepting and appreciating differences 4. Ensuring give and take
    • 56. THOSE WITH A PREFERENCE FOR JUDGING TEND TO: 1. Seek resolution 2. Focus on the past and future 3. Be concerned primarily with the outcome of the situation 4. Experience satisfaction once the conflict is over Tomstuart.org
    • 57. THOSE WITH A PREFERENCE FOR PERCEIVING TEND TO: 1.Seek clarification 2.Focus on the present 3.Be concerned primarily with the input of participants 4.Experience satisfaction once the conflict is being addressed Tomstuart.org
    • 58. TJ’s – decisive, planned, and organized; at times critical and blunt. TP’s – objective; searches for what is right; at times stubborn. FJ’s – warm; seeks harmony; at times wants to smother with kindness. FP’s – sensitive; attuned to people’s needs; at times worry for everyone. Tomstuart.org
    • 59. COLLABORATING COMPETING ACCOMODATINGCOMPROMISING AVOIDING Source: Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann (1974),Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument. Tuxedo, NY: Xicom Inc.
    • 60. COLLABORATING ESFJ ENFJ COMPETING ENTJ ESTJ Males ACCCOMODATING ESFJ ENFJ COMPROMISING ENTJ ESTJ Females ISTP INTP ESTP ENTP AVOIDING INTJ ISTJ ISFJ INFJ
    • 61. COMPETING: ENTJ ESTJ MALES behavior is based on a high attempt to satisfy one’s own interests and a low attempt to satisfy the other party’s interests. A person chooses to use power to win with his or her position. The downside of this style is that it intimidates others to the point where problems may go underground and develop into actions that escalate the conflict. Competing: Being assertive and pursuing your own concerns, sometimes at expense of others.
    • 62. COMPETING:ENTJ ESTJ MALES 1. Standing up for your rights or beliefs 2. Being assertive. 3. Pursuing your own beliefs, values and concerns. 4. At times, asserting your opinion at the expense of others. Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center
    • 63. COMPETING IS BEST USED WHEN: 1. The issue is vital to you, your family, or your organization, and you need to stand up for your values and beliefs. 2. It appears that someone needs to take charge of a challenging situation. 3. There is an emergency or question of safety and a quick decision needs to be made. 4. An unpopular course of action needs to be implemented (i.e., you need to enforce rules in a situation involving safety or discipline). Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center
    • 64. COMPETING PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL COSTS 1. This style generally sets up “win-lose” situations. 2. It’s difficult to promote democratic decision- making and/or creative problem-solving when a competing style is used often. 3. The sense of power gained by individuals using this style does not create an inclusive environment for others. 4. Frequent use of a competitive style can escalate anger and conflict. 5. If you use this style all of the time, people may develop a negative view of you. Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center
    • 65. ACCOMODATING: ENFP AND ESFP MALES behavior is based on giving up one’s own interests in order to satisfy the other party’s interests. A choice is made to yield. This style is appropriate when the issue is not of great importance to you and harmony is, or when the other party has all the power. The downside is that if used excessively, neither you nor others have an opportunity to understand your real strength. Accommodating: Letting go of your own ideas in order to satisfy others’ interests above your own. Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center
    • 66. ACCOMODATING: ENFP AND ESFP MALES 1. Letting go of your own ideas in a conflict, often for the purpose of satisfying someone else’s interests above your own. 2. Being cooperative, conceding to the wishes of others. 3. The opposite of competing. 4. A quick way to resolve a conflict. 5. May involve selfless charity or generosity. Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center
    • 67. ACCOMODATING IS BEST USED WHEN: 1. The issue is more important to the other person than to you. 2. You want to demonstrate that you are reasonable, and/or you realize that you are wrong. 3. You recognize that by ending the conflict through accommodation, you will not risk losing everything. 4. It’s important to preserve harmony or avoid disruption. 5. You believe that the sense of cooperation you are building now will enhance relationships in a way that will be beneficial over time. Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center
    • 68. ACCOMODATING: ACCOMODATING PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL COSTS 1. If used too often, an accommodating style may deprive you of the influence, respect, and recognition you deserve. 2. Your professional growth may be slowed if you don’t give yourself the chance to offer your own ideas and perspectives. 3. The person(s) to whom you make accommodations may get their desired results, but the underlying cause of conflict may remain unaddressed. Resentment can occur on the part of all involved. Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center
    • 69. COMPROMISING: ENTJ AND ESTJ FEMALES, AND THE ISTP, INTP, ESTP, ENTP OF BOTH GENDERS. behavior in which each party sacrifices some of this or her is also a fallback process when collaboration is not going to produce a fully win/win solution. This downside is that there may be missed opportunity for a more creative solution that would increase resources, productivity and satisfaction. Compromising: Middle ground between competing and accommodating, where you give up some of your ideas but not all of them. Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center
    • 70. COMPROMISING: ENTJ AND ESTJ FEMALES, AND THE ISTP, INTP, ESTP, ENTP OF BOTH GENDERS. 1. Compromising is the middle ground between competing and accommodating, in which each of the people involved in a conflict gives up some things and not others. 2. Compromise can be thought of as “sharing the pie” or “splitting the difference.” 3. It requires both assertiveness (e.g., standing up for what is really important to you) and some level of cooperation (being willing to give up that which is less important to you). Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center
