Sexual Response researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson researched and reported the Human Sexual Response (1966) This model outlined the 4 stages of physiological arousal: excitement, plateau, orgasm, resolution. Excitement: 1st stage, genitals swell with blood, nerves become sensitive. The vagina becomes “wet”, lubricated with a fluid known as transudate, a sign of arousal. Breathe quickens, nipples may harden and the skin may become flushed.
Plateau- Responses may become more intense. The clitoris glands retract under the hood. Orgasm- With stimulation of the clitoris or pressure on the cervix and for some the G-Spot, a rise to a peak or orgasm will occur. All tension releases with a series of pleasurable muscular spasms. Resolution- When stimulation is over and one has reached orgasm the Resolution stage begins. After an orgasm, all muscles release and return to normal. 4 Stages model is still used today by US mental health professionals. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) base definitions of sexual disorders off of Masters and Johnson’s model.
What is an Orgasm? Orgasm’s differ for everyone. For some it can be subtle, mind blowing, body shaking intense. Orgasms can differ depending on partner, self stimulation, menstrual cycle, how you feel emotionally/ physically. Some women orgasms through clitoral stimulation, some through penetration and some need both.
The clitoris, also knows as the “joy button” is anelaborate network of erectile tissue, glands and nerves.Many forms of rubbing, touching or pressure can movethe clitoris and ignite excitement. Did I miss it?!- At times it is hard to tell if you have hadan orgasm. If a woman becomes aroused with outenough stimulation to climax, the genitals / uterus mayache. This is similar to the term “blue balls” used for men. Some woman orgasm once, if their lucky multipletimes. The pressure to orgasm during a sexual act canput a strain on a person and therefore making it harderfor them to reach climax.
Dr. Ernest Grafenberg was the first doctor in 1950 to describe what the area of intense pleasure inside a womens vagina 1/3 to ½ up the front wall. They named it the G Spot in his honor. To find the G Spot using your finger, insert 2-3 inches inside towards abdomen, feel for a rough texture or ridges. You can stimulate the spot by using the “come here” motion with fingers. After stimulation of the G Spot or clitoris, some woman can ejaculate, also know as squirting or spraying. Researchers are not quite sure what makes up the liquid.
The act of touching yourself sexually. “Masturbation enables us to explore and experiment with our own bodies and learn what kinds of touch feels good.” Schools, parents, religious institutions and culture has made masturbation a shameful or a bad thing. By learning how to please yourself you know what you like and are likely to be satisfied and orgasm more easily.
Talking about sex and what you like/don’t like can be embarrassing and intimidating. Communicating to your partner about what does/ doesn’t feel good, what you’re willing to do and not do will only help to reach orgasm. Make sure your body language and verbal language are saying the same thing. If you do not feel comfortable doing something make sure you say no and not continue. Communication is the key to a healthy and satisfying sex life!
Sex with a partner doesn’t always mean penetration. “Fore play” is knows as the “build up” to the main event, intercourse. Some women might be in the mood for something else, oral sex, anal sex, mutual masturbation. It’s important to listen to your partner and their needs.
Some women love vaginal penetration. For others it can be un-pleasurable even painful. If you chose to have vaginal penetration make sure you are sexually excited, relaxed and wet/using a lubricant. Some women may ne ready for sex right away with out needing fore play, for others it’s a must. Anal Stimulation can be highly sexual for some people. The anus is not as flexible as the vagina, so you must go slow, and gently. Using lubricant is a must and also protection. The anus can cause serious vaginal infections and you are also at risk of HIV.
Cunnilingus (Female) slang: going down, eating out) Fellatio (Male) slang: blow job, giving head) The act of sucking, licking a partners genitals Like with any type of sexual act both parties must be aware of the others comfort level and needs. Some women don’t especially like receiving oral but don’t mind giving, same goes for men. To some it can be a turn on giving oral sex.
Many researchers of sex claim that the brain is the most important organ of sexual pleasure. Most people have fantasies, images, scenarios or stories that play out in the mind. These thoughts and images can have a very physical response. Fantasies are different for everyone. Some people enjoy role playing, dressing up, and bondage (being tied up or to something)
Erotica/ Porn are enjoyed by both men and women. Some watch it in privacy and some watch it with a partner. There are many opinions on porn. Some feminists say it is degrading and exploits women. There are many kinds of porn from fetish porn, lesbian/ gay porn, interracial porn, hard core and soft porn and many more. It all comes down to what you like and what turns you on.
Sadomasochism (S/M) and Bondage and Discipline (B&D) are playing out ones fantasy of dominance and submission. S/M and B&D is not for everyone. Those who enjoy being tied up of submissive find a sense of relief or pleasure in being able to relinquish control. Some people think that S/M and B&D is taboo or deviant. When in reality its all about consent and trust. Like any sexual act make sure that its something that both parties are comfortable with and you do not cross the lines drawn in what one is or is not comfortable with.
Many factors affect how much lubrication a women generates. If she is breast feeding, peri/postmenopause, medication ( birth control, ADHD, Chemotherapy) or if you are dehydrated. There is a wide variety of lubricants available either in a store near you or online. Water based lube with Glycerin, Water based lube w/o glycerin, silicone lubricant, Natural Oil based lubricant ( veggie, peanut, olive, Crisco type house hold oil. Not to be used with latex condoms.) Mineral Oils, Vaseline, body lotions can be used externally (destroys latex condoms) Sex Toys can be fun and enjoyed solo or with a partner. They can be bought at a sex toy shop or online.