1. EXT. Middle class housing estate- Day.
ELLIOT GREEN wearing jeans and a checked shirt, walks down the street towards a
door,he knocks on the door with an open palm three times.
Three TEENAGE GIRLS walk past Elliot, he jerks his head towards them a look of
intent plastered over his face.
The Teenage Girls hurry past looking back at Elliot disgusted and horrified that he
should dare be interested in them.
The door opens, it is Elliot's friend SYLVESTER LANGMAN dressed in tracksuit
bottoms and a T-SHIRT WITH HIS FACE ON.
SYLVESTER
Alright gay?
Elliot shakes his head.
Elliot
You're right,Tweety I am indeed
particularly happy today.
Sylvester looks confused, shrugs his shoulders and grabs a hooded jumper and a
plastic bag, he starts walking down the street leaving the door wide open.
Elliot catches up with Sylvester and falls into step, both are trying to act cool but are
looking ridiculous. Elliot's joke finally dawns on Sylvester and he pushes him into a
nearby hedge.
Sylvester
Who's gay?
Elliot gets out of the bush and brushes himself down.
ELLIOT
Sorry I forgot you don't have a
brain.
Elliot quickly grabs the Sylvester's HOOD and pulls it over his eyes forcing Sylvester
to double up.

2. SYLVESTER
Oi.
Elliot starts running down the street, laughing, Sylvester runs after him.
EXT. Child's Play park- Day
Sylvester and Elliot have just entered a park. Elliot spies another group of
TEENAGERS and shoots a sly look to Sylvester.
ELLIOT
It's time. For fuck's sake look
cool or at least normal.
Sylvester nods and pulls TWO cans of DIET COKE from his bag, he puts one on the
ground and throws the other to Elliot who catches it and jumps off the frame opening
the can as he lands.
Both walk over to the group, drinking as they go.
ELLIOT
Hey guys, you all good?
The group make exasperated gasps or nods and turn their backs on the pair. Sylvester
sees something shiny in the grass nearby and walks over to it.
SYLVESTER
Whoa! What is that?
One of the group spot what Sylvester is doing and they walk up to him. Sylvester
looks up apprehensively at TEENAGER 1, and laughs nervously.The teenager
snatches up the shiny spoon.
TEENAGER 1
Oh my God, He is such a moron.
Teenager 1 throws the spoon over a hedge. Sylvester is shocked. The group just laugh
meanly.Elliotstands there horrified but says and does nothing.
The group laughs hysterically. Elliot looks angry.
ELLIOT
He's not that stupid... well...
just piss off OK.

3. The group stop laughing immediately.
The group gather round Sylvester and Elliot forming a ring. Sylvester is sitting cross
legged on the ground with slight fear in his eyes but finally stands up, looking shifty.
Teenager 1 gestures at Sylvester
TEENAGER 1
He is thick and you are a socially
retarded, asshole.
TEENAGER 2 and TEENAGER 3 knock Elliot's legs out and pin him to the floor.
Teenager 1 reaches into Elliot's pocket and grabs his wallet and phone and steps back.
Sylvester just stands there looking awkward. The teenagers run off laughing cruelly.
Elliot stands up.
SYLVESTER
That went well.
ELLIOT
No, no it didn't. And I am tired
of having to pretend to like a bunch
of fuck-wits. We need to find some
friends, real friends. Ones who
won't steal our stuff and call us gay.
Elliot looks at Sylvester walk off. As they are walking a the titles appear as if being
blown up like a balloon.