    • 71. COMPROMISING IS BEST USED WHEN: 1. All or some of the issues being discussed are situation are moderately important to you. 2. The people involved realize that it is more important to solve the problem than to “win.” 3. There is a sense that it is possible to reach a “fair” or temporary settlement. 4. A quick middle-ground solution makes sense and brings at least partial satisfaction to all involved. Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center
    • 72. COMPROMISING PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL COSTS 1. Compromises may cover up the “real issues” and lead to a future power struggle. 2. Over-use of compromising may result in a climate of constant negotiation and/or “game playing.” 3. The fact that “everybody wins” may make you feel like a group of individuals rather than a real team. 4. You may experience a sense of personal cost if you “give in” on values and beliefs that are very important to you. Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center
    • 73. If you are too agreeable you are likely to end up feeling like your needs are not being met. Sometimes you have to risk making a stand. People who are prepared to disagree with you are likely to be more trustable.
    • 74. AVOIDING: INTJ, ISTJ, ISFJ, and INFJ behavior in which there is no attempt to satisfy either one’s own or the other party’s interests is found. A choice is made to remain apart from interactive engagement on the issue. This style is appropriate when the issue is of no importance to you or when used as a strategy to buy time for thinking or “cooling down,” or if the other person has unyielding power over you. The downside is that issues may persist and remain unresolved. Avoiding: Not addressing the existence of conflict. Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center
    • 75. AVOIDING: INTJ, ISTJ, ISFJ, and INFJ 1. Withdrawing from a “hot” situation. 2. Deciding that this is not a high priority issue for you. 3. Waiting for a more appropriate time to deal with the conflict. 4. Concerned that a confrontation may be damaging to you or others. 5. Don’t feel you have the power or authority to address the issue. Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center
    • 76. AVOIDING IS BEST USED WHEN YOU ARE: 1. Deciding that you don’t want to take on a particular conflict. 2. Choosing not to engage in a particular conflict. 3. Not addressing the existence of a difficult issue or conflict. Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center
    • 77. AVOIDING PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL COSTS 1. Important decisions may happen without your input. 2. You may have important information, input or perspectives that others don’t have. 3. Underlying interests/issues that really are important to you may not get resolved. 4. Over time, your silence may make you feel like your opinions don’t really matter. Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center
    • 78. COLLABORATING: ESFJ AND ENFJ behavior that seeks a way to satisfy fully both parties interests a win/win solution is found. Issues are examined that are important to both people and commitment is made to exploration of alternative resolutions that address all concerns. The downside is that the process may involve more time than is available. Collaborating: An approach in which people go beyond their own interests and solutions to create something new. Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center
    • 79. COLLABORATING: ESFJ AND ENFJ 1. An approach in which people go beyond their own interests and solutions to create something new. 2. Asserting your own self interests, while respecting and cooperating with the interests of others. 3. Meeting the interests of all parties to the maximum extent possible. 4. “One for all-all for one.” Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center
    • 80. COLLABORATION IS BEST USED WHEN: 1. You want to find a solution that meets all needs and doesn’t compromise anyone’s critical beliefs, values, or outcomes. 2. You are using a team approach in which you are trying to equalize power, gain commitment, and merge insights. 3. You have time to work towards a true collaborative solution. 4. You have authority to implement the solution. Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center
    • 81. COLLABORATING PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL COSTS 1. Real collaboration may take a lot of time. It requires lots of investment in terms of time, energy and hard work. 2. Problems that need to be solved very quickly or in the face of threats to safety may not be the best candidates for collaborative approaches. Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center
    • 82. COLLABORATING PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL COSTS 3. Collaboration cannot happen unless team members have a sense of trust and respect for one another, as well as a sense of shared participation and power. 4. There is a need for all group members to check in with each other to make sure that true collaboration is occurring. All members need to feel hear and included. If not, this may lead to some people feeling that one or two people are resolving issues while others are accommodating. Understanding Conflict: University of Vermont and Pacer Center
    • 83. We no longer have anything to boast in because our outer man is crushed, our strength is done away with, our reputation insignificant. It is only Christ within us, in all His beauty and grace, who can be seen now. – The Beauty of Christ through Brokenness K.P. Yohananan
    • 84. ROLES PLAYED IN CONFLICT SITUATIONS U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 85. This extensive list of roles shows the complexity and maintaining peace process. The range of skills, knowledge, resources, and aptitude required to be effective in these roles is unlikely to be found in one person or intervening body. Whether by design or happenstance, when a number of actors are engaged in different aspects of intervention work, there are certain challenges that will emerge.
    • 86. EXPLORER Carries messages between parties and reassures them about the room for negotiation and notes areas of common ground.
    • 87. ANALYST Conducts political, social or economic analysis of the conflict to assist other interveners in determining causes of conflict courses of action.
    • 88. DESIGNER Helps parties and interveners in creating a resolution process which will appropriately and effectively address the conflict issues.
    • 89. ANALYST Conducts political, social or economic analysis of the conflict to assist other interveners in determining causes of conflict and courses of action.
    • 90. COMMUNICATOR serves as the communication interface between parties involved in the process and those outside the process, such as the media, general public or international community.
    • 91. DECOUPLER Find ways for external parties who have become involved in the conflict to disengage while saving face and attempts to engage other external actors who can play less biased roles in endorsing the process or encouraging parties to participate.
    • 92. UNIFIER Helps with intraparty negotiations to repair divisions and assist them in creating a common understanding of the conflict and their goals and objectives.
    • 93. ENSKILLER Empowers parties with the skills required to negotiate, communicate interests, analyze scenarios and research aspects of the conflict.
    • 94. EDUCATOR Provide expert opinion or technical information to parties about aspects of the conflict issues.
    • 95. ENVISIONER Helps parties think about the conflict and possible solutions in new ways by using creative option generating processes or bringing relevant data.
    • 96. EVALUATOR Helps parties access possible solutions and their impact on the resolution of the conflict.
    • 97. GUARANTOR Ensures that parties do not incur unacceptable costs either through involvement on the process or if the process breaks down.
    • 98. LEGITIMIZER Ensues that parties to accept the process by granting their moral, political or financial approval.
    • 99. FACILITATOR Assists parties in communicating to one another by creating a safe process for discussions, framing or reframing the issues and parties’ understanding of the conflict and fostering a forum for effective listening and problem solving.
    • 100. ENHANCER Brings in resources to expand the options for settlement or reward participation in the process.
    • 101. ENFORCER Monitors agreements and codes of conduct so that the momentum for the process can be sustained.
    • 102. RECONCILER Prepare parties for long-term relationship-building activities which are designed to reduce patterns of negative behaviors, destructive stereotyping and miscommunication.
    • 103. INFORMATION - unprocessed data of every description which may be used in the production of intelligence. The meaning a human assigns to data. KNOWLEDGE - facts, including procedures, that have been learned and can be reproduced from memory. WISDOM - use of judgment to give knowledge relevance with specific situational context; soundness of judgment about the nature of people and the world. Future Leadership, Old Issues, New Method by Douglas Johnson II
    • 104. We therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf; Be reconciled to God. -2 Corinthians 5:20
    • 105. TRANSITION STATEMENT 1.SMG 2.PPF 3.PREP 4.PROBE South East Asia Speakers and Trainers Bureau
    • 106. SMG 1.Story (Good for giving 2.Message advice or for 3.Gain framing your personal testimony) South East Asia Speakers and Trainers Bureau
    • 107. SMG 4 Elements of a good story: 1. Character 2. Scenario 3. Conflict 4. Resolution South East Asia Speakers and Trainers Bureau
    • 108. SMG Message and Gain should be 1 sentence each only or no longer than 10 seconds total. Story can be 1:50 minutes long fill it with details. South East Asia Speakers and Trainers Bureau s M G
    • 109. SMG TRANSITIONAL STATEMENTS 1. I remember when…. 2. My message is… 3. So that… South East Asia Speakers and Trainers Bureau
    • 110. SMG TRANSITIONAL STATEMENTS 1. Naalala ko…. 2. Ang mensahe ko… 3. Upang… South East Asia Speakers and Trainers Bureau
    • 111. PPF 1. Past (Good for 2. Present disagreeing 3. Future without being too disagreeable) DIPLOMACY South East Asia Speakers and Trainers Bureau
    • 112. PPF TRANSITIONAL STATEMENTS 1. In the past…. 2. Now a days… 3. I hope that in the future… South East Asia Speakers and Trainers Bureau
    • 113. PPF TRANSITIONAL STATEMENTS 1. Dati…. 2. Ngayon… 3. Sana sa hinaharap… South East Asia Speakers and Trainers Bureau
    • 114. PREP 1. Position (Good for 2. Reason convincing 3. Example people about 4. Position your own convictions. Is very persuasive when given clear, and specific examples) South East Asia Speakers and Trainers Bureau
    • 115. PREP TRANSITIONAL STATEMENTS 1. I believe that…. 2. Because… 3. For example… 4. That is why I believe that… South East Asia Speakers and Trainers Bureau
    • 116. PREP TRANSITIONAL STATEMENTS 1. Naniniwala ako…. 2. Dahil / kasi… 3. Halimbawa… 4. Dahil diyan naniniwala ako… South East Asia Speakers and Trainers Bureau
    • 117. PROBE 1. Praise (Good for 2. Request presenting before 3. Options hostile crowd, or a 4. Best Option skeptical audience. 5. Explain But requires that your facts are complete and accurate) South East Asia Speakers and Trainers Bureau
    • 118. PROBE TRANSITIONAL STATEMENTS 1. Thank you for …. 2. My request is that… 3. Our options are… 4. I therefore recommend that… 5. So that… South East Asia Speakers and Trainers Bureau
    • 119. 1. Salamat sa …. 2. Ang aking hiling… 3. Ang ating mga pagpipilian… 4. Akin ngayon iminumungkahi … 5. Upang… South East Asia Speakers and Trainers Bureau PROBE TRANSITIONAL STATEMENTS
    • 120. 3 COMMUNICATION STEPS TO DIFUSE TENSE SITUATIONS Before tensions get worse, leaders should turn down the heat and get everyone back on track. 1. Empathize. Listen, and then show that you’ve heard by recapping how it looks from the member’s point of view. 2. Offer support. Demonstrate commitment to offer to lending a helping hand if the situation gets worse. 3. Invoke higher principles. To get perspective to remind people of vision, purpose and principles that make the frustrations worth enduring.
    • 121. HANDLING HECKLERS 1. Ask as many people as you can. 2. Write down all their questions and discuss later. 3. Ask them to share what they know. 4. Leave them alone. 5. Affirm and acknowledge only with “thank you”. 6. Have an assistant approach and intercede for you. 7. Declare a short break and pacify in private.
    • 122. ARGUING 101 1.Go on the defensive by asking questions. 2.Be truthful. 3.Appeal to the interests of the other person. 4.Defend what is defensible.
    • 123. THINKING GRAY - not to form opinions about ideas or people unless you have to. A well developed ability to them to think gray is the best defense a leader can have against this kind of assault in his intellectual independence. Value of suspending binary instincts – free from all restraints. The Contrarian, from Renegade Pastors of Nelson Searcy
    • 124. Binary Thinking - Good or bad; true or false; black or white - Instant in their judgment The Contrarian, from Renegade Pastors of Nelson Searcy
    • 125. THINKING GRAY - not to form opinions about ideas or people unless you have to. A well developed ability to them to think gray is the best defense a leader can have against this kind of assault in his intellectual independence. Value of suspending binary instincts – free from all restraints. The Contrarian, from Renegade Pastors of Nelson Searcy
    • 126. Flip Flopping - A leader have an argument against the proposition and decides that the proposition must be false
    • 127. THINK GRAY. THINK FREE. THINK GRAY - not to form opinions about ideas or people unless you have to. THINK FREE - train yourself to move several steps beyond traditional brainstorming by considering really outrageous solutions and approaches. The Contrarian, from Renegade Pastors of Nelson Searcy
    • 128. THINK GRAY. THINK FREE. Listen first, talk later, and when you listen, do so artfully. Experts can be helpful but there is no substitute for your own critical thinking and discernment. The Contrarian, from Renegade Pastors of Nelson Searcy
    • 129. THINK GRAY. THINK FREE. Beware of pseudoscience masquerading as incontrovertible fact or unassailable wisdom; it typically will do nothing to serve your interests or those of the organization. Never make decision until you have to. The Contrarian, from Renegade Pastors of Nelson Searcy
    • 130. THE 5 BASIC OUTCOMES One party prevails [2] [5] Transcendence [4] Compromise [3] Withdrawal + [5]One party prevails
    • 131. [1,2] ONE PARTY PREVAILS 1. The Rule of Man: Fight it out, might is right (to be avoided) 2. The Rule of Law: Adjudicate, some principle (like, need, taste) 3. The Rule of Chance: Some random method 4. Compensation: Broadening (triangle), deepening (double conflict)
    • 132. [3] WITHDRAWAL 1. Walk away from the situation 2. Destroy or give away the orange 3. Just watch the orange 4. Put it in the freeze
    • 133. [4] COMPROMISE 1. Cut the orange 2. Squeeze the orange 3. Peel the orange; divide the slices 4. Any other division
    • 134. [5] TRANSCENDENCE 1. Get one more orange 2. Get more people to share the orange 3. Bake an orange cake, have a lottery, divide the proceeds 4. Sow the seeds, make plantation, take over the market Creating a new reality.
    • 135. 1. FORCE. Parties have virtually no opportunity to present their case. 2. ADJUDICATION. Parties have opportunity to present their case but third party, appointed by state, imposes solution. 3. ARBITRATION. Parties can choose arbiter and whether the outcome will be binding. However, solution is imposed by outsider and may be imposed by law. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda SPECTRUM OF RESPONSE TO CONFLICT:
    • 136. 4. NEGOTIATION. Parties formulate issues and find resolution. However, the final solution might depend on the relative power of the parties. 5. MEDIATION. Mediator tries to eliminate obstacles to negotiation that they may include power imbalances. The parties determine the outcome. 6. RECONCILIATION. The process searches for solution but also fundamentally alters relationship. All parties must equally invest and participate. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda SPECTRUM OF RESPONSE TO CONFLICT:
    • 137. CONFLICT RESOLUTION: TERMS AND DEFINITIONS 1. COOPERATIVE PROBLEM SOLVING is an unassisted procedure which includes formal and informal discussions between individuals or groups. With this process, parties work jointly to determine the nature of their differences and look for creative alternative which will allow them to meet their needs, desires or concerns. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda
    • 138. 2. NEGOTIATION Positional Negotiation parties make offers and offers and counter offers which they feel will resolve the conflict. These exchange of offers typically start to converge on a solution which both parties find acceptable. Interest Based Negotiation is designed for parties who have a need to create or maintain healthy relationships. In this type of process, parties discuss the issues which face them and express the interests, values, needs that they bring to the table. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda CONFLICT RESOLUTION: TERMS AND DEFINITIONS
    • 139. 3. MEDIATION refers to a process through which a third party provides procedural assistance to help individuals or groups in conflict to resolve their differences. Mediation is a voluntary process and its success is linked to the vesting of the decision-making authority in the parties involve in the dispute. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda CONFLICT RESOLUTION: TERMS AND DEFINITIONS
    • 140. CONFLICT RESOLUTION: TERMS AND DEFINITIONS 3. MEDIATION is a voluntary process and its success is linked to the vesting of decision-making authority in the parties involved in the dispute. The mediator structures the process in a way which creates a safe environment for parties to discuss the conflict and find solutions which will meet their interests.
    • 141. CONFLICT RESOLUTION: TERMS AND DEFINITIONS 3. MEDIATION refers to a process through which a party provides procedural assistance to help individuals or groups in conflict to resolve their differences. It may be more important that the mediator is known and trusted by the parties to the conflict rather than being seen as impartial.
    • 142. 4. MEDIATOR usually an independent, impartial person who has no decision-making authority. It may be more important that the mediator is known and trusted by the parties rather than being seen as impartial. The mediator structures the process in a way which creates a safe environment for parties to discuss the conflict and find solutions which will meet their interests. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda CONFLICT RESOLUTION: TERMS AND DEFINITIONS
    • 143. 5. FACILITATION is an assisted process which is similar to mediation in its mediation in its objectives; however, facilitated processes typically do not adhere to a tightly defined procedure. In this type of proceeding, the facilitator works with parties to increase the effectiveness of their communication and problem-solving abilities. The facilitator may be either a third party or a person within one of the groups who is able to provide procedural assistance and to refrain from entering into the substance of discussion. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda CONFLICT RESOLUTION: TERMS AND DEFINITIONS
    • 144. 6. ARBITRATION is a form of dispute resolution where a third party makes the decision on the outcome of the dispute. Typically, the parties appoint the arbitrator to render this decision. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda CONFLICT RESOLUTION: TERMS AND DEFINITIONS
    • 145. Non spiritual authorities can negotiate a truce, but compliance will only be external and can only be maintained through the rule of law. Reconciliation is a ministry of grace. Blessed are the Peacemakers by Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander
    • 146. 7. CONFLICT RESOLUTION is a broad term which refers to the many ways disputes are resolved. Conflict resolution is a progression from an order based on coercion to one based on voluntarism. It creates a relationship not characterized by hierarchy but one marked by equality, participation, respect, mutual enrichment and growth. The term also refers to addressing the causes of conflict and seeking to build new and lasting relationships between hostile groups. U.S. Agency for International Development; Training of Trainers Manual: Conflict Transformation and Peace building in Rwanda CONFLICT RESOLUTION: TERMS AND DEFINITIONS
    • 147. 8. BARGAINING where interested parties go over their agreements and negotiates changes, sometimes one term at a time. This is the stage where hostility and anger can become evident, as the parties work on fine details of an agreement. Core Negotiation Skills: One Day Primer Velsoft Training CONFLICT RESOLUTION: TERMS AND DEFINITIONS
    • 148. If you were the devil and you wanted to disrupt the plans of God and cause conflict within the body of Christ, what would you do? You would try to divide the Body of Christ, because any kingdom divided against itself cannot stand, but any kingdom united together with one purpose will stand. Blessed are the Peace Makers, Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander
    • 149. The ministry of reconciliation is unique to the Church, and it begins with God. The Apostle Paul wrote, “Now all these thing are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ, and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself” - 2 Corinthians 5:18-19 Blessed are the Peacemakers by Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander
    • 150. No society can overcome racism, sexism, classism or any kind of elitism unless reconciliation has been appropriated on a personal level through genuine repentance, forgiveness and faith in God. Blessed are the Peacemakers by Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander
    • 151. That is why you can not legislate reconciliation; and that is why the state or any governing authority, other than the Church, has not been given the authority than the Church, has not been given the ministry of reconciliation. Blessed are the Peacemakers by Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander
    • 152. Every Christian ministry begins with our relationship with God. We can not impart to others what we do not possess ourselves. Once we have been reconciled to Him, then we can be reconciled to others. And only when that is accomplished we can properly exercise the ministry of reconciliation. Blessed are the Peacemakers by Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander
    • 153. However, being reconciled to another person may not always be possible when that person is unwilling. We will share a process of reconciliation when two people or people groups desire to be reconciled. Blessed are the Peacemakers by Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander
    • 154. Church discipline is also a ministry of reconciliation. We will discuss a ministry of mercy and grace. The goal is to help people realize that their unforgiving attitudes and actions are doing to them and to other, so they will repent. Blessed are the Peacemakers by Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander
    • 155. We cannot carry out a ministry of reconciliation if we have been guilty of racism, sexism, or other forms of elitism. Too often we have been guilty of exclusion when we should have been setting the example of inclusion. Blessed are the Peacemakers by Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander
    • 156. Abusive leadership, sectarianism, liberalism, and legalism have kept the church from exercising the ministry of reconciliation. Blessed are the Peacemakers by Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander
    • 157. Reconciliation “katallage” in Greek word 3 times refer to the reconciliation between God and humankind. In Romans 5:11; 2 Cor 5:18-19 In Ephesians 2:16 and Colossians 1:20-21“to reconcile fully” Blessed are the Peacemakers by Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander
    • 158. We can not preach the good news and be the bad news. Jesus said “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another,” -John 13:35 Blessed are the Peacemakers by Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander
    • 159. SYSTEM SUB- SYSTEM RELATIONSHIP ISSUE
    • 160. Immediate Short – Range Decade Generational Action Planning Thinking Vision (3-6 months) (1-2 years) (5-10 years) (20+ years) System
    • 161. We all need to get on the same end of this rope and pull in the same direction. If we do, nobody can defeat us along the run. -Tommy Lasorda
    • 162. We are to live before men an impeccable and exemplary lives. The litmus test is this: If a man has not put things right with his fellow-men, he cannot Put things right with God.